help me stop torturing my DD - Hair

[snoopy5386]

So every single morning my almost 3 year old wakes up with a huge rats nest. When I comb it out there is much screaming, crying and shaking. It is terribly painful for her. How do I make this easier? She won't use a pillow so satin pillowcases are out. So is braiding - she won't let me do anything or put anything (a clip, rubberband, etc) in her hair. What detangling products really work? Please help, it is the worst time of our day, I feel horrible every day!

[Mama Mko]

When you wash her hair, put TONS of conditioner in it and brush it while the conditioner is in it. Then rinse it out. This makes brushing it every morning MUCH easier for us.

Good luck!

[annethcz]

You could also cut her hair. We just had to do this again with my 7yo DD. It was such a struggle to keep her hair brushed and looking good. Last week we cut it into a cute bob, and it is soooo much easier to take care of now. Although I like long hair, I think that a short, well maintained style looks better than long hair that isn't well taken care of.

[ShyDaisi]

There are several detanglers geared towards kids that do work, but I don't know of anything that isn't chemical laden. I'm not sure if that is something that would concern you or not though.

Here is a natural hair detangler recipe that I found by Googling the the term...you may find some other homemade or less chemical filled ones by doing that. I have had experience with the ones like Suave that you get in WalMart, but no tried and true more natural recipes.

Here is another one....

And here is an MDC thread for 'natural hair detangler'....

Good luck!

[SAHDS]

If it's painful, unsightly, a struggle and is never styled, why don't you just cut it?

[Red Sonja]

I'm in a similar spot with DD1, who is 2.5 I cut it into a bob but it still gets a horrible rat's nest in the back every night, though not quite as bad as it was before. She has made it clear she doesn't want it cut shorter, though.

[honeybunmom]

I use a leave in conditioner. My dd's hair is quite long and curly. She's had enough hair to style since before she was a year old, so, I guess I got her in the habit early of having it done. I don't let her wear it out because 1) being AA with hair that doesn't do that, it was not my experience growing up and 2) it would make our mornings unbearable to have to comb through those knots every day!

So, for morning do's, I have a spray bottle consisting of a little bit of that same leave in conditioner (California Baby) and water. I spray her hair until it's pretty damp and comb from the ends up. If you comb from the top down, it'll catch more snags. You'll have to hold her hair to keep from putting the stress (and pain) on her roots/scalp as you comb. Also, I use a wide toothed comb first to get out the major tangles, and then switch to a fine toothed comb once the tangles are out.

[JollyGG]

We use tons of conditioner at bath time. We comb it out while it's wet adding more leave in conditioner if it's hard to comb. We comb from the ends to the scalp. Then in the morning we brush it out with a natural boar bristle brush. The boar bristle brush seems to help alot.

My DD hair is not long but sleeping at night still causes it to become a snarly mess. So while cutting the hair may make it easier it won't solve it.

[Dr.Worm]

I hear ya..my dd, 9, has beautiful long thick hair that gets horribly tangled..detangling sprays and shampoos/conditioner don't work and she won't let me put it in a loose braid before bed. She freaks out when I encourage a nice haircut, like I say, not as short as a boy, maybe a nice bob like your friend but no, she will only agree to a trim.

[pranamama]

I've thinned out hair and cut knots out before. One of my dd seems to rub her head on the back of the car seat and grow knots quickly, so I have basically layered her hair in the problem spots and have no more problems now. The lenght is still there, just less volume.

[LuckyMommaToo]

My DD is only two, but has extremely curly, thinnish hair. I took her to my stylist, and she thinned it out a lot. People couldn't even tell she'd had a cut, but it made it easier to comb. It's still a struggle for sure, though. And I swear we've tried all the products out there.

INteresting about the boar bristle brush. I'll have to look into that.
-e

[Tilia]

My DD's hair is so thin that it tangles easily for some reason. I keep it trimmed often. I also condition it during each bath. Then, I have her comb it each morning.

[choli]

I had this problem with both DDs when they were small. I ended up having to give an ultimatum - braids at night or shorter haircut. I couldn't bear the morning hairbrushing misery any longer. They both chose braids over hair cut, though they'd refused braids before the ultimatum.

[lolar2]

Originally Posted by choli

I had this problem with both DDs when they were small. I ended up having to give an ultimatum - braids at night or shorter haircut. I couldn't bear the morning hairbrushing misery any longer. They both chose braids over hair cut, though they'd refused braids before the ultimatum.

I have that kind of hair, too, and that's what I do! Currently I have the shorter haircut, but I used to braid it at night sometimes when it was longer.

[4Marmalade]

Is she willing to cut it? I always wanted my dd to have long hair and no bangs. Around 3 years of age we started to really struggle with brushing it. It is very fine and tangles very easily. Finally I realized I was growing her hair for me and when given the option dd chose to get her hair cut short to avoid the brushing. So we got her a chin length bob cut with bangs and she looks adorable. Now the tangles are kept to a minimum. She's almost 4 now and has been telling me she wants to grow out her bangs so I'll guess we'll see.

[snoopy5386]

thanks everyone - conditioner in the bath we already do that. It is very easy to comb after bath and not painful at all, just in the morning, it doesn't seem to matter if she had a bath the night before or not.

cutting it - not really an option, it isn't super long to begin with (not even long enough to braid really), she loves her hair, and the tangles happen up close to her scalp anyways, I don't think cutting it would make a difference.

Her hair isn't really thick, it is straight not curly and once it is combed it is fine, it looks great, everyone loves her hair and is always commenting on it.

I am ok with commercial detanglers, I just need to find one that works! I will look into the boar bristle brush too.

[Dr.Worm]

Originally Posted by choli

I had this problem with both DDs when they were small. I ended up having to give an ultimatum - braids at night or shorter haircut. I couldn't bear the morning hairbrushing misery any longer. They both chose braids over hair cut, though they'd refused braids before the ultimatum.

HMMM..sounds good to me!

[reader18]

I've used the L'oreal Kids Detangler on my DD's fine, knotty hair.

I also started using a wide tooth comb, starting at the bottom and working my way up, and then using a fine tooth comb once the bigger stuff is taken care of.

[nolansmummy]

We use suave's kid detangler spray on dry hair that needs detangled. In the bath we use a conditioning shampoo, and then we apply conditioner and comb it, then rinse it out. After bath we use a leave in conditioner. Even still she often ends up with a rats nest in the a.m. She is a crazy sleeper

[pigpokey]

My daughter's hair is also straight and not too thick.

Still I have much fewer tangles if I never use shampoo and always oil it well before she goes in a chlorine pool. To get the excess oil out I use a soap like Dr. Bronner's.

If someone strips it with a detergent (shampoo) it will mat up.