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Teen Step Daughter - Page 2

post #21 of 25
I just wanted to throw in, as a 'step-daughter' who's mom has been partnered since I was 14 or so, that I get where your dsd is coming from. I had a lot of issues with my parents (due to how they raised me, if you can call it that) so when my mom met a new guy, I was nice but bitter. I'm not sure why, bt looking back it seems like I wanted her attention to be on me, and only me, and I didn't like the thought of this other man determining my life. It didn't help either that I was also sexually active/using drugs, and the boyfriend was a therapist for out-of-control girls ( since he was/is soo lame!).

Anyway, I am sorry you are going through this. I hope that your dsd comes to a point (sooner rather than later) where she can accept the choices that your husband has made and appreciate him as another human being (yeah, gotta love those peer relationships, right?). I also agree that your husband should be the one to deal with her disrepect toward him, but you have the right to stand up for yourself if you feel that you are being mistreated. Please try to remember where everyone is coming from, and where you are all trying to go.

Good Luck!
post #22 of 25
I'm not a step-mom so take my opinion with a grain of salt. I do have a step mom (and dad). I agree with your DH. Mainly because it took years for me to get to the point that I could see that my step parents genuinely cared for me and were acting in my best interests. Also, she likely doesn't view you as an authority figure. I mean to her you're pretty close to her age and she probably doesn't view you as "parenting material." (No offense, I'm 25 so I'm not trying to be an ageist). Anyways, try to build a healthy relationship with her so she can see that you care for her father and her. It's hard being the step even in the best situations.
post #23 of 25
Take my post however as I am not a step parent....But My BFF was dating a guy that was in his 40's my friend is in her 20's he had a teen daughter and a 4 year old DS.....And it was hard on her....His daughter told me once as I was over there alot to let my DS play with his DS.....But anyhow his daughter told me it was weird that he was with someone old enough to be her sister,and she didnt understand that this 23 year old could tell her what to do....She just wanted her to be a friend.....And it grossed her out to see them hold hands,kiss ect.......

I have no clue how old your DH is but,your age may be the reason....

I would just tell your dsd that you respect her,and ask her if your age has anything to do with her rebelling? Just let her know that you are there for her when ever she needs you and you wish to be friends........Let her know that its kinda cool that your not old as you have been where she is at and kinda know how hard the teen years are......

Have you and her went shopping or out to lunch or just done anything fun together?

Hope everything works out,I know I was a mouthy teen it will pass hormones suck...........
post #24 of 25
You have gotten some great advice here already. Al teenagers rebel, step parents or no. I remember the hell I put my parents through at that age and through high school... so am a little scared when my LO's hit those ages. lol

But I agree with trying to be her friend. She is far too old to parent anyway and would totally resent it. She may need a friend though...

Good Luck!
post #25 of 25
Originally Posted by Aja3 View Post
I have known my husband for 4 years. We have been married for a year. She was fine until we got married. Now all of a sudden I am the reason for all her problems.

I do not believe my age has anything to do with this. I will give respect when I get respect. That's how it works. If she wants respect and to be treated like a "young adult" she needs to act like one. Plain and simple. I can clearly see this is not the place for my situation. I really didn't think this was for people who think 15 year olds should be adults and have no respect for the people they live with. This is what's wrong with society. She is a CHILD. NOT an adult. I will continue being silent and not let her know what a spoiled little brat she has become. I'll just let the resentment eat at me until it destroys my marriage. Yeah, that sounds like a great plan. Thanks for the advice.
And that attitude right there is probably 95% of your problem.

You'll give respect when you get it? Wow, I really feel for this girl and I can see why she is acting out.
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