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I need Help!!! - Page 2

post #21 of 42
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SophieU View Post
OMG!

Be thankful for what you have, be thankful everything is OK. So many people don't have second chances.
We have to move on in life no matter what, live the present, learn from the past.

Life is beautiful!!!
Always have been thankful; this has just made me even more thankful! hehe
post #22 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by trueyou2 View Post
The man who had stopped his car; would not look at me, which made me feel even more terrible; because somewhat I knew he had a point; and I would have been cold as well but I told him thank you anyway while I was crying.
I just want to point out that he could have been in shock or just devastated himself by the idea of what could have happened if he hadn't stopped in time. It probably wasn't anger you saw. It was probably also hard for him to witness such emotion coming from you, if he was imagining himself in your shoes. Maybe that's why he couldn't look.
post #23 of 42
post #24 of 42
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lizajane30 View Post
I just want to point out that he could have been in shock or just devastated himself by the idea of what could have happened if he hadn't stopped in time. It probably wasn't anger you saw. It was probably also hard for him to witness such emotion coming from you, if he was imagining himself in your shoes. Maybe that's why he couldn't look.
you know what I never thought that at all. It could be a possibility; thanks for bringing that to my attention; somewhat puts my mind at ease a little more!
post #25 of 42
I put extra locks on the insides of my doors. I have used hook and eye locks in the past. These can only be manually opened inside. They are too high for even my 7 yr old to reach. Even when dh comes home, he has to knock or ring to get in. Of course, if we are not home, the extra locks are not on as there is no one inside to lock them.

This should ease your mind for the future. Your little escapee is likely to try it again.
post #26 of 42
Door alarms are not enough. What if you are going to the bathroom? Running water or vaccuming? Or what if he sneaks out in the middle of the night. The locks should be placed high, so you and your dh have to reach up to unlock them.
post #27 of 42
Oh mama... I have been in a very similar place! Fortunately DS1 didn't go into the street, but distracted, just moved from an apartment to a house, two-year-old, calling 911... the whole bit! Also with the helpful neighbors.

We *immediately* rigged our old baby gate to the front porch railing with zip ties, and that weekend bought a barrel bolt to put high up on the door. (hook-and-eye wasn't an option, because we have a screen/security door made of metal, so we needed something that we could use metal screws with).

DS1, for his part, STILL remembers this and talks about it occasionally. When I saw him, toddling on back (a neighbor had seen him go tearing by and came out, asked him to show where his Mommy was), I was crying, and I told him over and over that Mommy was so scared, so scared when she didn't know where he was.

We don't have any particular need of the bolt anymore for DS1, but I'm really glad we've got it for DS2, who seems far more inclined to test boundaries.

Oh, and, sounds like you've got a good 'un there in your fiance. ;-) Congratulations!
post #28 of 42
I have alarms on all my doors so if someone opens one I hear a loud BONG. It is the greatest thing since sliced bread. I am so sorry this happened to you. Now you know you have a wonderer, definately put a chain up high or something.
post #29 of 42
Happened to me too, when my oldest was 2.5. After that we had an alarm system installed that chimed, and said which door was opened. It made ALL the difference.
post #30 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by MilkbarMom View Post
Happened to me too, when my oldest was 2.5. After that we had an alarm system installed that chimed, and said which door was opened. It made ALL the difference.
Yep, we just went through this situation a few weeks ago with our 2 year old. We installed alarms on the door. They just stick with adhesive, were very inexpensive. I know how you feel mama, I was wrecked with guilt too.
post #31 of 42
My oldest escaped our house when he was 2. Dh and I were both home, and he still managed to get out unseen. It was terrifying. We lived in a neighborhood that had retention ponds, and ds loved going down to them with dh. So my immediate thought was that he had gone down to the water. I had visions of him drowning. When we went out to look for him, I spotted our dog, first. I knew that ds had to be nearby, and he was. He was on top of the foundation that had been laid for a house that was being built(our neighborhood was new and not yet "finished").

I still can't believe that ds didn't go down to the water. We got so lucky.

I bought doorknob covers and those were sufficient at keeping ds inside. He couldn't operate them(and neither could any other person that came to our house, incidently! ).
post #32 of 42
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katerz2u View Post
Yep, we just went through this situation a few weeks ago with our 2 year old. We installed alarms on the door. They just stick with adhesive, were very inexpensive. I know how you feel mama, I was wrecked with guilt too.

As sad as the situation was/is; it makes me feel better to know that there are parents with 2 years old who have done the same thing or almost the same thing! This house is on lock down! lol
post #33 of 42
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JavaJunkie View Post
My oldest escaped our house when he was 2. Dh and I were both home, and he still managed to get out unseen. It was terrifying. We lived in a neighborhood that had retention ponds, and ds loved going down to them with dh. So my immediate thought was that he had gone down to the water. I had visions of him drowning. When we went out to look for him, I spotted our dog, first. I knew that ds had to be nearby, and he was. He was on top of the foundation that had been laid for a house that was being built(our neighborhood was new and not yet "finished").

