Boob-dependancy and labor?

[IceyTheBatmom]

DS is nearly 18 months, and is a total addict for boob. We don't do bottles, as DH had the wrong idea on how it was supposed to work, and they both ended up traumatized by it, so he won't take Bmilk in a bottle.

He's absolutely terrific with his solids, he takes a regular cup of water/juice/Cmilk very well, and might even be persuaded to take Bmilk in a cup, but he still has a major need to nurse, especially for naps and bedtime.

He will be barely 2 years when he becomes a big brother in October, and I don't think he's going to be ready to go who-knows-how-long without nursing. I have every confidence in giving tandem nursing my best shot, but if I'm in labor for more than 5 hours, and lets face it, it's very possible, what is that going to do to him?

We're planning a homebirth, I'll have midwifes there, my mom will be 'DS's person,' with other close family coming by to give her a few breaks, and DH will probably be hoping back and forth between me and DS, bringing DS to come see me on and off, and then when the actual birth happens, but I'm not sure he's old enough to deal with seeing me in labor, and I don't know if I will be able to nurse him during the labor. Early labor, maybe, and probably, and very likely I'll go as long as I can for him, but it will probably also bring on labor faster, if I understand nipple stimulation.

I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to respond and give him something he needs that no one else I know can give him at a time when he might need it most, and what affect that will have on him and his behavior towards the new baby.

[lirpasirhc]

I saw an amazing birth video with a mom in a similar situation. Mom labored on the toilet moaning through contractions. The toddler came in w/ Dad between contractions and Mom completely switched to "mommy mode" with a chipper voice talking to the tot as he nursed. She made a joke about DS helping naturally augment labor. Mom switched to kneeling on the floor for birth and caught both twins herself.

I think part of the key is having a trusted adult (AKA: Dad) there with the toddler to explain that mom is "working hard" or something like that and to take the toddler out if things are too intense.

[jecombs]

Have you ever tried to get him to postpone nursing? When he asks, have you ever said "not right now" or "let's do this puzzle first"? How does he respond? I think that is an important first clue to how he is going to handle it in labor if you don't want him to nurse. Additionally, it might be good practice for when the baby comes to get DS used to hearing "in a minute" because, let's face it, he will have to wait if you are changing the baby or something. And there's nothing wrong with that!

I would try giving him some nursing limits now, just to see how he does with it! If he pitches a fit, just back-off a bit, but keep trying.

[cdmommie]

I don't have experience yet, but I am due at the end of this month and still nursing my 18 month old. I am planning on nursing her durring labor if she needs/wants it. I will also have support there (MIL, my mom, my sis) just incase she starts getting scared so they can take her out. If I remember, I will let you know how it goes.

[BoringTales]

He'll be almost 2. He'll be fine. Have you left him yet with someone else for long-ish periods? (meaning, skipping a nursing session or two?)

If you aren't around, especially, older kids usually do just fine missing a nursing or two.

Its totally normal to be concerned for your first when preparing to have your second, but this is something I'd try not to worry about too much!

When I had my 2nd, my first was only 17.5 months. He was weaned by then, but was still very much attached at the hip at all times. He did just fine staying overnight without me while I was in the hospital! You'll be surprised how well kids adjust!