Cesarean support circle V (December 12) - Page 6

[Henry's_Mamma]

I never quite thought about it that way. Mothering is what is important. It is how I take this amazing gift and mold it that matters. Even dh said to me last night when I was feeling particularly blah about the birth (I have my moments), the birth doesn't matter b/c you are still in one piece and we have a beautiful child. So what if you didn't get the birth you wanted -- you got the end result (wanted desperately) and that's all that matters. I was annoyed at him at the time for saying that (and not understanding what the whole birth experience means/meant to me), but deep down I know he's right. I have an amazing child who I can't imagine life without. Now its up to me as his mother to make sure that he becomes a passionate and compassionate person -- now that's empowering!

I guess I put so much pressure on myself to have a natural birth that I hadn't really prepared for anything else. I knew the risks, I knew there was always the possibility of a c/s, but it never really entered my mind that it would happen to me. This, despite the fact that I had written in my birth plan about what I wanted to happen if a c/s happened -- not that anyone followed my birth plan. But that's a whole other post. (I didn't see ds for 4 hours after his birth for absolutely no valid reason and then we struggled for over a week to get him to bf. It was awful.) I think, maybe, all the things that happened after ds's birth have also influenced my feelings. I guess I feel that I would've had more control over everything had I had a v/b. But who knows. All I know is that I will NEVER have another child in the hospital I gave birth in as it has to be the most mother-child unfriendly place on the planet (despite rave reviews from many friends). But I won't go there either.

Thanks for letting me vent it out. It is really helpful to talk it through with other moms who have been there.

[KKmama]

Amy, have you ever considered that the "challenge" you faced at the very beginning steeled your resolve and increased your desire to be the best mama you can be? I mean that we faced something difficult and unexpected early on, and it really made us determined in other areas? I believe that's part of what is behind my parenting. (Esp. with bf'ing... my attitude was, "Okay, I didn't have control over the birth, but I WILL MAKE THIS HAPPEN.")

And yeah, I think one of the best contributions I can make to the world is one (or more) sensitive, compassionate young man. (So far, so good. )

[OnTheFence]

Bumping this to the top again. Dont want our thread to get lost. Any update on Jess? IOF -- what is going on with you?
Let's get updates on your pregnant or birthing gals!

I am starting to get that baby urge again. My husband is up for a new job and if he gets it, I am thinking summer. I am starting a diet plan tomorrow and begin exercising again. I need to get healthy. I also need to find a new OB. I have one in mind that some crunchy mamas I know like. He just joined with the group my old OB is in, so it might be a good transition for me. I just will need to see if he is on the same page with me about csections and pregnancy. I am thinking since he is a all for natural childbirth, he may even consider a VBA2C. Not that I am sold on that but if everything was aligned just right I would consider a TOL.

Kim

[its_our_family]

We haven't heard from jess yet. She was supposed to be home yesterday if everything went well.

As for me...I have decided that if this baby isn't going to come until thursday I should be allowed to be contraction free! But my body doesn't seem to see it my way! I am having the MOST intense contractions I have had yet. They are very similar to about the 10th hour of pitocin : They only organize for about 2 horus at a time and then take a break for a couple hours and then start up again. If they would organize for 4 or more hours I would go in now.

I'm kinda nervous because baby seems to staying transverse. Since I'm planning on the c/b on thursday I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about if my water breaks. Are there any dangers to the baby??

[OnTheFence]

Yes, IOF there are risks if your water breaks and your baby is transverse. If this happens go to the hospital immediately. This is something that scares me because my husband lost a sibling to prolapse cord. My very good friend had to have a csection due to prolapse cord last August.
I guess your baby has decided he/she doesnt want to come out the vagina, they were head down, inched out of the way and now transverse. He has a condo in there to move like that! When is your next OB appointment?

Kim

[Peppermint]

Ladies- I don't have long right now, but wanted to let you know that Sean arrived safely at 8:06 am on the 23rd, I will likely only post my whole birth story here- but for now- I'll just thank God again that He brought us through safely, as w/o this c-section, things would've been disasterous. I will post more later- but wanted to thank you ladies again for the continued support, and let you know about my sweet new boy

[its_our_family]

I have enough room for a condo! Yeah, I'm jsut really curious as to why he doesn't want to drop/engage/ and everything else...or more importantly why he changed his mind.

I'm starting to have pretty serious contrax but not regular. They are pulling really odd inside though. They seem to be only half of my uterus or tighter on one side than the other.

I don't have another ob appt until the c/b on Thursday. I wonder if I should call and ask to talk to my ob....

Jess--congrats again on Sean! I'm interested to hear your story!!

[Henry's_Mamma]

KKmama ... you may be right. It was SO hard to get started with bfing. I know its not always easy, but ds didn't latch on until his 6 day of life -- I was pumping and bottlefeeding and supplementing (due to the jaundice he was dehydrated and I just couldn't pump enough to hydrate him). I was so afraid it would never work and it would be another "failure," but at the same time, I was bound and determined that it WOULD work. And then it just happened and we've been going strong since. I can't imagine NOT bfing him -- that just would feel so awful to me. And now I've done all these "crunchy" things that I never dreamed I'd do (co-sleeping among them), and I feel so amazed at this incredible bond between my son and me b/c of that. Even when dh is holding him he always looks to see where I am. It is so amazing. I can't wait to watch his personality unfold and help him be the best man he can be.

