The costs of working ft

[meandmine]

So, I look at all the expenditures associated with working ft and wonder if it is really worth it. I am a stb divorced mom, so I figured I *had* to go back to work. Now I wonder ...

I suppose, technically, getting benefits (insurance, pension (I just started and I have to put in 30 years to get full retirement -- I'd be almost 80!!!) makes it worth it???

Here are some of the costs:

1) Clothes
2) Gas for commute
3) Maintenance of car as result of commute
4) More bought school lunches for kids because time is so tight
5) Childcare and *summer camp*
6) Meals out because I am too frazzled and fried to cook (2 dinners, 1 weekend lunch on average per week)

Am I missing anything on the list; I feel like I am.

Of course, then there are the non-monetary costs, but I won't write those out (I might cry).

How about you -- do you ever wonder if, really, you'd be better off *not* working?

M

[ALittleBitCrunchy]

Originally Posted by meandmine

How about you -- do you ever wonder if, really, you'd be better off *not* working?

Me? No. Unless I'm going to sit around, naked and hungry, in my house 24x7, I would need food, clothes and car/maintenance. The difference is that I would be not making any money to pay for anything. I need money to live, therefore I need a job. Even if I'm only clearing $200 a month, it's $200 a month that my family wouldn't have. And that $200 eventually becomes $300, then $400, then I have a job with better hours, then one with lower cost benefits, etc. My family benefits and I stay happy

I definitely know that I would be worse without working.

[AlwaysByMySide]

Originally Posted by meandmine

How about you -- do you ever wonder if, really, you'd be better off *not* working?

For me personally, as a single mom with two kids that are still daycare-age, I can tell you that every time I do the math on different jobs, what is the most disheartening is that usually at LEAST 75% of my after-tax pay would go directly to child care. I have to be creative about where my money comes from, and the hours I work, because it is extremely hard to make the ends meet in my household.

If I were getting child support, I would definitely be better off not working outside the home. Without a doubt.

As far as extra costs, I'd add in hair/makeup, if you are a hair/makeup kind of person. (I am when I am working in an office. As a SAHM/WAHM, forget it, I haven't put on makeup in over a year.) Silly stuff like having to chip in for a baby shower or other things for co-workers. Taxes.

[FancyPants]

Honestly when I was SAH, and DH was making less, we were saving money. Not a lot but some.

The thing is that DH held off on getting toys he so desperately wants and has gone wild now that we are both working.

We have quite a different approach to money. I would not WOH ft before because I knew that, when our children were small, I would be working at a job I didn't like simply so we could have more stuff (which I personally find appalling). I preferred to SAH with our children when they were very small and was fortunate to have that choice.

I work now for a variety of reasons but I am under no delusions that, should we stay together until death (which I hope for, don't get me wrong) it will really mean more money in the long run.

I work because:

I found a job that makes a difference in this world

I like my job - a lot

I like my co-workers a whole bunch

I can balance my home and job (it is 6-4pm 4 days a week)

It has awesome benefits (better than my husband could ever get)

It is union and has awesome sick leave and vacation and comp time

It provides stimulation, socializing and a good bit of physical work and outdoor work which makes me a much happier person

I love my husband and am happy to balance our financial life a bit toward his desires for "toys" (which he held off on while I was SAH)

If my husband dies or leaves me I can make my way in this world okay

[lolar2]

Yes, I did the math and we are better off with both of us working.

[kirstenb]

Right now, even after all the expenses of working, I am better off working. We need what I bring home, too. I'm going to have to crunch numbers the next few months though because daycare for the two of them alone will take all of my take home pay plus some. In that case I may be better off staying home.

[Azuralea]

DH and I earn almost exactly the same amount of money. Therefore, as far as monetary costs go, working is a no-brainer for us. We like how our family life is structured, so we come out ahead on non-monetary costs as well.

[shayinme]

Originally Posted by meandmine

How about you -- do you ever wonder if, really, you'd be better off *not* working?

M

I lost my teaching gig in 2007 and ran the numbers and realistically I have to earn some money. I spent a year and a half self employed as a consultant yet still needed childcare since I can't work when my dd is home. Thankfully my current position is part time and while childcare does take a chunk of what I earn, next year dd starts school so that money will go back into the general pot of money. :

I don't know but the cost of me working or not working outside of childcare there isn't much difference. When I have been a SAHM, I have a personality that does not do staying at home well, so the constant cost of going out all the time adds up. As for clothes, well I need clothes anyway and my job aside from the occasional meeting (I am the director of a non-profit) does not require anything special. I live in walking distance of my house so we only have one car.

