an @$$hole tonignt. She didn't say it to my face, I yelled at her as I walked out the door for being in my way. I felt so bad about it while I was outside getting something from my car that I had planned on talking to her about it when I got back in. But as I walked in my littlest talker told me that she had called me the A word while I was out. She is not a stranger to swearing. Though my DH has a penchant for using the F word and the S word and A word, as well as a few other choice letters, she had never picked it up when she was younger. I have to preface this with the fact that I have always encouraged her to speak her mind, so now, everything is either "retarded" or "sh!t". Her father is an A-hole, and so are her Sibs. She is so angry and it is killing me. I try to show her and tell her that I care, but I tend to do it in fleeting moments. I know I have to make time for her, but how do I do it w/ out going shopping or buying stuff. I never thought I would be in this position. Ever. But her Dh and I have led her to believe that 1.) (from daddy). buying something means "I love you" and 2.) (from mummy), you can walk all over me. Wait, thats both of us. Not intentionally. Ugh. I think we have created a monster. She is such an angry girl. As well, I think she could be expecting her period soon. I told her that she has too keep a journal from now on, ten minutes every night. She is refusing, I'm oppressing her autonomy, my words. But I am making her do it anyway. Talk to me about the importance of routine, and how to spend quality time w/ her. She hates hiking, I love it. She won't sew, or draw, or write, or paint. Things I like to do. Thats the other thing, I can't figure out what her focus might be. I mean she doesn't have to have one yet, but she has no intersests except for fashion, gymnastics, or Ballet, things I can't really afford right now. I am afraid she is slipping away, I am afraid that it is too late. I let her go to the mall w/ my IL's today. They have LO's that she can help out w/. But I took her cell and she is not allowed to use any of the computers it the house at all. I am so sad. What do I do?
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3/10/09 at 3:07pm