I'm interested in hearing all the new birth stories as well.

[OnTheFence]

Originally posted by jess7396
Ladies- I don't have long right now, but wanted to let you know that Sean arrived safely at 8:06 am on the 23rd, I will likely only post my whole birth story here- but for now- I'll just thank God again that He brought us through safely, as w/o this c-section, things would've been disasterous. I will post more later- but wanted to thank you ladies again for the continued support, and let you know about my sweet new boy

Congrats Jess on Seans birth. I anticipate reading your birth story. Seems you had some intersting things happen! I am glad all of you are fine and that you were able to post.

We've been thinking about you!

Kim

[OnTheFence]

Originally posted by its_our_family
I have enough room for a condo! Yeah, I'm jsut really curious as to why he doesn't want to drop/engage/ and everything else...or more importantly why he changed his mind.

I'm starting to have pretty serious contrax but not regular. They are pulling really odd inside though. They seem to be only half of my uterus or tighter on one side than the other.

I don't have another ob appt until the c/b on Thursday. I wonder if I should call and ask to talk to my ob....

Jess--congrats again on Sean! I'm interested to hear your story!!

I would. I swear IOF you soulnd like you might have a uterine deformity. That is the way I have contractions, yet I never dilate! I contracted with Jack from about 14 weeks on. My daughter was transverse and it was really weird. Jack was head down but in some cockeyed way and his shoulder presented against the cervix. He had been stuck like that for about 6-7 weeks. It was really weird. They had to pry him out, and ended up having to use a vacuum. (I chose that by the way)
I might would schedule an appointment to talk with your OB, let them check you out and even get a NST strip. Its not going to hurt to see how baby is handling those contractions.

Kim

[its_our_family]

OTF...dh and I had discussed that possibility too. It would make sense. We figured if it were a pelvic problem (bone structure related) that our chiro might be about to tell...that and I had xrays done last march... But who knows about a uterine thing. It really woudn't surprise me!

[Peppermint]

OK, here's my story, or at least what I can get through at this moment while everyone sleeps

I was nervous as you all know, but got more nervous as more and more people came in to intorduce themselves as people who would be in my surgery: The people were not "nice", not mean or anything, but I really could've used some more friendly people. Anywho my OB showed up and she was great as usual.

The spinal took a lot longer than I remembered it taking before, but it took just fine. They had trouble getting Sean out of me and had to use the vaccuum and lots of pushing on me, etc. I did get nauseous and headachey- but the anesthesiologist gave something to fix that. All was ok, Sean and I were both doing fine, surgery was over- then I asked my OB as she wheeled me into the recovery room "so, how do things look in there?" and she said, "not good, you are ok now, but your uterus had begun to rupture and there is a lot of scarring- we can talk about this later though- go rest and enjoy the baby", I said, "ok, just tell me, can I have more kids?", and she said, "I didn't take your uterus, if that is what you mean, but you cannot safely have any more children- we will talk about it next week- just be glad you are ok now- if you had gone into labor, that rupture would've been disasterous" (I heard her talking to the other surgeon during the birth and heard her say that my previous OB had used a single layer suture and that that was the problem).

Anywho- the bottom line is that I have 3 healthy children, and I have survived it all myself- we are all completely healthy, and I would'nt be here saying that if it weren't for c-section births, and listening to my instincts and a slew of OBs that a lot of people might've ignored and given birth at home-which would be their choice- but I am glad that I listened and am continuing to listen to my OB's advice.

This birth gave me peace with all my c-sections (births ), and I know I have made all the right choices for my babies and myself- I am glad that I always "knew" what I needed to do, and went with that.

What I want people to hear from my story is that you have to listen to your instincts and I believe that God (nature, what-have-you)will let you know what is best for you in birthing your baby. Also- even an un-perfect c-birth is SO very well worth it- I realized that even though I had hoped this c-birth would be a great experience in and of itself- I needed to take the great from it- I made it through what I needed to to have my beautiful healthy son. On the medical side- for those VBAC-ing- please do not ignore any strong pains that you have along what you think is your incision- I had the pain last week (I mentioned it here), and it was the baby's position- but his position was actually starting the rupture at that point- so see your OB if you feel sharp pains along the incision line- I don't know if they could've done an U/S or something- but I do know I was very lucky-since I ignored what I should've taken seriously.

Just want to re-iterate- I have a beautiful, healthy, nursing like champ (no problems with the c-birth and nursing this little man) son and I am so very thankful that he made it here

[OnTheFence]

Originally posted by its_our_family
OTF...dh and I had discussed that possibility too. It would make sense. We figured if it were a pelvic problem (bone structure related) that our chiro might be about to tell...that and I had xrays done last march... But who knows about a uterine thing. It really woudn't surprise me!