I still can't believe that ds didn't go down to the water. We got so lucky.

I bought doorknob covers and those were sufficient at keeping ds inside. He couldn't operate them(and neither could any other person that came to our house, incidently! ).

Those doorknob covers are a pain, when I worked at a day care; i've never used them before; so without reading the directions on how to use them; took awhile; well maybe 1 minute but definitely too frustrating for a toddle to keep trying to figure out.
post #34 of 42
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bellejar View Post
I have alarms on all my doors so if someone opens one I hear a loud BONG. It is the greatest thing since sliced bread. I am so sorry this happened to you. Now you know you have a wonderer, definately put a chain up high or something.
Thanks, we're heading out to menard's today to see what else we're going to get!
post #35 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by trueyou2 View Post
Thanks, we're heading out to menard's today to see what else we're going to get!
Try the dollar store. Seriously. That's where I get door alarms. DS has autism so we've been on "lockdown" for years. He started escaping around 2 years old and, at almost 5 1/2, still tries to escape. We have little alarms on all the doors (they have sticky backs so they aren't perm. installed). If the door is opened a loud alarm sounds (and doesn't turn off until the door is shut). We used to get the alarms at Walmart/Target but about 1 1/2 years ago we found them at the dollar store. We decided to try them and they work as well as the more expensive ones (the only difference is that the more expensive ones have a loud alarm option and a chime option. The dollar store ones only have the loud alarm option, which is what we needed anyway).
post #36 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by trueyou2 View Post
I am way ahead of ya! With all the advice I got earlier on here; I got myself an alarm and thinking of some good locks to put on, something my fiance can open by himself because I really don't want to get up every night just to unlock it for him, ya know?


I appreciate everyone's advice and thoughtfulness, that was the most craziest time for me and I hope to never experience anything like that never again!
: I just have locks high up and door knob covers. There is no way ds can escape. I skipped the alarms because I did not want to wake people as well.
post #37 of 42
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen View Post
Try the dollar store. Seriously. That's where I get door alarms. DS has autism so we've been on "lockdown" for years. He started escaping around 2 years old and, at almost 5 1/2, still tries to escape. We have little alarms on all the doors (they have sticky backs so they aren't perm. installed). If the door is opened a loud alarm sounds (and doesn't turn off until the door is shut). We used to get the alarms at Walmart/Target but about 1 1/2 years ago we found them at the dollar store. We decided to try them and they work as well as the more expensive ones (the only difference is that the more expensive ones have a loud alarm option and a chime option. The dollar store ones only have the loud alarm option, which is what we needed anyway).


Will definitely look there as well! Thanks for the advice. I never noticed alarms there before; I usually go there for basic need stuff; toilet paper, cleaning supplies etc.
post #38 of 42
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I feel awful after reading your post. I think it was just a accident and could have happened to anyone. I'm so happy he's okay! It will take some time, but the guilt will pass.

I know it's not the same thing, but I dropped my dd when she was 6 months old, while walking down the stairs. Long story, short - I tripped on a baby gate. Thank God her head landed on a baby wrap that was folded up on the side of the landing and she wasn't hurt. I felt very guilty too and the "what ifs" kept coming to mind. I hugged and held her so close that night thinking about how I was supposed to be the one who would always protect her and I didn't/couldn't. I also thought about how you always think things happen to other people, but that my baby was at risk, too. I have tears in my eyes as I write this. I'm just thankful she was okay.

I realized accidents happen and it is scary that we can't control everything. Also, if my instincts tell me something is unsafe or could be a problem (like that baby gate) then I need to be safe instead of sorry and do something about it. It's amazing how your life can change in the blink of an eye.

I think that moms do little things everyday that could be possible risks but 99 out of 100 times or less nothing happens. Unfortunately, there is still that 1% chance.

post #39 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by maygee View Post
It can happen to ANYONE- tell me one mother who wasn't at some point distracted for two minutes of their child's life. My neighbor across the street was pulling her sweater over her head and her toddler unlatched the front gate and ran into the street- seriously 5 seconds, latched gate, anyone would feel completely safe doing that, but it just happens. I certainly have been more distracted than that and was only lucky that my little one didn't decide to make a break for it then. I can tell by your post that you aren't a bad mother. As far as people judging you by that snippet of your life- if they do, then they're wrong- they have no clue what it really means to have bad things happen to caring loving attentive moms, and feel the need to judge in order to make themselves certain that it couldn't happen to you. I am so so glad your little one is safe. Be gentle with yourself and know that you aren't a bad mom.
This is soooo true.
post #40 of 42
I just posted about a similar situation.

It happens to the best of us.

Im so glad that everything was ok.

Dont beat yourself up about it! s
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