Yep. They're Montessori Kids... - Page 2

[ramama]

nak

I'm going to give it a go. Not sure if I can explain it well. DD1, age 5, is in her third year of Montessori preschool. Her school is about as traditional as it can get in the modern world. I would say that independence isn't taught, but rather it's fostered. Teachers are more like guides than "teachers." Through helping the younger kids, doing chores around the school, learning self-care, DD has become naturally more independent. The biggest factor I can pinpoint is that DD is trusted in her school. She is trusted to handle fragile items. She is trusted to use knives to cut and peel vegetables for soup, trusted to pour her own juice and serve herself snack. I guess what I'm saying is, why would a parent wipe their child's nose for them, get their 5yo dressed, clean up after their child, if not because they don't trust that they will do a good job themselves? In DD's school, kids are trusted to do something well, but they are also allowed to make mistakes. And I think independence follows.

Now, this doesn't mean that my DD is some super-productive child. In fact, she can be shockingly lazy. For instance, the children wash their own dishes after snack, and DD decided that that was too much work and as a result rarely has snacks (snacks are self-serve, there is no "snack time"). This was a choice that DD made herself. There was no teacher saying "If you don't wash your dishes, you don't get snack" *wagging finger*.

I'm probably not making any sense...

[MattBronsil]

Originally Posted by Lisa85

Whether this is the 'official' Montessori approach or just this one author's opinion on the matter, I don't know.

I wouldn't lock my child in a room. Nor would I really suggest it, but each parent does their own thing...so not my place. Just if anyone asked my advice.

For bedtime stuff, I always suggest routine, routine, routine. I remember being young. I'd have dinner, play outside for a while (or inside, but I usually chose outside), come in and take a bath, then it was story time and time for sleep.

[swampangel]

Originally Posted by ramama

I guess what I'm saying is, why would a parent wipe their child's nose for them, get their 5yo dressed, clean up after their child, if not because they don't trust that they will do a good job themselves?

I really like your post, ramama. This made me think about why I might do those things. I think at times, I clean up after my kids because it's quicker, not because I don't trust they'll do a good job. But I think it's also because I haven't really set that expectation that they do it. This is probably something positive that would come out of Montessori for them.

There are times I help my 6yo ds get dressed. He does it himself 99% of the time, but there are those times when I can sense that by my being with him and helping him, it is a nurturing act, yk? It's more of a message of love and caring that I do it when I do. But mostly he does it himself. I guess I think there are times when we do things for one another out of love and caring...not because we think the person is incapable.

But I can see how giving children opportunities to do more for themselves is a good thing.

I've struggled a bit with what I saw in the toddler room at one school I visited. I felt that push for independence was premature. The babies weren't in diapers and were being toilet trained by soiling their clothes. I'm a firm believer in children doing that when they are ready so this totally went against my comfort level.

Ultimately, I don't want to grow my kids up too fast. We're getting that already at our neighborhood school. I want them to love learning. I want them to feel connected to their peers and teachers/guides.

Do folks who have kids in Montessori feel that there is a strong connection between the guides and the children?

[ramama]

I can speak only for DD, but she absolutely adores her teachers, and she is not one to warm up quickly. I mean, loves her teachers. I think that somewhere along the way Montessori teachers got a reputation for being stodgy and cold. Not true, for DD's school at least.

I also wanted to say that DD's school inspires her. She doesn't come home from school, wipe her hands of learning, and veg in front of the TV. She comes home wanting to learn more. That is so very important to me. I made some Montessori materials for use at home because at this and she will come home from school, ready to do more "work." She's naturally curious, so I don't know how much of this is Montessori and how much is her nature, but I think that the fact that Montessori isn't about memorization, isn't repetitive and boring, helps children really enjoy discovering new things and trying new things.

[MattBronsil]

Originally Posted by swampangel

There are times I help my 6yo ds get dressed. He does it himself 99% of the time, but there are those times when I can sense that by my being with him and helping him, it is a nurturing act, yk? It's more of a message of love and caring that I do it when I do. But mostly he does it himself. I guess I think there are times when we do things for one another out of love and caring...not because we think the person is incapable.

That's fine and a different situation (and actually a good thing). What we sometimes do as adults is we stop the child from doing an activity just because it's easier if we do it for them and get it done.

Matt

[swampangel]

Thanks everyone.

Here's what I want for my kids - connection to their teacher and peers, feeling part of a community and fostering a love of learning. Sounds like many of you have found that in Montessori and that very much puts my mind at ease about it. Now we just have to get accepted!