What would you do?

[WhiteHorse]

This may not even apply because my son is already an adult, but since I read the thread about 17 yo dating 21 yo, I had to pose a "poll" of sorts. I have a 19 yo son who is "dating" a 15 yo girl. She lives several hours away and he is at college. He does not travel to see her terribly often and when he does, they hang out mostly at her house and her parents are home. Her parents even drove down with her to meet our family. My son is very committed to staying pure until marriage, although I know hormones can make us break even the strongest vows. I honestly don't think he is sexually active. HOWEVER, sex aside, I am not sure the relationship can be an equal one given the ages of the two. I don't think long-term serious relationships have any place at all when one party is still in high school. This son has a twin brother who is engaged and I think part of the "hurry" to pair up with someone is sort of an unspoken competition. The relationship has been going on for several months now and I have not said a whole lot to him about it. I am happy he is happy, but.... what would you do in this situ?

[BedHead]

I would do nothing except keep the lines of communication open with your son and let him know you're available to talk about anything he wants to. And continue to be happy for him.

[Bell]

I agree with bedhead. I think the age gap is not a problem, it just depends on them and how mature they are. Also, I'd never say somebody is not sexually active. We never know...

[MusicianDad]

I got into a long term, committed relationship when I was 15. It sounds like it's a relationship you don't really need to worry about the relationship. Keep lines of communication open like a pp said.

[Multimomma]

I wouldn't just keep the lines open, I would initiate a lot of conversations with him about equality in relationships, about sex, about protection, about emotions.

Have you read the book 'Everything you never wanted your kids to know about Sex" ? It's really a great book about how to talk with kids...and nineteen is still young enough to need to have input from mom/dad about their relationships.

[*Erin*]

my dh and i began our relationship when i was 14 and he was 16-we're coming up on 16 yrs together in april

i agree with all the pps who have said to keep the lines of communication open, and initiate conversations about intimacy, love, sex, emotions, and CONTRACEPTION, too. the purity intentions sound nice, and good for them if they wait. it doesnt hurt to be informed, too.