I am so done...

[cheesestick]

I am so tired of wasting my time. I am getting no where, I am alone in my decision not to vaccinate, and I am ridiculed in public for it. I emailed pictures of my dd to my friends, and my very close friend replies with links stating that the autism-vaccine link proved false. Its not all about autism, but no one gets it! I have spend hours upon hours researching the pros and cons of vaccines, and I decided against it, and my friend who reads one article is now all of a sudden an expert on the subject? I am so frustrated, that I just want to crawl in a hole, and cut all contacts with everyone.

Why do people have such a big problem with parents who don't vaccinate? Why am I singled out here? Why do the people who I am suppose to trust turn on me, and tell me how ignorant and foolish I am not to vaccinate?

My friends mother also replied to the email, (just pictures of my dd, can you believe it?) that polio is started to come back in the U.S, and how I need to get my dd vaccinated. By the way, this same friend, has no children. Zero!

I think I need a new set of friends.

I'm so sorry if this post doesn't belong here, but I feel like I was spit in the face. I sent my friends pictures of my beautiful daughter, and this is what I get in return.

[claddaghmom]

Originally Posted by cheesestick

I am so tired of wasting my time. I am getting no where, I am alone in my decision not to vaccinate, and I am ridiculed in public for it. I emailed pictures of my dd to my friends, and my very close friend replies with links stating that the autism-vaccine link proved false. Its not all about autism, but no one gets it! I have spend hours upon hours researching the pros and cons of vaccines, and I decided against it, and my friend who reads one article is now all of a sudden an expert on the subject? I am so frustrated, that I just want to crawl in a hole, and cut all contacts with everyone.

Why do people have such a big problem with parents who don't vaccinate? Why am I singled out here? Why do the people who I am suppose to trust turn on me, and tell me how ignorant and foolish I am not to vaccinate?

My friends mother also replied to the email, (just pictures of my dd, can you believe it?) that polio is started to come back in the U.S, and how I need to get my dd vaccinated. By the way, this same friend, has no children. Zero!

I think I need a new set of friends.

I'm so sorry if this post doesn't belong here, but I feel like I was spit in the face. I sent my friends pictures of my beautiful daughter, and this is what I get in return.

I'm in the club, too.

I actually would love to study the psychosis surrounding the vaccine issue. Normal looking people transform into raving lunatics at the mention of "vaccination." It weirds me out. Even other issues such as spanking, abortion, politics, etc don't get the same reaction.

I had one person telling me over and over again, "The vaccine theory is hard science!" Umm... okay.

[shuttlt]

Even if, for the sake of argument, you are mistaken about all this and the Science is as solid as the evidence for Gravitation, it's still not on for people to make fun of you. I don't think, given where they are coming from, that it is surprising for them to see the debate as silly and amusing, but they need to accept that that isn't where you're coming from. If they are friends worth having it will be possible to broach this with them. If you don't raise the issue of vaccination with them, they should be prepared not to raise it with you.

Just my 2 cents.

[Ophelia]

so sorry. Time to find some like-minded mamas in your area! Have you checked with your local tribe forum, or check to see if there is a local API or natural living yahoo group in your area?

What the heck is your friend's mother talking about with the polio? I never heard that. I think she is pulling it out of her or getting it mixed up with something else.

I've almost sort of gotten to the point where I feel sorry for people who do that (berate you for not vaxing). They are being ignorant, and scaremongered by our gov't and big pharma. Not that it forgives them for berating, but you know what I mean. It's really too bad, a lot of it I believe is because of what media reports (or more importantly, decides what NOT to report). For example, the 2 (or 3?) special court cases recently that were thrown out were ALL OVER the news. Within a month or so, another case was conceded that said MMR DID contribute to the child's autism. Is that in the news? Nope, I looked. Nada, nothing, not a thing. The only one that was in the news was Hannah Poling last year. So our friends/family who dont' research like we do, this is all they see.

[cheesestick]

I raised the issue of vaccination when I was pregnant. I was a new mom, and I needed support about vaccinations. I decided to keep the issue to myself when later all of my friends and family brought the issue up during subsequent visits. The visits usually ended with someone pounding me about vaccinations, and me leaving more frustrated then ever. I never bring up vaccinations unless I'm talking to other mothers who share the same beliefs as me.