Don't you have a history of miscarriage? I do. I never knew why until after my daughter was born. If you do have a section ask the doctor if your uterus looks "right". Sometimes its hard to tell after its been stretch though.

Kim

[OnTheFence]

Jess,

Thank you for sharing your story. I am so scared of rupture because my uterus is deformed as it is. I hope to have one more but I often wonder if I am trying my luck. I know that my doctor did a lot of repair work and really stitched me up good knowing I wanted at least one more.

I often wonder how many uterus are on the verge of rupture but because so many of us are repeat csections, avoid it because we do not go into hard labor, etc etc etc. You are not the first woman to tell me that the uterus was in bad shape when they opened them up. My sister who was an OB nurse said she saw it many times, enough times to think people should VBAC in hospitals.

And your message is right on. We must follow our instincts. Listen to our guts and our babies.

{{{HUGS}}}

Now where are the pictures!

Kim

[its_our_family]

OTF--Yes, I've had 2 m/c that I know of. We suspect there may have been one or 2 more but don't know for sure. I'll ask my ob about it when I see her thursday morning (if I can remember )

Jess--Thank you so much for telling your story! I go see my chiro today and tell him that I've chosen a repeat as opposed to vbac. I'm starting to believe that the main reason I have been so noncommital about it is because my body is telling my otherwise. I think there is a reason this kid is not settling in and a reason my contractions do nothing. This is the very reason I did not want to vbac at home. If I had vbac'ed at the hospital once and this was baby 3 or 4 I would consider being home but not the first time!

As for the incision pain you were talking about... was it on one side or along the whole incision? The place where I seem to get pain (it isnt constant either) is right where I believe the babes head to be. I don't kow if I was closed with a single suture or not. It was a resident that did the stitching up (it was a teaching hospital and I didn't know my ob wasn't doing the birth) so I don't know what he did.

[KKmama]

Jess, congrats on the baby, the birth, and everything!

I really appreciate your sharing your story. And I'm *so* glad that everything turned out okay--that you and Sean are fine. I'm sorry that your uterus was a mess, though, and that you can't have more babies...

I'm also really appreciative of your frankness about when to worry about the scar. I know that some C/B women feel pain around their scars (I haven't at all, knock on wood), and I was going to post a question asking if it was normal, if I should expect, dismiss it, etc. (I'd rather discuss it here, though.)

[its_our_family]

Originally posted by Hilary
She was somewhat bruised by the massive roll-over. This was a baby that was nearly 10 pounds....

Not sure if this babe is 10 pounds or not but I am SOOO sore the day after he flips! It feels like my sides are going to burst open. Plus it is next to impossible to sleep because he gets mad if he is transverse and you lay down. I'm either feeling fingers from laying on his head or toes from pushing on his butt!

[Peppermint]

The incision pain- it was on my right side (the first time I got it, we thought I might be passing a kindey stone -that was on Christmas day), it went away and I was pretty sure that it was just the position he was in and said to my dh and my mom that it felt like he was pushing against my scar- we all figured that was normal (and I had some similar pain- though not as bad- during my second pregnancy which had no problems). Anywho- when I had the pain last week, it was a very sharp pain (I could not walk with it) and it was on my lower right side- it did go away when I coaxed the baby to move- but I assume that is when the damage was done. I also, wholeheartedly believe my OB that true labor contractions would've ripped me open.

I thought about not posting my story in fear of making people afraid to VBAC, which I do beleive to be a good thing, but if you are really questioning it- listen to your instincts, that's the best I can say, YK? I just would hate to hear that someone went through a rupture when something I could've said might've prevented it, YK? I don't want to scare anyone, I just don't know where I'd be right now if the worst had happened (remember my original plan was to labor first).

[KKmama]

I think information is power... it's much better to know about others' experiences and what to watch for than to blunder along in ignorance (and possible danger). I think everyone here is very much in favor of healthy moms and babies...

I know what you mean about listening to your instincts, though. I did a lot of thinking and reading at the end with ds, because I felt like something just wasn't "right". I wasn't afraid, but I had a feeling things weren't going to go the way I wanted and that I'd better be prepared. It's still early with this one, but I have such a strong sense that it's going to be different (and better).

I finally got an interview set up with a doula who's also a massage therapist. She was very positive about my drs. group... she said she likes them and that it's really the only practice left in town doing VBACs (and that she's done 40-50 births with them) and that they do more than the others in the first place to avoid cesareans (hence their much lower rate). I really hope she's the "one"... I'd love to have a MT be my doula, however this thing goes.

[its_our_family]

Quite around here lately.....

Tomorrow is the big day!!! My c/b is scheduled for 7:30am!

Any last minute advice about having a repeat? I am SOOOO excited!!!! Even though I feel good and this kid could stay put. It doesn't feel like I should be 9 months pg. I did, however start to swell. With ds it started at about 30 weeks. This tim eno swelling till 39 weeks! Maybe that is why I feel so good?!?!