Is groping part of the weaning process?

[boatbaby]

DS is 4.5 and just a few months ago still nursed to wake and sometimes to sleep. He's now quickly dropping nursing to once a week or so and even then just for a few seconds. He's talking about wanting a weaning party, etc.

BUT -- he can't keep his hands off me!! : He was never a twiddler, so this is all new for me. In general he just wants to grope and paw at me all the bloody time and it's making me CRAZY! I talk to him about how even when he decides to stop nursing we can still cuddle, we still co-sleep, i will still hold him etc. But he is constantly putting his hands up my shirt, down my shirt, up my skirts, down my pants and I am ready to go insane!!! Is this part of the process of letting go of that closeness?

Any ideas?

[lthw]

I don't know if other people have dealt with this, I'll be interested to see . . . but DD is 4 and is nursing less and now really likes to nuzzle up to me and then all of a sudden kiss my breast. It's very loving, but it makes me really uncomfortable, so I remind her that she can kiss my cheek or my (pregnant) belly, but she needs to respect that my breasts are mine and I don't like her to touch them unless we're nursing - and that that's for private time only. It really irritates me when she does this in public and she knows it but it seems like she has a hard time controlling herself from doing it. I don't know how much of it is a weaning thing and how much of it is just learning where mommy's personal physical boundaries are - which I'm sure is a little confusing because we do still nurse, co-sleep, etc.

Good luck, thanks for bringing this up.
L.

[jeliphish]

My DD who is 2.5 weaned a few months ago but she has since gotten more and more "gropie". She cannot keep her hands off of me or others. With me, my mom, DH's mom she wants to keep a hand in the middle of cleavage whenever she is cuddling and sucking on her passy. With DH she has begun to love to touch a mole on the back of his neck and twiddle it as she would a nipple. At bed at night she want me to turn around so she can twiddle a mole on my back and will throw a fit if I don't let her. She has just become soooo touchy feely since weaning which is fine but sometimes it makes me want to scream. I know it's for comfort and I am glad that she can find comfort in all her family members through random moles or 60 year old cleavage but I don't see her stopping anytime soon...and I know it's because of her weaning.

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

Oh wow - I didn't realize that this might be what's going on here.

DD weaned in January at 3.5 (was only nursing for 2 minutes at bed-time, but I did give her the final push because of upcoming fertility treatments).

She has always been very "touchy-feely" but she very regularly now wants to kiss my breasts and give me lots and lots of hugs and kisses (on top of the kisses she insists on giving me if I give her The Frown when we're at odds on what's appropriate behaviour at that moment LOL).

So yes, here too. So far, breast-kissing has been in private only, but I'm feeling verrry crowded the past month or so - I've been getting irritated with it, but clearly she needs to do this right now so I guess we'll need to find a middle ground.

You know, I've never entered this forum until this week (2 months after my preschooler weaned LOL) and I'm still learning stuff that's useful to me. How cool is that.

[tine1973]

Definitely. DS is 2.5 and usually only nurses before and after (sometimes) sleep, but any time he is upset, tired, etc. is hand shoots down my shirt. I guess its just comforting to know they are there? lol. Usually if we are in public I can gentle pull them out...and pretend no one is noticing!

[annethcz]

My kids also got much more touchy-feely as they got older and nursed less frequently.

[Jennifer3141]

My DS tends to leave my breasts alone. My DD on the other hand gropes me the second she discovers I'm naked and LOVES to kiss my breasts. I choose to believe this is their way of saying goodbye to something that not only fed them but comforted them all their lives. I think they are doing to it reassure themselves that the breasts are still there and if they need access, there they are!

We have had a discussion about how groping mama up in public is not so cool though. I don't want people thinking we're a mini sex cult of some kind.

I also had a good friend whose 6 year old FF DD loved trying to grope her mama but we pegged that to sexual curiosity. She wanted "boobahs" herself sooooo badly.