Feel like I can't go on - but I want too (long - sorry) - Page 2

[mamallama]

Log off and go to bed! :P

Do the progressive relaxation--start with your toes and end with your eyebrows.

Do it again.

Go to your "happy place."

Count sheep.

Listen to your dh snore and count the ways in which you love him.

Stare at the square of moonlight/streetlight above your bed and let your mind wander...

...whatever you do, get yourself horizontal and let go of the worries of the day and just chill out! You have such a short time left with this pregnancy--enjoy it!

With Love,
Tessa

[prettypixels]

I hope that your labor progresses quickly now and you have a beautiful UC! But if not... well, instincts are so important, but I also think it's important to listen to our bodies and the messages they are trying to send us. You are not disappointing anyone by not progressing! But... gently... it may be your body trying to tell you something. Maybe not, but don't be afraid to listen to yourself... you are not a disappointment no matter what, to anyone!

[CorasMama]

Originally Posted by ScarletBegonias

i totally understand. i hope you can find something!

it sounds like baby is doing fine, and as long as you are still feeling good about things (nothings *wrong*), i wouldn't worry too much. i just saw some stories (on this forum) about mom's with broken waters and start/stop labors for several days. i remember one mom mentioned 80+ hours from when her waters broke to delivery. my own labor was 42 hours, from when i took the relaxant, not from when my labor started it's own erratic pattern!

hang in there, you can do it! just keep trusting yourself and what your body is telling you!

How did those stories all come out?

It sounds like you're not sure of positioning. Can you call a midwife? If not, surely there must be a way to get to a doctor or hospital other than driving yourself. There are friends, taxis, even ambulances (which your insurance will cover, as they always see labor as the zOMG emergency).

[ScarletBegonias]

Originally Posted by CorasMama

How did those stories all come out?

they all turned out well! and i believe most of them were hb's. that's why i mentioned them.

[ScarletBegonias]

Originally Posted by 1stimestar

Lots of laboring women do.

:

[beansricerevolt]

Read your post last night and have been thinking about you this morning.
I second the lift and tuck.

Sending thought and prayers your way!

[amydidit]

I'm feeling a bit better today. Less frustrated and discouraged. I took a benedryl last night and I feel like I was finally able to get some REAL rest. I still couldn't sleep through the sporadic contractions I was having, but I was able to actually SLEEP in between them this time. I feel more rested today than I have in a long time (especially all weekend).

DD2 is still here right now, but IL's have agreed to take her to their house later today so DH can help me with some of the techniques on Spinning Babies. He was supposed to work today, but I couldn't deal with being alone today. This wasn't the best financial decision though, but... oh well.

I'm thinking more and more and more that her positioning just isn't right. That would also explain why I feel downward movement, but nothing engaged (hence why I still gush when I stand and walk... no head plugging me up. Based on where the movement are I don't think she's transverse. But I can believe she might be breech. Her heartbeat is right in the middle. I'm not scared of a breech birth, though of course would PREFER vertex. Right now I'll take anything that will just get her down and out.

I really do feel like everything is fine, physically. Emotionally was another story. I was feeling more like I was disappointing people because a friend had driven 3 hours to be with me at the birth, and then nothing. So I wasted her time, and I still feel horribly for that. But I need to let that go. Things don't always go the way we expect, and that's not my fault. I have to remember that.

I don't feel this is a reason for a trip to a hospital. It's just a variation of normal.

[LivingOdyssey]

In my experience as a doula I've encountered this a few times. What has worked is a change of mood - dimming lights, refocus, soft music, hands and knees (alot - for at least 20 minutes at a time), and maybe even hands and chest like PP suggested. And the pelvic rocks while in H & K. Also taking a blanket/rebozo and rocking the baby back and forth while on H & K.

And variability - don't exhuast yourself in one position. Use bath, walking, sleeping, h & K as a rotation. And when sleeping not only rotate sides but rotate positioning of your legs.

I'll be following your way to your birth as long as you are posting...

[prettypixels]

Is it possible to have a midwife come and check you out? That way at least you'd know for sure what you are dealing with, you know?

[amydidit]

Originally Posted by LivingOdyssey

In my experience as a doula I've encountered this a few times. What has worked is a change of mood - dimming lights, refocus, soft music, hands and knees (alot - for at least 20 minutes at a time), and maybe even hands and chest like PP suggested. And the pelvic rocks while in H & K. Also taking a blanket/rebozo and rocking the baby back and forth while on H & K.

And variability - don't exhuast yourself in one position. Use bath, walking, sleeping, h & K as a rotation. And when sleeping not only rotate sides but rotate positioning of your legs.

