leaving toddler for 3 nights :(

[0cean]

Hi everybody! The last time I was active on this board I was a SAHM with three very "mothered" babies. Things have changed drasticly. I started a waitress job, divorced, started a new relationship, had a new baby, and still had to work my waitress job. Then I found a way to go to school on a scholarship to study things I have always wanted to learn. Now I am working at the restaurant, going to night classes, working as an intern, and participating as a founding officer in a student association.

So I received a grant to go to Arizona for 3 nights to study at the photovoltaic lab at ASU next weekend. It's exciting and wonderful, however, my youngest is only 18 months old, and still nursing at night. Do any of you have any suggestions or words of wisdom? I am thinking I'll bring the pump, even though I have never been good with the thing and he just supplemented with formula whenever I was gone. So we also have some toddler formula for him, and he'll take a bottle. He'll be with his daddy who he is with almost all the time, so no surprise babysitters. I have just never done anything like this, I am afraid he will feel like I abandoned him... I am already am gone soooo much!


Shayna

[purplepaperclip]

I think it will probably be harder on you than on him. I'm facing a similar situation in the next couple months. I'm going to take my manual pump with me in case I get engorged, but I won't be pumping unless that happens. I hope some btdt mums chime in with their experience as I too would love to hear it.

Just a side note, I WOH full time and my lo is a very "mothered" baby too.

ETA: Congratulations on the grant! Sounds like an awesome opportunity for you!

[Ruthla]

I think your toddler will be OK- especially since he's used to being at Daddy's house without you (and not nursing when he's there.) It would be harder for him if he was at your home with a loving caregiver (say a Daddy who lived with you, or grandma) in places where he's used to nursing.

Bringing the pump is an excellent idea for your own comfort and health.

[mama lipenga]

I had to do this twice in the past month with my 13 month old. (Had to be away for three nights the first time, and two nights the second). It went much better than I expected. I am usually on night duty (luckily he had just started sleeping through the night for the most part, so it was easier on daddy than I thought it would be). I made sure my husband put him to bed a couple of times before I left, for practice. I brought my pump, and pumped three times a day, cause I was afraid of losing my supply.
He was very happy to see me when I got home, but I certainly don't think he felt abandoned.
So go and enjoy!

[La Sombra]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

I think your toddler will be OK- especially since he's used to being at Daddy's house without you (and not nursing when he's there.) It would be harder for him if he was at your home with a loving caregiver (say a Daddy who lived with you, or grandma) in places where he's used to nursing.

Bringing the pump is an excellent idea for your own comfort and health.

I'm pretty sure the OP's DS's dad *is* her partner who lives with her. She is divorced from the father of her three *older* children, not ds's dad.

[~pi]

Originally Posted by suebee79

I think it will probably be harder on you than on him.

:

I had my first overnight when my DS was nearly 2 and then was gone for three nights a few weeks later. He was (and is) a frequent night-nurser, so I was stressed about the trips. He definitely noticed when he woke up and wanted to nurse, but he was with DH, who helped him understand that I wasn't there right then, but I would be back soon. He was really fine, and although I missed him, I actually kind of enjoyed having a full night's rest.

Congrats on the grant!

[kaybee]

BTDT, and it was ok. At this point I've left on several 2-4 day work trips, and my 25mo is still happily nursing away. It sounds like he gets a little annoyed when he trudges into our bedroom the first night and discovers I'm not there, but Daddy can snuggle him to sleep and he's ok after that. Nights 2 and 3 (etc.) are easier for him - he just goes straight to Daddy. He has no problem resuming nursing where we were when we left off.

I, on the other hand, get lonely with an empty bed in a strange place, and don't always get the wonderful night's sleep I was hoping for! Oh well

The pump can be nice if you get engorged.

[0cean]

thanks! that was just what i needed to hear. i am not ready to quit nursing yet either. at first this trip was scheduled for 8 nights! I almost did not apply for it, but when it was shortened to three i thought that i could manage and only just now started to worry about it.

[Jennifer Z]

Go. Have fun. You will want a pump just to keep yourself comfortable in case you get engorged (although you might since he isn't an infant any more). Formula will be fine for a few nights, especially if he eats regular food already.

btw, a warm shower and hand expressing can also help relieve engorgement if the pump isn't working, although the pump often does a better job unless you have problems relaxing (where the warm shower can really help things out).