Have you ever said anything to someone using a "Hooter Hider"? - Page 3

[Ruthla]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

No. I figure it's their choice, just like it's my choice not to.

:

When I was nursing, my friends saw me nurse without a cover so they knew my attitude towards them. Now that my kids are all weaned, I'll only mention my own BFing experiences if the topic comes up- sometimes the mama just nurses her baby and we all talk about other stuff and nursing never comes up in conversation.

Lately, I've most often encountered nursing babies is at homeschool events- where most of the moms nurse cover-free, and one or two of the moms use covers. Those moms are well aware that others nurse without covers and know it's an option but choose to use a cover anyway.

I've never personally encountered a woman who felt she "had to" use a nursing cover to NIP, or panicked about "oh, no, I don't have my cover so I'll have to use a bottle." The cover-users I've met simply felt more comfortable nursing that way. :

tayandrewsmama- "Hooter Hider" is simply one brand of nursing covers, such as kleenex is one brand of tissue, tampax is one brand of tampons, etc.

[PGTlatte]

Originally Posted by beru

..... I use a hooter hider to hide my fat rolls and my pasty skin. I have no delusions that people will not know what I am doing.

I never used a specific cover-up product like a hooter hider, but I did use a blanket with both our boys....but I did not cover them or my breast with it...I used it to cover my midsection ! I didn't care if the whole world knew and saw that I was nursing but I didn't want to share my belly rolls with anyone, and the nursing shirts that could have hid my belly just never worked for me.

Oh, I almost forgot ! When I had DS2, I made myself some "tummy covers"....I took tank tops and made openings in the chest area...so I could wear the tank tops under my shirts and when I lifted up my shirt to nurse, the tank top covered my belly !

[tayndrewsmama]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

tayandrewsmama- "Hooter Hider" is simply one brand of nursing covers, such as kleenex is one brand of tissue, tampax is one brand of tampons, etc.

I get that. I wasn't asking what it was. I just think it's kind of crass. The same as people might think if they wanted to buy a brand of tissue called Snot Rag or a brand of tampon called Rag Juice Collector.

[BugMacGee]

OT, but I bought my HH in large part because it's beautiful! If they made blankets in that pattern, I would've gotten those too.

I used my HH as many things, not only for it's intended purpose. DD always kicked it off anyway.

[tinyblackdot]

When i was BFing my dd i fet VERY uncomfortable BFing infron of my friends husbands. I dont know what it is, but there was just something about it to me......i was always covered when i BF around my friends partners.

[gruver]

i can't fathom why i would say something to anyone about that. if they made noises about using it to spare my comfort maybe, but otherwise, they are nursing in the manner in which they feel comfortable. how is that my business? i have some family members that are uncomfortable with women nursing in front of them and with DS all i had were blankets that never stay put so for my own sanity i would leave the room to nurse. i think the covers are a great alternative.

[Ruthla]

Originally Posted by tayndrewsmama

I get that. I wasn't asking what it was. I just think it's kind of crass. The same as people might think if they wanted to buy a brand of tissue called Snot Rag or a brand of tampon called Rag Juice Collector.

I'd TOTALLY buy a brand of tissues called "snot rag"- I'd probably even pay more for it than other brands just because the name on the package is so funny! I'd also probably buy "rag juice collector" if I still used tampons (or if it was the name of a menstural cup or cloth pads and I needed new ones.) Maybe I just have a crass sense of humor?

[tayndrewsmama]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

I'd TOTALLY buy a brand of tissues called "snot rag"- I'd probably even pay more for it than other brands just because the name on the package is so funny! I'd also probably buy "rag juice collector" if I still used tampons (or if it was the name of a menstural cup or cloth pads and I needed new ones.) Maybe I just have a crass sense of humor?

Honestly, it just really caught me off guard. I can be plenty crass myself at times, but I guess when it comes to breastfeeding I am not simply because I feel that there are so many barriers that women are still facing regarding their right to do so without interference. When I hear the word Hooter I think of Hooter's and to me that is a place that objectifies breasts as something to ogle and not as something to nurture and nourish a child with.

I guess we all take things differently.

[TiredX2]

Originally Posted by threadbey

That's simple. I guess I just feel like a lot of people probably use them not really because it's their personal choice but because they think it's expected?