We non vaxing parents really need to support one another, because there is no support or compassion in the outside world.

[peainthepod]

It's always difficult to go against the accepted orthodoxy, isn't it? I'm sure people who declined lobotomies and phrenological exams were ridiculed too. I'm sorry your friends aren't more supportive and I hope you'll consider not arguing with or trying to convince them anymore. You can give people access to all the information that helped you make your decision, but you can't make them agree with you.

For what it's worth, I think it's weird (and a little scary) how rabidly angry and judgmental some pro-vaccine people can be. I know where you're coming from and have experienced similar reactions, which is why I just don't talk about it with those people anymore.

[Magali]

Yep, we spend so much time researching vax and decide not to do it and get ridiculed. But a parent who gets their kid vaxxed w/o even knowing what they are vaxxing for, is doing the best possible for their kid .

[MountainMamaGC]

I know its hard mama. I wish we were all neighbors sometimes.

[mommyofemma]

I feel your anger. I feel like no one in my area believes the same way I do. Mainly, my in-laws. Everytime we are around them Im just waiting on some kind of remark about vaccines. All you done was send them a pic of your DD and instead of writing your back telling you how cute she was they wanted to instead tell you what you should be doing in order to "protect" her. I wish people could just respect our decision not to vaccinate and stop lookin at us as people who are trying to harm out children, instead we are trying to protect them. I wish I lived around every mother here on Mothering.com that supports our decision! I don't tell my friends or family who choose to vaccinate that they are stupid and not informed about what they are doing, so I expect the same respect in my decision not to vaccinate.Hugs to you

[WhiteHorse]

I have not even discussed the issue fully with my DH. He would be one of those raving lunatics. I did mention to him I'd like to wait on the mmr, but I am anxious about discussing the whole issue with him because he is the type that thinks chiropractors are witchdoctors. Imagine my surprise when the subject came up with a friend of mine (who has a 6 mo old) she is actually researching vax too, so I do have ONE soul in the same boat thankfully.

[karika]

I feel your isolation. Often times people think they are doing good or what is considered right. They don't even realize they are sheeple. Unless someone you know has actually done the same research we did, they are not qualified to even debate the issue with us. But they don't even debate. They don't feel they have to since all of the known intelligent world believes vaccinations are good and work and necessary. You can take them on when you feel like it, or you can just stop personally responding to them. As for polio, it has recently come to light that the epidemic of history may have been a neurological response to DDT, not even a disease of the type previously thought. No wonder Salk's vaccine appeared to work. I have not studied it much yet, admittedly. I heard of it in the yahoo webgroup, Vaccinations.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/vaccinations

Here is a link I was just found
http://www.westonaprice.org/envtoxin...des_polio.html
Sometimes just telling people what the ingridients are is enough to make them think twice and begin the research

http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pin...nt-table-2.pdf

The link above does not state how the vaccines are produced, which involves use of a cell line generated from one of two aborted fetuses from the 1960's. When I did the research when dd1 was born, I found all that information on cdc website. Much of the reading I have done lately says that vaccines also involve monkey, ape, pig components. I regret not having these links available for you. Maybe they are in a sticky in the forum. I just wanted to let you know that I am with you. We should all band together in a way, but by us being spread out we impact the others moreso perhaps. I have just been living in isolation by choice mostly since dd1 was born. She is 5 now. I was lucky in some ways, because I moved 3000+ miles from my home before I met her father. I did not have a chance to make good friends before I got married and had a baby. We are still in the minority. Now that famous actors and actresses, wealthy individuals and some politicians have seen what is happening, the tide is turning. Take the BPA findings recently made public. Facts about this plastics dangers were already well known and being circulated on these boards and other 'alternative' groups on yahoo almost 6 years ago at least I know of, and now it is mainstream knowledge. All children's items now have to be made some other way. So 'they' are a little behind us. But it will be known by all soon. I have chosen the isolation/ hiding route, but I am very vocal online, spreading seeds this way. However, if I was ever asked, I would talk about it just becasue I am like that and wouldn't be able to help it. my family is so far away. I am not even sure if they realize I am not vaccinating. My sister did extended breastfeeding and cosleeping while they were infants, but I know she got the shots and sees the peds for well visits and illnesses. I am not sure we have ever even talked about it because her children are past the age of vacination anyway and if she didn't want to hear it then we would have had a terrible fight. We have been known to go for a year without speaking more than once. I liken the world we live in today to the movie "The Matrix". Most of the people are asleep, not paying attention to what they are doing. I mean women put bat guano on their faces daily when they use mascara, unless it is from a natural or vegan company.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...4134154AAEOBwB
The ingredients in make up is apalling, and I am guessing doesn't have to be revealed, though it does enter your bloodstream via your pores just like anything you come in contact with. I first found out about the guano when I toured a cave in 1993 and a guide working there told me the same thing they told the poster at the above link, cosmetic companies pick up the guano... People are sleepwalking. Now you are awake. We wake up as many others as we can, and don't let the ones continuing the nightmare bother you too much, they will wake up too. I find strength by coming to this board, a way to know I am not alone, even though I am very alone in physicality.