There was also the fact that I personally was not comfy being out of the workforce for years and losing contacts especially as quick as the world changes these days.

Also my dh is a freelance writer/editor and sadly his field has changed drastically in recent years, the large good paying assignments are few and far between and me working adds a certain level of stability to our finances.

Then there is just the fact that I like working, I was married and divorced previously and its my personal comfort level that I work and earn some cash of my own.

[Alyantavid]

I do wish I wasn't working, but right now, in our situation, I need to. However, we live in a fairly low col area, so daycare isn't breaking us. I make more than enough to cover daycare, groceries and lots of other things we need money for. DH's working and going to school so we need whatever I bring in right now.

Depending on your job, you may not be out all those expenses. I don't need special work clothes and I'd buy clothes regardless so that isn't an extra for me. I live 3 miles from work and go home for lunch and have leftovers. I switched my hours around so I have no afterschool care for my oldest and am usually home by 4:15 everyday, which makes cooking dinner much less stressful.

[nabigus]

I'm really sorry you're in this situation. I bet it's a major emotional upheaval, and that the logistics are pretty scary.

If you're stb divorced, the "value" of working may be more than the immediate money you'll be bringing in. You start building a pension. You get benefits (I hope!). You start building connections, so that you can move into a job you like even better and that pays better down the line. I don't know what your support situation will be, but in this economy, I wouldn't rely on someone else (the stb x) having a job--you never know what might happen in a year or five years or 10 years. If it were me, the value of long-term financial security and being able to support myself and my children down the road would be pretty pressing.

How old are your kids? Once they start school, childcare won't be eating up your whole salary. But even childcare does eat up your salary, if you can find a good job with benefits and start building a network, it may well be worth it.

[ShwarmaQueen]

Yes, we would be better off without me working. With the cost of DCP, gas and car maintenance, clothes, etc., after taxes we're only benefiting like $10K by me working.

Considering all the things I've missed out on in DD's life and the filthy house we live in, I wouldn't work if I didn't have to.

[kewb]

Originally Posted by meandmine

4) More bought school lunches for kids because time is so tight
6) Meals out because I am too frazzled and fried to cook (2 dinners, 1 weekend lunch on average per week)

There are a lot of costs to working but in these 2 spots I see a chance for savings on expenses and time frazzling.

(4)I don't know how old your child(ren) are but depending on age they can certainly make or at least help male their own lunches. Lunches were always made the night before.

(6) Bulk cook. I would take a day and make 3 or 4 meals for the week. In my freezer I always try to have:
breaded cutlets-pull them out, throw on some sauce and cheese and you have chicken parm. Or slice and serve with salad. Over rice, etc.
Rice-I always make a lot of rice and then freeze it into portions.
Meatballs-quick and easy
Burritos-mash up some beans, add some cheese and spices. They freeze wonderfully, are inexpensive, and cook up in minutes.

On truly inspired days I would also make a baked ziti or a lasagna to have in the freezer.

There are pros and cons to working and not working. Sometimes circumstances are such that you need to work whether you want to or not. I hope you are able to find some tips and tricks to make it a little easier for you.

[mammastar2]

It really depends on the nature of your work, the ages of your children, and so on.

Depending on what kind of work you're looking at, longterm you may want to consider retraining for something that pays well, holds enough interest that getting to do it is a plus for you, and/or that offers hours that mesh well with your needs.

We don't buy ready-made things for school lunches - dd has a thermos, and usually take leftovers (we cook extra big batches). We also don't eat out all that often, and when we do it's more for a treat to self than because of work/time pressures.

We both take public transit.

Dd is school-age, and we pay only for out-of-school care from a neighbor on the days we need it.

[nina_yyc]

Originally Posted by Azuralea

DH and I earn almost exactly the same amount of money. Therefore, as far as monetary costs go, working is a no-brainer for us.

Me too. We are both working as hard as we can so we can comfortably have a SAHP at least part time in the future.

