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Pre-K and then home school? Thoughts?

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
My daughter is 3 1/2...4 in August. We're planning on homeschooling. That is a definite. But right now I am being tempted to send her to preschool next year. I know I'm doing all I can do at home for her "academically" by her just living life & learning through those experiences. This is more for social reasons. Not "socializing" or "socialization" but just learning basic things that I think if she saw in a group setting she'd "get" better than if I try to teach it to her at home--for example, understanding that sometimes she needs to sit quietly and listen to the person talking/teaching or just having her interact w/other kids and, besides, I think pre-k just looks fun! It's more in my mind a class she'd be taking, like a park district class, not something that would lead to us sending her to school in Kindergarten b/c I know I want to home school. I just sometimes feel like she might really enjoy pre-k & I'm holding her back out of stubborness b/c it's labeled "school", kwim? Any thoughts on this? I'm really curious to hear from anyone who sent their 1st child to pre-k and not 2nd or did send both and then did school at home. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Thanks!
post #2 of 12
I think you are way over thinking this. Your daughter is a little kid and I would recommend you saving your money and taking her outside to play as much as possible. Let her run, climb trees, learn to ride a bike, dig in the mud and run around.

I don't really see what advantage it is to teach her that she's got to sit down and be quiet at her age.

Give her the gift of a mud puddle. These are the things kids don't get these days which IMO they need so badly.
post #3 of 12
There is no reason why a child can't go to preschool and then be homeschooled. Our child attended preschool and has been homeschooled for the rest of school. If there had been something just like preschool - play based rather than academic, a couple of hours, time playing outside, crafts I didn't feel like doing, etc. for more years we would have no problem with him continuing. Unfortunately where we live school is nothing like this.

I don't think it makes sense though to believe sending her to preK will cement in her mind some desire to sit still and listen to lessons. That is a lot more about developmental readiness (and there is no reason at her age that she should be ready to sit still for academics).
post #4 of 12
It takes no time to figure out that one needs to sit still and listen in a group situation - and it will be all the quicker and easier to figure out when she's older - although, come to think of it, she's going to be homeschooling, so there's really nothing for her to be learning about that. If you're thinking in terms of her learning how to sit quietly and listen to you teach her, there's no way that's going to happen from her attending preschool - but there really won't be much reason for that kind of teaching scenario anyway. Homeschooling doesn't need to be any different from when you're showing her how to mix a cake batter or ride a bike or make a bed - it's just easy and natural. So I certainly wouldn't do it for anything like that. Preschools used to be a lot of fun, but many of them today are heavy on early academics and workbooks and needless schooly stuff. If you have one near you that's all just imaginative-play-based just for social fun, that could be nice, but it's unlikely.
Lillian
post #5 of 12
Well, I wish I *hadn't* sent my little one (still only 3) to preschool. I sent him thinking of it as an activity we'd do for a semester or two, but he is deadset on going to school and against homeschooling now. I want to homeschool him but he is adamant about going to school and I really don't think he will change his mind. My oldest son is homeschooled (didn't go to preschool but did go to kindy for a while) and I want to homeschool my little one but it's going to be a fight and that makes me really sad. I wish I hadn't put him on that path.

Of course, not every kid will have such an extreme reaction... some kids just love school.
post #6 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by hottmama View Post
Well, I wish I *hadn't* sent my little one (still only 3) to preschool. I sent him thinking of it as an activity we'd do for a semester or two, but he is deadset on going to school and against homeschooling now.
This is a pretty common story, unfortunately. - Lillian



post #7 of 12
I sent my twin boys to a Waldorf preschool for two years, and have HSed them for K and first. No regrets here. I *loved* the time to myself, they had some great experiences, and I met some great people in our community. On the other hand, it helps to clarify what is not so great about school - the breaking up of your schedule, the constant fundraising, etc. I think that the benefits to the kids are pretty minimal, compared to what you can offer them at home. However, in my mind, there is nothing wrong with doing it because it gives you a break. This is the same reason I have my kids in a HS-ing enrichment program for one full school day a week. Luckily, they love it, or we wouldn't do it, but I'm not embarrassed to admit that I need a regular break from my kids and am a better parent for having it.

Transitioning to HSing was not an issue for us.
post #8 of 12
My oldest went to preschool & public school through a couple months of first grade; first grade sucked for him, we started hs'ing.

At the time my middle ds was in preschool, he went again the next year, and then stayed home for K.

My youngest is in preschool now, will go again next year, then will be home for K.

