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Is it illegal or dangerous to leave a kid in the car for 5 minutes? - Page 5

post #81 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Super Glue Mommy View Post
I see all the the things you mentioned as threats, and as you said, some are worse then others. the parking lot being more dangerous then the people in it. but the reality is, child abduction is still a threat, even if its a very very small one. its still possible. and its one of the things that is much less possible if child is in your sight then if child is not in your sight. so that's how I assess risk. while something may not be VERY dangerous, it can still be MORE dangerous (even if only a little) then my other options. KWIM? I agree with you though, the other things you mentioned would be my bigger concerns as well.
If you have two choices, walking your child through the parking lot or leaving them in the car, then the risk assessment isn't both or neither, it's one or the other.

I really do think in many cases, walking the child through the parking lot is a greater risk than the other. Especially in the winter. But there are so many more parking lot accidents than strangers who take children out of cars that it seems like if we looked at this objectively it would be obvious which would be safest. The only reason the predator risk seems big is because the few times it does happen, it's on the news for weeks straight, and kids get hit in parking lots often enough that it isn't even a news story so we don't hear about it.
post #82 of 102
If we're talking about abduction as the risk then I wouldn't have my child out of arm's reach... Someone could snatch your kid very easily while you watch through the gas station window...Then what?
When I drop off/pick up at preschool, if I really don't want to take the baby (e.g. she's sleeping), I ask one of the other mom's to keep an eye while I run in...usually by the time they're done buckling their child(ren), I'm back! Maybe that would work, OP?
post #83 of 102
Well, it is generally illegal, so it that worries you then you probably shouldn't do it.

Also if you are asking opinions on this then you are bound to get to hear all of the worst. I've never seen any other thread on this discussion go the other way.

You will have to evaluate the situation and make your own decision. Then you have to feel strongly enough about it to live with the risks.

It also may depend on your children.

The fact of the matter is we all could be abducted, tortured and killed at any moment but here we are.... I don't think scare tactics and 'have you heard this story...' have ever helped me be a better parent.

But I do my own thing, so I might be different.

Personally, I do leave my kids in the car sometimes. They are secure, I don't leave the car running or even unlocked, I do not do it when it's extremely hot or cold (duh) and I usually can pretty much maintain the sight of the car.

If it were me, and I was out of sight of the car for awhile and knew I might end up chatting, I'd bring in the sibling. But, if pick up time was pretty fast and the sibling was sleeping (and I felt pretty confident he/she would stay alseep) I'd leave them wait.
post #84 of 102
Quote:
If we're talking about abduction as the risk then I wouldn't have my child out of arm's reach... Someone could snatch your kid very easily while you watch through the gas station window...Then what?
No, they could not. Not if your car doors are locked with the alarm set. How long do you think it takes to run / sprint 10 feet when you see someone trying to break into your car to kidnap your child? How many abductors are going to continue to try to get into your car, in public, with the alarm going off?

As for what the OP does, there is no way I could leave my child in a car out of my sight.
post #85 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post
If you have two choices, walking your child through the parking lot or leaving them in the car, then the risk assessment isn't both or neither, it's one or the other.

I really do think in many cases, walking the child through the parking lot is a greater risk than the other. Especially in the winter. But there are so many more parking lot accidents than strangers who take children out of cars that it seems like if we looked at this objectively it would be obvious which would be safest. The only reason the predator risk seems big is because the few times it does happen, it's on the news for weeks straight, and kids get hit in parking lots often enough that it isn't even a news story so we don't hear about it.
i think the predator issue seems big because even if it only happens once a month (that's about how often it happens at minimum where I live) while that is still not a lot in the scheme of things, its a big issue because of what it means not because of how long they talk about it on the news.

I feel that a child is safer WITH me in a parking lot then alone and out of sight in the car. because *I* know how to be safe in a parking lot - that is not including some bizarre freak accident such as a car flipping onto you - or one the other end of things some freak accident like your car exploding while you are in the store. however, as you can tell by my first post in this thread, the issue is separate of leaving the child in the car while you are still watching them.
post #86 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amylcd View Post
No, they could not. Not if your car doors are locked with the alarm set. How long do you think it takes to run / sprint 10 feet when you see someone trying to break into your car to kidnap your child? How many abductors are going to continue to try to get into your car, in public, with the alarm going off?
Personally, I believe it *could* happen but we're talking about excruciatingly rare situations....I don't doubt too much in this world.

That said I completely agree with this...

Quote:
Originally Posted by midwestmeg View Post
The fact of the matter is we all could be abducted, tortured and killed at any moment but here we are.... I don't think scare tactics and 'have you heard this story...' have ever helped me be a better parent.
...even though I shared the horror story. I just can't even believe that happened to someone I know! But, like I originally said, it hasn't deterred me from occasionally leaving my kids in the car...I just use my best common sense and *I* think I'm a reasonably cautious and smart woman.
post #87 of 102
The only time I *ever* leave kids in the car is if I am pulling right up to the place, can see them the whole time, am only going to be a second, and I ALWAYS lock the door. (like to pick up dry cleaning, for example. My car is like 6 feet away.
post #88 of 102
NO, I'm bein honest, I would never ever do it. The first thing that enters my head is 'kidnapping'
post #89 of 102
It only takes a few minutes for something to happen that you could end up regretting for the rest of your life. :





http://www.briannasbeddingandbeyond....lsbedding.html
post #90 of 102
How about this: it's winter, you've bundled up the kids and gotten them into their car seats to go to day care/preschool/school and you realize that you've forgotten something in the house that you must bring with you. (Somebody's lunch, the tuition check due that day, fresh diapers, nap blanket, etc.) Would you honestly unbuckle both kids, take them out of the car, bring them back inside while you grab the lunch/diapers and take them back out again?