I totally understand where you are coming from. I wouldn't say anything to a random person, but in the situation you described (good friend w/5 month old in my home) I would say something like, "Wow, my kids would never have kept a blanket on at that age. They were always kicking and looking around like crazy." That would allow them to say, "Oh, no, he totally likes it" or to realize that you are fine with her not using it and saying, "Yeah, it looks like he would rather have it off right now." I've met so many people who have never really encountered others NIP (or don't realize they have) that they still like a little reassurance that it is "normal."

Originally Posted by Ruthla

I'd TOTALLY buy a brand of tissues called "snot rag"- I'd probably even pay more for it than other brands just because the name on the package is so funny! I'd also probably buy "rag juice collector" if I still used tampons (or if it was the name of a menstural cup or cloth pads and I needed new ones.) Maybe I just have a crass sense of humor?

I remember seeing Hag Rags and thinking it was an awesome name:
http://www.tinytapir.com/category.php?category_id=156

[limabean]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

I'd TOTALLY buy a brand of tissues called "snot rag"- I'd probably even pay more for it than other brands just because the name on the package is so funny!

Kind of like Butt Paste brand diaper cream!

Originally Posted by beru

A lot of people here assume if you use a hooter hider, you are trying to hide the fact that you are nursing. This is not the case. I use a hooter hider to hide my fat rolls and my pasty skin.

: I always see people in this forum saying, "Zomg, those ridiculous covers draw even more attention to the fact that you're nursing!!!1!1!!" Yeah ... and? I never understand that comment.

Originally Posted by Can Dance

in fact, I told one friend I was kind of insulted that they were USING one in front of me as I could care less.

(Emphasis mine.) But ... it's not about you. It's about the mom and her baby, and what works best for them.

[TxMominCT]

I understand you feeling strange that she didn't feel comfortable nursing in your house. I'd feel almost offended too, like we weren't that close or something? I wouldn't say anything though, maybe she's just one of those shy people. It is hard enough to get women to nurse period than to have to make them feel bad about how they are doing it! I could never really nurse covered up, and dh and my mom aren't too happy about it. Oh well, they'll eventually get over it maybe?? (I've nursed for almost 3 years now, with a short break when pg with dd2!)

[Britishmum]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

:


I've never personally encountered a woman who felt she "had to" use a nursing cover to NIP, or panicked about "oh, no, I don't have my cover so I'll have to use a bottle." The cover-users I've met simply felt more comfortable nursing that way. :

.

By contrast, before I had my first dd, I was told very clearly by people that it was OK to nurse in public, as long as you were covered with a blanket. Period. That was the 'done thing' to be respectable in the US, and pretty disgraceful to nurse without one. Those same people would use one even in their own homes with nobody present except me. I never, ever saw even a millimeter of flesh or of the baby when it nursed.

Of course, I ignored the advice. Totally flummoxed them, too.

[Britishmum]

Originally Posted by limabean

:
: I always see people in this forum saying, "Zomg, those ridiculous covers draw even more attention to the fact that you're nursing!!!1!1!!" Yeah ... and? I never understand that comment.

.

The point is that by women choosing to cover up, they are giving a subtle message, intended or not, that nursing is something to be hidden away. I"m sure that many women use the HHs because of their own feelings about being exposed, their bodies, distractability etc. But to the general public, and to young girls growing up, the message is that nursing is something private, to be done only in private. I personally think that the message is also reinforced that there is something sexual about breasts even when used to feed a baby.

For all those reasons, however I feel about my body, or about my baby being distracted, I absolutely would not use one of those things. It's fine if other women do, but I wish that we could all get out there, rolls of fat and all, and feed our babies unashamedly in public. That way, the message gets out that this is totally natural and is a total non-issue.

This is not judging women who choose to use one, it's a philosophical point. I absolutely refuse to hide what I am doing when I nurse. Period. And as for my feelings about my body showing, I learned to get over them. Again, I'm not saying that everyone should, but just that it's a shame that every woman with a baby is not out there nursing comfortably in public, every day of the year, and HHs went out of business. (Along with a lot of companies who trade on women's insecurities about their bodies!) And again, I"m not saying that all HH users are insecure about thier bodies or need to get over it. I'm just saying that it's a shame that women are so often shackled by all this nonsense.

[limabean]

Britishmum, I agree with many of your points (and not that it should matter, but I don't cover when I NIP). But nothing you said in your well-written post explains why "anti-cover" folks (for lack of a better term) act like women who cover are trying to hide the fact that they're BFing. I still don't understand that conclusion, or the snickering that typically accompanies it, as if moms who use covers are too dumb to realize that they make BFing obvious.

