Have you ever said anything to someone using a "Hooter Hider"?

[threadbey]

I had a friend and her hubby and their 5 month old visit our house the other day and I didn't even know whether she breastfed or not, I noticed a bottle in the diaper bag when they arrived. Then later baby was a little fussy and she asked if I "minded" if she breastfed (or something similar, that was the basic impression I got). Of course not! Then she pulled out one of those apron things with the built-in stiff "loop" so you can "see and bond with baby" and had it mostly on when I said, "You don't have to use that if you don't want to, I really don't mind." She said, oh, well, it's already on.

I guess... I'm ok with people using those things (they're called hooter hiders, right?) in public places if it makes them more comfortable (although it ticks me off a little because *I* don't want to use one and I don't really like others doing it and making it seem like it's necessary, kwim?) but I'm a little disturbed that a friend felt she needed one in my own house (there was no one else there, I don't think DH had even come home yet). Obviously, I'm not going to make a huge deal out of this with a friend, I want her to feel comfortable, but... it just feels weird.

Have you ever said anything to someone using one of those things?

ETA: I hope this is the right forum for this question, it seemed a little out of place in just plain breastfeeding.

[annettemarie]

No. I figure it's their choice, just like it's my choice not to.

[threadbey]

That's simple. I guess I just feel like a lot of people probably use them not really because it's their personal choice but because they think it's expected?

[Asher]

No, I never have. I am just glad to see someone breastfeeding, regardless of what they need to do to make themselves comfortable doing so.

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by threadbey

That's simple. I guess I just feel like a lot of people probably use them not really because it's their personal choice but because they think it's expected?

If I got the feeling someone was being coerced--like I saw someone hand them a blanket--then I might say something. Or if it somehow came up in conversation, maybe. But generally, I go with the assumption that people have made their own intelligent decisions.

Turning it around, I'd be mightily annoyed if someone assumed I didn't know any better than to nurse uncovered and attempted to educate me on the existence of Hooter Hiders.

[mama516/419]

My DH and I talked alot about BF while I was PG with DD and when she finialy learned to BF at 2 months my very modest husband would get nervoice if I nursed her in frount of his friends and stuff so we got a Hooters Hider just for when they were around . But he got used to it really quickly and I stopped using it cuz DD got distracted by it . I dont like them but Id rather them then a Bathroom nursing session . Someone told me they liked theres cuz it kept thier baby focused.
Peace

[dogmom327]

Nope. Like someone else said, it's her choice and it may make her more comfortable. Some people are just very modest (I'm not). Of course if I thought she was doing it for my benefit I might make a funny comment or something to let her know I didn't mind without making her feel bad.

[tjjazzy]

i hate having my belly hang out in front of everyone (i don't really like having my boobs out that much either. i never wear cleavage revealing stuff if i can avoid it. i guess i'm too modest?) and can't really afford a bunch of nursing tops. however, my LO usually won't allow me to put anything over him so i just find another room or nurse before i leave home generally. i have shown quite a bit to friends and family though. i'm curious, what's so wrong with wanting to cover up a little?
also, i think we should just let people bf any way they want to, as long as they're doing it! that's what's important

[threadbey]

Yeah, I'll try to swallow whatever feeling I had about it, I guess. I think it's mostly that I just never ever thought someone I knew would feel they needed to cover up in my house. I think part of my discomfort is that had I ever visited their house while DS was still nursing (we weren't in contact then) it wouldn't have crossed my mind to ask or cover or go anywhere. I BF'd everywhere in front of everyone (I did think I was being reasonably modest, I am a somewhat modest person) and now I'm a little worried some people I know might have felt I was being exhibitionist or something.

[annettemarie]

Honestly, I don't think you did anything wrong. I mean, it was just an off-handed comment, right? And she said she was fine. So, no harm, no foul. And maybe next time she won't take it out.

FWIW, I don't ask permission to nurse in someone else's presence or home, nor do I cover up. I wouldn't let someone else's choice to do those things affect my decisions though.

[herbanmama]

I wouldn't say anything, but it's funny that you bring it up. I was visiting a friend the other day at her home, and she busted one out to nurse her baby. I thought that it was rather odd as it was her own home, she knows I'm very pro NIP, and I used to visit while she nursed her older son without the 'hooter hider'. I didn't understand, but didn't question. I guess she just really likes the thing.

[Contrariety]

I lovingly tell my sister how stupid I think hers is. She's alright nursing around me but uses it in the mother's lounge or at our parents' house. I'd tell friends it wasn't necessary around me if they didn't want to, but certainly wouldn't say a word to a stranger.

I hated feeling obligated to try and cover up especially when we were still new at it. It took a few moths for me to be comfortable enough just doing the darn thing, not to mention be discreet. If I had been wrestling with one of those dumb things, I might be happy my friend told me not to worry about it.

[limabean]

I'm all for people using nursing covers if that helps them feel more comfortable, but I don't see anything wrong with saying something like you did, just letting her know that she didn't need to cover on your account. It's not like you belittled her choice or anything.

[slinginhipmama]

I saw a mama out at a theme-park with one on...she wanted to hide the fact that she was nursing her LO but was ok with people knowing that she was drinking a beer! I was a bit taken back when I saw that the beer bottle was hers.....

[KimberlyD0]

Personally I wouldn't say anything to someone using one. For some its just more comfortable. If it was my home I might say what you did but leave it at that.

I used one untill DD was about 12 weeks old and I got the hang of it.

[JuniperMama]

I have a friend who uses one. She is in incredibly modest and even uses it in her own home. I think its about her comfort not her concern of other's judgment.

In my case, I'm currently PG with #2. I didn't use one with DS. I am thinking of getting one for this babe because by the time DS was 5 months, I had to retreat to dark/quiet places to nurse or he flat wouldn't do it. So much for proudly NIP. Very frustrating. So, I'm thinking of getting one for this babe so that I'll be able to nurse effectively while out and about. Not a modesty thing, just a reality of distractable baby thing.

(although I must admit, covering the belly appeals to me a bit too : )

[lifeguard]

In the situation op describes I would do the same but in pretty much any other situation I wouldn't say anything.

[TopHat]

A little OT, but on Wednesday, our Church playgroup was at my house. They all know I'm a lactivist (Facebook thing), but yet one lady brought bottles of pumped milk for her little one. I know she uses them because she's uncomfortable with BFing in public. I didn't say anything, but really, I don't care if she breastfeeds in my house. She can take her whole shirt off and lie down on my bed if she'd like. Oh well.

[Maela]

Originally Posted by lifeguard

In the situation op describes I would do the same but in pretty much any other situation I wouldn't say anything.

this exactly

[nerdymom]

I agree with pp, I'd let a friend know that I didn't mind (as if they dont already know, since I nurse uncovered everywhere), but leave it at that. Personally I think they look kinda silly, but I think it's a GREAT thing for someone who maybe feels a little selfconcious and the cover gives them the security to nurse wherever whenever.

I know a mom who uses her sling to cover, but her baby gets easily distracted. She does it to keep baby focused on eating. Sometimes I wish Jack would tolerate something on his head. It'd make nip quicker at times.