Originally Posted by mariekitt24
I guess Im surprised that so many people have the impression my MW is horrible. Granted I complain about her but she is incredibly experienced and really popular with other moms as far as I can tell. She'll talk about how ugly this persons baby was, or how this person is gaining too much weight, or this person is living too unhealthy of a lifestyle and she is considering "dropping" them, but generally I think she is as good a midwife as any, as far as I can tell??
Actually, discussing the ugliness of a client's baby, a client's weight gain, their lifestyle or her decision to drop them... all of that is EXTREMELY unprofessional. She may be the most skilled midwife in the world, but that doesn't make one whit of difference if she can't connect with her clients and keep her mouth shut. And consider this... if she is talking to you about other clients, she's talking about you to the others, too.
Originally Posted by Delicateflower
You need to have someone with you who knows what to do if you start to bleed uncontrollably after the birth. What will your husband do if you pass out and the baby's not breathing? You need to have his support to do this, and if you don't have his and he hasn't done his research too, then I'm sorry, but you're going to need the midwife there.
No, actually, you don't need
a midwife there, unless you feel like you do. What you do need
is to educate yourself. On warning signs, possible complications. What requires interference and what should be left alone. What you can do yourself and what you should call an ambulance for. Supplies to have on hand (like herbs to help with PPH), and the like. There are any number of people who birth solo without any help whatsoever, from midwife, doula or partner.
Ultimately though, if your DH is not the slightest bit supportive, how are you going to handle that? My suggestion would be to consider a hotel room if it's in the budget. That way you are not going into your midwife's space, but you're respecting your DH's need to obey his CO. You and your DH can check into the hotel while you labor and if
at any point you feel like you want your midwife there he can call her. But I would have a discussion with him about calling her before you
are ready... and if you're not ready until baby has already arrived, then so be it.
And I know this all probably sounds a little strange coming from me, but just because I'm studying to be a midwife doesn't mean that I think midwives are necessary for every woman. I'm fully intending to UC with this little bean, because like you, OP, for me labor and birth is an incredibly personal thing... I wouldn't pay someone to watch me and my DH have sex, why do it for labor and birth?