They like preschool, I like the preschool. It's fun, nonacademic, low key.. It works for us and transition to home was no problem.
post #9 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridie's Mama View Post
just learning basic things that I think if she saw in a group setting she'd "get" better than if I try to teach it to her at home--for example, understanding that sometimes she needs to sit quietly and listen to the person talking/teaching
My kids didn't go to preschool and they learned that kind of thing from taking creative movement classes, going to story time at the library, going to puppet shows, etc.

I don't think there is anything "wrong" with preschool, but I don't think it is necessary.

When my DD started school at age 10, it took her less than a week to figure out the system and then she become one of the best behaved kids. Years and years of functioning in a group doesn't produce better behavoir!
post #10 of 12
Well, I wasn't planning on sending my soon to be 5 yo to any school-type programs, but I found a creative arts play based "alternative to preschool" that I'm seriously considering. It's more for socialization skills and some free time for me to work. They claim to teach non-violent conflict resolution, which I find difficult to teach in an individual setting.

"When conflicts arise, the teachers in our programs are trained to stop any hurtful words or behavior, and then to validate the underlying feelings of the child or children involved. The adult acts as a facilitator in the problem solving process. Adults do not impose solutions upon children. We give children the opportunity to express their own feelings, the chance to hear firsthand how their actions affect others, and the chance to think up creative solutions. We have seen that as children grow this approach encourages the development of empathy, and the foundations of ethical decision making."

It's something that I feel my dd needs(probably even some adults, including myself), since the occasional group outings we do, it's hard to help with the sharing and fighting over toys and whatnot.

It's part time, 3hrs/day 3 days/week, so I'm trying to tell dd it's only a class, and not "school", but other adults have been labeling it as school. I don't want her to get the idea that school will be like that, because it obviously won't. It's not a sit down and shut up kind of program, if she wanted to sit on the swing all day, she'd be allowed to.

The skills of paying attention and being quiet are pretty well taught at library time... getting kicked out once will teach that.
post #11 of 12
I wasn't sure if I'd be homeschooling or not so I had signed my DD up for pre-school. She loves it & so do I. It's a 2hr day 2x per week so it's not overwhelming. They have 1 type of class for the 3-4 year old & 2 different offerings for the 4-5 year olds, laidback similar to this year or school-like. I'll probably send her next year as well, but we'll be doing the laidback version they offer not the very school-like version.

I live in a smaller town where most everybody is still friends with people from when they went to school. Since I didn't grow up here & don't go to church it means I don't know any moms & she has no kids her age to play with. Socially she was way behind her peers & really needed the pre-school, once she reaches K age there are a few activities she can join & by 1st/2nd there are quite a few. For pre-school kids there is nothing in this town which is sad, no homeschool groups either.
post #12 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridie's Mama View Post
My daughter is 3 1/2...4 in August. We're planning on homeschooling. That is a definite. But right now I am being tempted to send her to preschool next year. I know I'm doing all I can do at home for her "academically" by her just living life & learning through those experiences. This is more for social reasons. Not "socializing" or "socialization" but just learning basic things that I think if she saw in a group setting she'd "get" better than if I try to teach it to her at home--for example, understanding that sometimes she needs to sit quietly and listen to the person talking/teaching or just having her interact w/other kids and, besides, I think pre-k just looks fun! It's more in my mind a class she'd be taking, like a park district class, not something that would lead to us sending her to school in Kindergarten b/c I know I want to home school. I just sometimes feel like she might really enjoy pre-k & I'm holding her back out of stubborness b/c it's labeled "school", kwim? Any thoughts on this? I'm really curious to hear from anyone who sent their 1st child to pre-k and not 2nd or did send both and then did school at home. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Thanks!
Hi There:
I've never had any of my 3 dc in any setting other than our home. They are very well mannered (we always get compliments at restaurants, movies and stores), take turns, wait in line at the store with no issues, share very well and interact well with various ages, child or adult. I think it's all in what you teach them at home. I don't think "school" is the place where things like that are in the forefront of teaching regardless of it a family is homeschooling or not. I think that all is taught at home or not taught at home. I might be biased but I don't see anyone putting the time and effort into them like I have . I also love that I am the one that taught both my dd's to read, what a super amazing experience that has been for each of us. I love that we don't have to live by any schedule except that of our own, and that my dh is able to see our dc all 3 days he has off from work, all day long (we don't school on his days off).
You might enjoy reading the book The Socialization Trap. It's a good read.

I think it all comes down to what works for you personally.

Good luck to you.
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