[Britishmum]

Originally Posted by limabean

Britishmum, I agree with many of your points (and not that it should matter, but I don't cover when I NIP). But nothing you said in your well-written post explains why "anti-cover" folks (for lack of a better term) act like women who cover are trying to hide the fact that they're BFing. I still don't understand that conclusion, or the snickering that typically accompanies it, as if moms who use covers are too dumb to realize that they make BFing obvious.

I think the truth is that many women do think that by using a HH they are hiding what they are doing. I know women who think that. The word 'discrete' comes to mind - that word that is used over and over with regard to breastfeeding. HHs offer a way to be more 'discrete'.

But of course, some women who use them are totally aware that it is advertising what they are doing, and are fine with that because they are using the cover for different reasons. I still think that this is a sad comment on our society, but again, I'm not judging. I just think it's sad. We should all feel comfortable enough in our own skin to show what we need to show when we feed our babies.

And if that were the case, then the very few women who would want a cover because their baby is distractable would only be sending out a signal 'Distractable Baby.' Because everyone else would be nursing comfortably out there, fat rolls and all, nipple and all.

It would be an ideal world, imo, if a Hooter Hider was renamed 'Nosey Baby Hider' or something along those lines, and only ever used for that purpose.

[limabean]

Originally Posted by Britishmum

I think the truth is that many women do think that by using a HH they are hiding what they are doing. I know women who think that. The word 'discrete' comes to mind - that word that is used over and over with regard to breastfeeding. HHs offer a way to be more 'discrete'.

But of course, some women who use them are totally aware that it is advertising what they are doing, and are fine with that because they are using the cover for different reasons. I still think that this is a sad comment on our society, but again, I'm not judging. I just think it's sad. We should all feel comfortable enough in our own skin to show what we need to show when we feed our babies.

And if that were the case, then the very few women who would want a cover because their baby is distractable would only be sending out a signal 'Distractable Baby.' Because everyone else would be nursing comfortably out there, fat rolls and all, nipple and all.

It would be an ideal world, imo, if a Hooter Hider was renamed 'Nosey Baby Hider' or something along those lines, and only ever used for that purpose.

I guess I just don't understand why, just because someone is a BFing mother, she should be comfortable exposing parts of her body that she wouldn't otherwise feel comfortable exposing. It's okay for a person who isn't BFing to not want to show her flabby tummy, but a BFing mama is supposed to be okay with that or else it's "sad"? I guess I just will never understand this issue.

Even though I typically don't cover while nursing, I do dress strategically if I know I'll be nursing in public -- I wear a tank under my clothes to hide my belly most of the time, and if I'm caught without one I drape a blanket over my tummy to hide it. Is that sad too?

The other day I flashed my full breast at a woman in a park because DD surprised me by popping off when she did. I didn't freak out or anything, but I would have preferred that that didn't happen, and I did move quickly to pull my shirt over my breast -- is that sad too?

What is it about a nursing cover in particular that brings out these comments, when most mamas "cover" in other ways?

[BoringTales]

Originally Posted by slinginhipmama

IMO I don't think its fine....I wouldn't smoke a cigeratte either, but they say it would take 20 cigerattes (a whole pack) to affect your breastmilk. I guess it just depends on your comfort level. I also don't drink when my children are around (even after they are weaned). I don't think its attitudes like mine that keep women from breastfeeding...that statement has me stumped!

There is so much misinformation out there about what is 'ok', and what is not 'ok' while nursing. If we keep propagating this wrong information (in this case, that an alcoholic beverage is BAD or harmful when nursing), it will never end.

New mothers will keep hearing how restrictive and 'tied down' they'll be if they nurse. They won't realize that you can do almost everything you can do when NOT nursing, it is NOT restrictive to your life to nurse your baby.

Just look at all the bad information that comes from doctors and nurses, not only in the hospital post partum, but long after as well when a mother has to take a medication. Doctors will just tell them to wean without bothering to research the actual effects of the medication on the baby.

There is no respected lactation professional out there that will tell you that having an alcoholic beverage, even at the VERY SAME TIME you are nursing, is bad or harmful. No one is talking about drinking to excess, and being intoxicated.

Having a negative attitude about a nursing mom you saw with a 'beer' (omgosh! Gasp! a BEER!!!), does more to harm the cause than a nursing cover.

