Am I being unreasonable?

[Murihiku]

I went back to work part-time and we hired a babysitter/nanny for 20 hours a week at $10 per hour. At the interview we asked if paying her by cheque on Fridays was acceptable and she said it was.

But everytime I've tried to write her cheque she's told me it takes ten working days for a cheque to clear (because she has insufficient funds in her account). So I've paid cash so far.

Yesterday I had access to the car and I could have driven to the bank machine. That would have taken 30 minutes of my four hours of paid time. So today I said "You could have the cheque today or the cash on Monday or I can give you $135 today, instead of the $160 I owe you" (because she worked four days this week). Her face fell and she said "I was going to give the landlady that $160 tomorrow." She took the $135.

I feel guilty. Should I? She's my age (late 30s) with a family, and apparently just scraping by (paying rent by cash? on the seventh of the month?) whereas we are well-off at the moment. So far she's great with my baby and I like her a lot. But it's really inconvenient for us to go the bank machine all the time. I dunno--am I being a rich capitalist pig?

ETA: $10 per hour is the going rate in our town and what she asked for at the interview.

ETA: Please read my clarification in post #3!

[pranamama]

Are you sure there's not some other reason for her wanting cash? Maybe she is hiding this income. In any case, I would arrange to have cash and have her sign a receipt for her payment if she is asking for cash that you will have for your records. Dinging her pay seems a little tiny bit mean to me.

[Murihiku]

Originally Posted by pranamama

Are you sure there's not some other reason for her wanting cash? Maybe she is hiding this income. In any case, I would arrange to have cash and have her sign a receipt for her payment if she is asking for cash that you will have for your records. Dinging her pay seems a little tiny bit mean to me.

Yes we do get receipts.

Sorry, I wasn't clear--I am definitely going to pay her the extra $15 on Monday--I wasn't intending to dock her pay!

I offered to pay the whole amount on Saturday by driving to her house but she said only her husband would be home and I don't know him by sight. Perhaps I could take the $15?

ETA: $25, not $15!

[mammastar2]

I'd re-visit with her the fact that she originally said payment by cheque was fine, and say that if that's no longer the case, you need to know, because you don't generally plan to have that much cash on hand on Fridays.

It probably wouldn't be a big deal to pay cash (so long as you get receipts), but it's the suddenly having to come up with it without notice, right?

[earthmama369]

It sounds like you're a good fit other than the check issue, so with that and her apparent financial situation in mind, I would hazard a guess that she got a little optimistic about being able to take care of her finances during the interview, maybe combined with a bit of "I really want this job, so I'll make the check thing work and say yes, that's what I want," and then she just couldn't swing it. I'd revisit it with her, maybe let her know that her job doesn't depend on being able to take checks, but that you'd like to find a system that really works for both of you.

[pranamama]

you were very gracious then, I misunderstood

[Murihiku]

Originally Posted by pranamama

you were very gracious then, I misunderstood

Actually, you didn't. I read my post again, and it wasn't clear. My , not yours! Thanks for your response!

[Murihiku]

Originally Posted by mammastar2

I'd re-visit with her the fact that she originally said payment by cheque was fine, and say that if that's no longer the case, you need to know, because you don't generally plan to have that much cash on hand on Fridays.

You're right of course, but I'm dreading saying that--I hate conflict! Aargh!

The thing is we hardly ever use cash any more because of having to drive to the bank machine. I'll have to give it more thought.

Thanks for your response, and to you too, earthmama369--I'm sure she was thinking that and I don't blame her either. One of my problems is that DH is annoyed by this and I feel caught in the middle--although after he drove to her house to give her money one time he suddenly changed his tune a bit: "Their house seems so small; I guess we can give cash after all." But he doesn't think I should go drive to get it during my working hours either.

[nextcommercial]

I think that sometimes this just happens, and you couldn't actually do anything on that day...

But, since you know it's important to her, maybe you could try to have the cash in the house for her.

When I was younger, and just starting out, I NEEDED that money. Every single dime was a HUGE deal, and my daycare parents just didn't understand. They HAD money, so it never occurred to them that I didn't. I didn't even have money for food. There were nights that just to have food for the daycare kids the next day, I had to go to a friend's house and ask for thier left overs.

When you are to that point, it's really important to you to get all of your money, right away. You can't even wait til the next week.

But, since you really didn't see the big deal, it's not your fault. It's not like you are trying to withold money from her. You are honoring your end of the agreement. Now that you know how it is for her, maybe you could just try to accomodate her from now on, and if you can't one week, you just can't. As long as you are trying.

Hopefully things for her will improve, and then she won't feel so desperate.

I hope that other than this, things are going really well for the arrangement.

[kookykitty]

would it be possible for you to pull the money out ahead of time, say when you are at the grocery store already or something? then you can just hold on to it until "payday..." that way it's not an inconvenience to you, but it allows you to pay her on time and in the way that is easiest for her to access her money in a timely way. seems like a pretty small thing for her to ask, really...

christy

[Murihiku]

Originally Posted by kookykitty

would it be possible for you to pull the money out ahead of time, say when you are at the grocery store already or something? then you can just hold on to it until "payday..." that way it's not an inconvenience to you, but it allows you to pay her on time and in the way that is easiest for her to access her money in a timely way. seems like a pretty small thing for her to ask, really...

christy

Tried that at Zellers (Canadian equivalent to Walmart) yesterday but they have a $50 limit--irksome.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

I think its pretty clear that she needs to be paid in cash. I work with clients who cannot, for a variety of reasons, use a bank and have to depend on check cashing services (they take 5-10% of the check) or a bank account that is chronically overdrawn and thus funds are always "frozen". It is a pain in the neck.

I assume from your comments that cash flow isn't a big issue for you? (It is for us, so I'm always caught waiting for payday to have spending money/activity cash to give the nanny). If that is the case surely at some time during the week either you or your husband is near an ATM or the grocery store or the bank. I think you should build "pull nanny cash" into that routine so you have it on hand.

[Murihiku]

Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom

I think its pretty clear that she needs to be paid in cash. I work with clients who cannot, for a variety of reasons, use a bank and have to depend on check cashing services (they take 5-10% of the check) or a bank account that is chronically overdrawn and thus funds are always "frozen". It is a pain in the neck.
.

So THAT'S why she didn't want a cheque made out to cash!

Well, we're going to visit a bank machine tomorrow and I will take out the absolute maximum that I can--hopefully we can make this work until the job ends at the end of June.

Thanks to everyone for the advice!

[jennybear]

I would just take out cash once/month and keep it in a safe place at home. That way, you're not running to the bank all the time and you don't have to deal with any awkwardness.