I'm a bit scattered in the mornings, and I have more than once realized that I need something from inside for school. I lock the car, run inside, and run right back out. That is technically "leaving them unattended," but I don't think it's irresponsible. (But then, I'm a MORON.)
post #91 of 102
I have a 6 year old with special needs and an active 2 year old. There are times (sometimes multiple times a week) when my DS1 is having a meltdown and I need to get both kids in the van. I don't think it's safe to try to carry a screaming, kicking, hitting, 4ft, 55lb 6 year old and a squirming, trying-to-escape 30+lb 2 year old through a parking lot and then struggle to get them both safely in their seats without letting either escape. Since I'm rarely in a position where I can leave the 2 year old while I carry out the 6 year old, I carry the 2 year old out first. I lock him in his carseat (which he can't escape from), lock the doors, and then go back for the 6 year old. If I tried locking the 2 year old in his seat, and then drove the van to the building, I'd have my 6 year old running out into the street, worried that I was leaving him (he's impulsive, and doesn't listen or follow directions). I rarely feel that driving up to the curb and leaving the vehicle is safe anyway because that's not a normal parking space, and thus puts us at higher risk of an accident. And some places we go to don't have the space for it. I'm not going to stop taking my chidren places. Especially since some of those places are where my DS1 gets therapies. And I'm not going to try to find and then afford childcare where my kids would be accepted and treated well. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find caregivers for SN kids? My family can't even handle DS1 without double-teaming! I already avoid going on many errands until the kids are with their father. But, we're not going to lock ourselves in the house just to avoid the possible meltdown and the need to leave the 2 year old in the van to get the 6 year old safely. That would be ridiculous.
post #92 of 102
I am surprised that with all this debate, no one has offered the OP an alternative solution:

Identify a friendly mom in the parking lot who is loading/unloading her kids. Ask her to keep an eye on your kid for a minute while you run inside to get your other child. I do this for other moms all the time when I pick up ds from school - rather than having her lug out the infant seat, ds and I will wait for a minute by her car while she picks up the other kid(s) from school.

Sometimes we forget that it's okay to ask for help. It's also okay to offer it.
Also, these aren't strangers. These are fellow parents in your child's school, you probably know them (even if not by name). You CAN ask for a favor. You can swap favors, take turns, etc.
post #93 of 102
Yes i would be concerned because a 2 year old can be very capable of getting out of their carseat by themselves.lol I know from experience. I was in the car waiting on my DH in a store and DS was throwing a fit and he got very quite when i turned around he was standing up in his carseat that btw was securley tightened. He also knows how to pull it into gear from us letting him play in the truck while we was cleaning it at home in the yard. (it was not running but if it was he would have easily put it into gear!!!) Thats what i would worry about.
post #94 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Super Glue Mommy View Post
but the reality is, child abduction is still a threat, even if its a very very small one. its still possible. and its one of the things that is much less possible if child is in your sight then if child is not in your sight. so that's how I assess risk. while something may not be VERY dangerous, it can still be MORE dangerous (even if only a little) then my other options.
But sometimes the risk involved in the more dangerous option is so low that it should be considered perfectly okay for someone to choose that option. Giving kids baths, for instance, is probably more dangerous than taking them into the shower with an adult. It's always possible for the child to drown, even if you're sitting right there. (What if you suddenly have a heart attack while your kid is in the water?) But I don't think anyone here would try to convince another mother she should stop putting her kids in the bathtub and use a safer option. Using the bathtub might not be the safest possible thing, but it's safe enough. I think under most circumstances it's also safe enough to leave a kid in a locked car for a few minutes.
post #95 of 102
I have left DD in the car for a 2 minute span. never at a public place, only outside my home to run in and get something. Once she was sleeping in her carseat and I left her in and rolled down the windows (it was cool out). I literally sat at the door in my moms salon (it's in her home) and opened the window in the house to hear if she fussed. She was out there for about 45 minutes, I checked on her every 5-10 minutes by going outside to see if she was awake.

I have never done this in the summer, I have always locked the car, and never more than 2 minutes.
post #96 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa1970 View Post
It is dangerous.

There was just an article today about a child getting out of the carseat and leaving the car and getting run over, while the mother just ran back in to the house to grab something. In other cases, car jacking. In other cases, child gets out of car and disappears..or is kidnapped from car. Or he gets out of his seat and manages to put the car in motion.

In most states, it is illegal. And if other parents see it, they will likely think negative things.

Um did she lock the door of the car? I would lock it and not run leave it running and e brake it...
post #97 of 102
It's illegal in most places that I'm aware of.
post #98 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by ginadc View Post
Wow. That's respectful. So at least half a dozen of us on this thread are MORONS, then.

Might I suggest that you could make your point less rudely?

I am sorry,That you feel offended that was not my intention. Please forgive my BAD Choice of words.

Please don't ever leave your child unattended any where not even for a second.

Again i am sorry if anyone was offended. By my poor choice of words
post #99 of 102
I havent read all the replies but I dont do it. First of all, I live in a HOT climate. And second, I live in a high-crime city. Just yesterday a car was stolen with 3 kids in it. Third, if nothing else someone could call the cops thinking you forgot your child. So no. And I hate dragging them into every little stop just as much as the next person. But I still dont do it.
post #100 of 102
From the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children,

http://www.nationalcac.org/families/...rents/NC60.pdf
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