[Britishmum]

Originally Posted by limabean

I guess I just don't understand why, just because someone is a BFing mother, she should be comfortable exposing parts of her body that she wouldn't otherwise feel comfortable exposing. It's okay for a person who isn't BFing to not want to show her flabby tummy, but a BFing mama is supposed to be okay with that or else it's "sad"? I guess I just will never understand this issue.

Even though I typically don't cover while nursing, I do dress strategically if I know I'll be nursing in public -- I wear a tank under my clothes to hide my belly most of the time, and if I'm caught without one I drape a blanket over my tummy to hide it. Is that sad too?

The other day I flashed my full breast at a woman in a park because DD surprised me by popping off when she did. I didn't freak out or anything, but I would have preferred that that didn't happen, and I did move quickly to pull my shirt over my breast -- is that sad too?

What is it about a nursing cover in particular that brings out these comments, when most mamas "cover" in other ways?

None of those things are sad. That is not at all what I said.

I said that it is a 'sad comment on our society' that women feel embarrassed so often by first, nursing, and second, their bodies. That is totally different to saying that what you do or any individual woman does is sad.

I also think that it's a sad comment on our society that a woman who is not breastfeeding wouldn't want to show her flabby tummy. That was exactly my point.

I was saying that imo it is a far larger issue than what one woman chooses to do. And that it is a sad comment on our society that we are embarrassed if our body does not fit some ideal, and that we are embarrassed to do what is totally natural in public, feed our babies with that body.

That's all.

[smeisnotapirate]

Originally Posted by Sk8ermaiden

Apparently my FIL's mom told my MIL that a good dark beer would increase supply temporarily. They then regaled us with stories of my MIL drinking a Guinness and then when DH would pop off the milk would spray across the room! I filed that tidbit away and am just so happy both our families are SO supportive of breastfeeding.

As for nursing covers, I just added one to my registry tonight. I don't care if it advertises that I'm nursing, that's great! I just don't want anyone to see my boob or tummy. I am extremely uncomfortable even being sleeveless.

I would say the same as the rest of you. I'd say something light in my own home, but not mention it in public.

For all you mamas who are worried about belly fat showing, please don't invest in a HH. Use half that money and get yourself a couple belly bands. I tried to use a cover with DS in the beginning because we couldn't afford tons of nursing tops, and I ended up making a quilt out of it. Most expensive fat quarter of my life. DS was inconsolable when I used it, mostly because it's HOT under those things! The belly band covered my stomach so I could just lift up my shirt and latch him on. It's also much more comfy in the summer.

Originally Posted by slinginhipmama

IMO I don't think its fine....I wouldn't smoke a cigeratte either, but they say it would take 20 cigerattes (a whole pack) to affect your breastmilk. I guess it just depends on your comfort level. I also don't drink when my children are around (even after they are weaned). I don't think its attitudes like mine that keep women from breastfeeding...that statement has me stumped!

SO not the same. One beer is going to do NOTHING except increase your milk supply. It's completely irresponsible to smoke around an infant. Period. Please check out www.kellymom.com for information about alcohol and nursing before you advise other women to refrain from alcohol while nursing or judge a mother who is having a drink while nursing. If it's something you're not comfy with, fine - but please don't pass that opinion on as fact. THAT is what is damaging.

Originally Posted by tayndrewsmama

I get that. I wasn't asking what it was. I just think it's kind of crass. The same as people might think if they wanted to buy a brand of tissue called Snot Rag or a brand of tampon called Rag Juice Collector.

: Rag Juice Collector.

I totally agree, though. It could be seen as degrading.

[Sanveann]

Originally Posted by beru

A lot of people here assume if you use a hooter hider, you are trying to hide the fact that you are nursing. This is not the case. I use a hooter hider to hide my fat rolls and my pasty skin. I have no delusions that people will not know what I am doing. I am not an idiot and you don't have to be incredulous about what you can only speculate my motivation and reasoning is.

Ditto! I'm not hiding the fact that I'm nursing, I'm hiding my ginormous I-cup boob that my baby's head doesn't BEGIN to conceal. (I have yet to master the art of nursing discreetly ...)

As to the OP's question, I would let a friend know, "Oh, you don't need to use that if you don't want ! I've see boobs before!" in a joking tone, but of course I wouldn't mind if she preferred to cover. I cover sometimes, too (usually when out in public or when someone who's not a close friend or family member is over).