I need help deciding (home birth vs hospital)

[2NovBabes]

Please forgive me if this isnt where i should post this...
My name is Lindsay and I just found out I'm pregnant with my 2nd baby, due mid November. I'm 24 years old and I have a 16 month old son who I'm still nursing as well. With my first son, I had an OB and a hospital birth. I was a bit more mainstream back then (I didn't even know about mothering.com) but I wanted to have a more natural birth (as in, no drugs); however, I was tired and scared and the staff talked me into pitocin, which brought on such painful contractions, then Nubain, then finally an epidural. Luckily I had no complications, I ended up with a 12 hour labor and a vaginal birth, no problems for either baby or me. I was given antibiotics in my IV due to a ventricular septal defect (VSD) in my heart, but I'm not sure if this is necessary or not. We started off with a great nursing relationship and are still going strong. I went into the hospital with a birth plan, but many things were not followed (I was not allowed to eat, I was not allowed to walk around, I was pretty much strapped to the bed on my back with an IV from the time I arrived until the baby was born, I had also wanted to wait for the cord to stop pulsating, forego the eye goo & vit K injection, etc.). They also begged us to get the Hep B vaccine at least 3 times, and at least we got out of the hospital without that (still vax free).

Anyway, after my hospital birth experience, I was lucky to come home with a happy healthy little boy and have a very quick recovery, but I felt there were many things I'd want to change if I ever got pregnant again. So here I am, and I'm considering my options again. I know I don't want another OB, I'd rather have a midwife. I would also not go to the same hospital; there are a couple hospital options near where I live that are more friendly to natural births and have birthing tubs, etc. So I think it would be great to have a more natural birth with a midwife at one of those hospitals, or, alternatively, to birth at home with a midwife. I'm not sure which option is best for me; cost-wise they are pretty close as I have a $4000 deductible for my insurance and I've heard the cost for a home birth is about that (but I'll have to look into that). I watched The Business of Being Born and Pregnant in America and felt that home birth is a great option for me. But then again, I remember i did actually feel such relief with the epidural that I had - it felt great and I had no pain after that, and I got it pretty late in the labor so it didn't slow things down or cause any problems. I do know that it is not the best thing for the baby, however, so ideally I wouldn't get one. Labor was so painful toward the end for me, but I am hoping that contractions that are not induced with pitocin should be a little less painful - anyone know about that? I'm afraid that I might go into one of those hospitals and have a water birth in mind, but if I end up getting an epidural (because when you are so deep into labor I think everyone feels like they just can't do it and want to get some relief), I would be disappointed not to have a natural birth experience again. If I'm at home I don't really have that option...and I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Anyway, I am just wondering if anyone has any suggestions about what to do, or birth experiences to help me decide, or any other information that I might want to keep in mind in regards to this. I'm about 5 weeks along so I should probably start trying to make an appointment soon and start planning.

Thanks in advance for all your help and insight!

[JJ'sMom]

I saw your post and could not not reply. I think it is a great idea to look into getting a midwife and seeing if you are comfortable with her and her cost.

Once that is out of the way, you can ask her if she can do hospital births and home births as you are undecided at this time. If she can do both locations, then choose the midwife as midwifes are best(I am biased!!).

If she can only do a home birth: Any drug induced labor is far more intense/painful that a natural labor. Being denied food and movement will intensify the labor pain too. That being said, for some women, birthing can really hurt, or it can feel great, empowering, and wonderful. I suspect that a natural labor at home will be manageable,and the option of a hospital transfer is always there, if needed or desired.

Check with "finding your tribe" too and talk to women in the area who have had a midwife.

[Beccadoula]

Wow...you have a huge choice in front of you. I don't think anyone can really tell you what you should do, no one else is going to have to live with the outcome of your choice. My recommendation is that you meet some home birth midwives, meet some of the hospital/birth center midwives...and go with the one who you personally connect with the best. Some midwives are just about the same as an OB...in the way they practice medicine. You need to get to know who ever you choose, and feel really comfortable with them. This way, you know from the start that you're working with someone who's on the same page as you. There are risks to the epidural, and that is no small thing...but it is still your own choice. If the end part of labor is a fear of yours then you might want to consider getting a doula who can walk you through that last part and prepare you for how to push well...all that kind of thing. Aside from that, here are some great websites that might help you make up your mind.

http://www.birthingnaturally.net/
http://www.givingbirthnaturally.com/
http://www.hkjpaed.org/johnson/Touch...ancy/index.htm
http://www.waterbirth.org/mc/page.do

Best wishes!
-Rebecca

[murphysaangel]

Wow, that's a big decision and luckily a lot of people on here have probably gone through the same thing! I think the BEST thing do do is to keep doing what you're doing - do the research, talk to as many people as you can, and start interviewing providers in your area. There's a ton of threads on here about what books you can read, I'd like to personally recommend "The Home Birth Advantage" by Meyer Einstein. There's also a lot of birth stories on here you can rad through, and imagine which of them fits your idea of your best birth too. Good luck!

[meganmarie]

I think I hear in your post that you are leaning to a home birth - in your assessment, the cost is the same and with homebirth you get the ability to labor freely and have the birth you want. If the only thing that is making you hesitate from choosing a homebirth is fear of not being able to handle the pain, I would not let that stop you from pursuing your preferences.

I absolutely believe that natural contractions experienced in your own home, where you can move as you wish, will be totally different from pitocin contractions when you are strapped to a bed! And in your own home, you can definitely use a shower or tub to help ease the pain, as you mention wanting to do (in a hospital, even if they have a tub sometimes there are restrictions in using it - it may work out great, it may not).

And, while I don't think you will need it (because your midwife will likely help support you through labor and get you through it great), if it came right down to it and for some reason an epidural was really needed (I'm thinking of extreme cases like prolonged back labor or maternal exhaustion) transferring to the hospital for an epidural does happen. In fact, you can always do a hospital transfer for *any* reason. That option doesn't completely go away when you choose homebirth.

Good luck with your decision and congrats on your pregnancy -