I'll be following your way to your birth as long as you are posting...

Thank you. DH and I are still waiting for the IL's to take DD2, and then we'll be focusing on positioning. Until then we're thinking of taking a walk.

I probably didn't do hands and knees long enough. I have a bad knee so that position is torture even on a good day. And wow, does it ever increase the intensity of the contractions. I really like the idea of using a rebozo. It looks amazing. I can't wait to try that.

Thanks for all the advice. I knew I'd be able to get some good advice on how to overcome this. Last night I was an emotional wreck so I probably didn't write the post as well as I could have. But I'm glad to see so many could see to the heart of what I was looking for.

Originally Posted by prettypixels

Is it possible to have a midwife come and check you out? That way at least you'd know for sure what you are dealing with, you know?

We don't have a midwife. I don't feel anything is wrong that would indicate medical intervention is needed at this time either.

[georgia]

Amy, I'm concerned about your transportation options. If you feel like you need to get some help, and can't have someone come to you, are you going to be able to get the assistance you might require?

My third was a malpositioned baby. All bets were off because nothing made sense to me. I can empathize with the exhaustion and mental/emotional toll. I'm just concerned that if or when you do decide to go in that you're going to be able to get there safely. I'm uncomfortable with the feeling of being trapped and not having options.

My thoughts are with you

[amydidit]

If there is an emergency, or even if I just feel I need to get in to be seen, my IL's will take me. I do also have a casual friend here in town who said she would help transport if needed. And of course if it's an actual emergency I don't have a problem calling an ambulance. Unfortunately being the only driver makes it difficult to get to store in the middle of the night and things like that. But if there was a problem we have people we can call.

[saharasky]

Isn't there some sort of saying about third babies? Something about them being unpredictable.

I'm glad to read that you got some sleep last night. Keep yourself rested today ...fed and hydrated ... and do what you can to get the babe positioned well.

I'll be peeking back to see how you're doing. Have faith.

HUGS

[amydidit]

Originally Posted by saharasky

Isn't there some sort of saying about third babies? Something about them being unpredictable.

I've heard that. But I didn't want to believe it.

[JessicaS]

I am glad you have some options.

[Delicateflower]

Amy, could you just go to the hospital, have them check position and come home again? I feel like a totally stalled labor after it had started strongly is a message from your body and your baby telling you that it's not safe for them to continue to labor actively and they'll wait for you to get some help before they want to continue with birthing/being born.

If you went to the hospital now there's time to induce you before any infection starts from your broken waters. If you wait until you have a fever there won't be any choice, you'll have to have a c-section ASAP before the infection harms the baby. I wouldn't be uncomfortable with being 56 hours from when my waters broke if I was in labor (I have BTDT), but you're not even in labor yet.

Are there any midwives nearby who might come to you even though you haven't seen them before? The problem might be something really simple that an experienced birth professional can sort out in minutes and then you get your home birth. You've chosen to post this in the birth professionals forum, which indicates you instinctively feel the need for help.

[nummies]

I don't think that there is cause for concern yet. But are you certain that your waters have broken? Are you leaking with each contraction/ when you get up and move around?

Could possibly just be a small leak that you felt and now the bag has sealed itself again.

Just a thought.

Best wishes!

[Mama Dragon]

The biggest thing is your water. My water was broken manually for my first 3 and broke while I was pushing during my uc so I don't have experience with it breaking before/during labor, but I am wonder how much water came out? You said a big gush, and a small leak. If it was a "big" gush, like, most of the fluid, you should get to the hospital. If it was a little gush that looked big (I thought the first gush was big with my uc until the 2nd gush) and you're still leaking fluid, you should be ok for a bit yet. But I would be really concerned if you did indeed lose a lot of fluid.

Be mindful of your pains. Separated placenta is nothing to mess around with. If it hurts that bad, but isn't coming regular, please consider getting checked out.

[mamato3cherubs]

I am just sending good smooth labor vibes your way, in hopes you can get just what you need to birth this babe soon

Sounds like you know what you need and how to trust your own body and instincts. This little one will come, and I cant wait to read the update when she does

ps-for what its worth, my third was crazy too, I believe the unpredicatble thing for sure

[super mamabug]

Hi sweetie, I hope you are resting and doing well. I felt the need to respond to this post. I don't want to put any negativity or doubts into your head right now and this is coming from the best place. I want you to make sure you think, focus and listen to your baby. Make sure that you aren't just listening to your desire for UC. Many midwives will pick up clients even in labor. If you get checked you can release your fear and still have a homebirth. Good luck and I hope all goes well.