[Marnica]

Just know you are not alone :
Hang in there and get some new friends!

[Turquesa]

I know. Believe me, I know. It would help if one--just one--of those naysayers who denounce us as negligent parents would step into our shoes and see that we've made these decisions precisely out of concern for children . . . ours and the rest of them. But with people this dogmatic and narrow, empathy just ain't gonna happen. I'm sorry you're going through this. We've learned to be very don't-ask-don't-tell with our vax decisions. But who would expect such horrid reactions from people in the first place?

[Ruthla]

I've always been very private about my kids' vax status. I only discuss it with medical professionals who need the information (and this includes the school nurse) and with select friends who don't vax on schedule or who are at least open to the idea of not vaxing.

IMO, what you need to do now is find some way to let *everybody* know that your kids' vax decisions are NOT up for discussion. Agree to disagree with them, and keep quiet about private medical decisions in the future (family and friends don't need to know your attitude towards treating sick children either.)

[Yulia_R]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I feel so fortunate to live in a neighborhood (a co-housing in progressive Boulder area) where majority of people do not vaccinate.

It also can be an attitude though. I’m so passionate about the subject that when I get to talk to vaxers about it THEY get defensive, forget about attacking me LOL.

[Crazybean]

I can not STAND that argument and it's always in my face. I've learned to keep my mouth shut and vent on here and to DH. Many times I bite my lip knowing that I could say something to defend "my kind" but don't anymore. It's not worth my breath and I honestly believe that those who refuse to hear me won't change their ways so I won't even try. If someone asks and seems interested in both sides, then I will say something. I refuse to have a battle of "who's the better parent" because that is what it always turns into... IMO, the better parent is the one who researches no matter what the final decision is. If you believe in vaccines, fine but I expect that they have done research on it either way!

[Meems]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

I've always been very private about my kids' vax status. I only discuss it with medical professionals who need the information (and this includes the school nurse) and with select friends who don't vax on schedule or who are at least open to the idea of not vaxing.

IMO, what you need to do now is find some way to let *everybody* know that your kids' vax decisions are NOT up for discussion. Agree to disagree with them, and keep quiet about private medical decisions in the future (family and friends don't need to know your attitude towards treating sick children either.)

Ditto.

[knowerofnada]

Awww I am so sorry. I would be so hurt at the lack of response about DD's photo, too. People are so friggin' rude.

What I did with my family is this: I sent them a ton of links, including ones to this forum, to the CDC pink book, and handed them a copy of "Just a Little Prick". And I said, do the same reading I've done, and when you have, please get back with me and we can discuss. Until you've done the reading, I have no interest in discussing. That worked brilliantly, because 99.9% of people are just too damn lazy to bother.

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by cheesestick

I think I need a new set of friends.

I'm so sorry if this post doesn't belong here, but I feel like I was spit in the face. I sent my friends pictures of my beautiful daughter, and this is what I get in return.

yeah, new friends might be in order!

maybe with the next batch, don't talk to them about vax. i usually don't tell people unless it EXPLICITLY comes up. and sometimes even then i ignore it.

[knowerofnada]

Originally Posted by readytobedone

yeah, new friends might be in order!

maybe with the next batch, don't talk to them about vax. i usually don't tell people unless it EXPLICITLY comes up. and sometimes even then i ignore it.

Yeah, no, I don't agree with this at all. I just wrote a long post about this exact idea of "keeping silent" regarding an anti-vax stance in another thread on MDC. Not good.