[slsurface]

Originally Posted by meandmine

Here are some of the costs:

1) Clothes
2) Gas for commute
3) Maintenance of car as result of commute
4) More bought school lunches for kids because time is so tight
5) Childcare and *summer camp*
6) Meals out because I am too frazzled and fried to cook (2 dinners, 1 weekend lunch on average per week)

I'm not sure why everyone has the idea that all your expenses will go up when you work . Honestly, I found that my costs (aside from daycare of course) went DOWN when I was working fulltime. Of course daycare took a big chunk out of my income, but excluding that, we actually ate out less, used less fuel in our car, and I spent less money on "stuff". I still bought my clothes at the thrift store, so buying professional work apparel was a one-time cost of $30. Since I was working fulltime and couldn't go thrifting every week like I did before, I spent way less on clothes overall. I meal planned and preped a lot of food on the weekend to avoid eating out. I also packed DS and I leftovers for lunch everyday. The result was that we actually saved on our food bills too. Since my job was only 1 mile away from home, I frequently biked in the summer and also drove less in general, so again, my vehicle expenses also went down.

I get a little exasperated by the argument that working "costs" you. Yeah, it costs to have your child in care, but there are so many more benefits: healthcare, retirement savings, increased income to save for your kids education, for home remodeling, for vacation, to pay off debts (whatever your priorities or desires are). There are non-monitary benefits too. I get to use my brain and get adult stimulation. DS gets to spend time with other adults that love him and he will learn how to socialize with his peers. Plus, when I'm not stressed about money, I am a much happier wife and mama! When mama's happy, everyone is happy . Happiness is priceless!

[Benji'sMom]

Originally Posted by meandmine

So, I look at all the expenditures associated with working ft and wonder if it is really worth it. I am a stb divorced mom, so I figured I *had* to go back to work. Now I wonder ...

Where would money come from if you didn't work, since you are going to be a single mom?

[CatsCradle]

I could have written slsurface's post above! I've always thought of working in terms of the benefits (both monetary and non-monetary). Although I do understand taking a cost/benefit approach to what you do and how you do it, I feel there is a common perception that if by working you are spending money to make money, than it is not worth it. Most business people would disagree and most businesses survive on breaking even and making a profit from time-to-time.

I agree with some previous posters that the only noticeable expenditure I've seen by being a working mom was childcare. That aside, me working has allowed us to send our DD to Montessori school full-time, which to me is a huge benefit. I buy a few good pieces of clothing per year (as does my working DH), but that is really a drop in the bucket. We rarely eat out because we are too tired to cook. In fact, if we do eat out it is a family treat. We cook in bulk on Sundays and DD's lunches come out of that as well as a stock of fresh fruits and vegetables and some bulk snacks. We don't have a car, so public transit is our only transporation cost and we would use that even if a parent wasn't working. We have a good family income but saving is very important to us. My grandparents and great grandparents survived the Great Depression because of their savings.

I think that disorganization drives costs up more than anything. Sure, we're tired at the end of the week, but speaking from experience, you do get into your routines and once good routines are established, you sort of feel out of sorts if you don't follow them. I think the "cost" of working would also depend on where you live, your proximity to work, whether you live in a low or high cost of living area, what type of work you do, and whether you perceive the work as just a way to pay living expenses or view working in terms of long-term benefits.

I know it must be hard to see yourself separated from your children on a daily basis. But I can tell you, you're in each other's hearts and minds the whole day through. When love is in the home, all its members adjust to varying situations quite well.

[nolonger]

I worked much harder stretching my budget when I was a SAHM than I ever have for pay, even when I was working five part timer minimum wage jobs in the third trimester of Terran's pregnancy. Now I work four days a week (including weekends) as a housekeeper/caregiver and the baby comes with me in a wrap. I am paid by the state, not my client, and I do not declare all of the hours I work. I clear less than $200 a monyh. It does not slow the hemmorhage of my savings, but I have to work for my own sanity. Things that were said and done to me when I was a SAHM just hurt too bad and I need to disprove them to myself. My older children, who I had right out of college and who I love more than life itself, do not cannot and will not appreciate what I have done for them. It is too easy to dwell on this and feel like I have wasted my life or become suicidal. As much as I loved the time I spent with them, they are very consumeristic and never quite understood why we were homeschooling or why I preferred voluntary simplicity to the typical corporate office job/daycare/struggle to pay the bills lifestyle. They don't know me at all. ds2 seems to (he is only one and a very mellow baby) since he is with me while I work my IHSS job and my volunteer job. He enjoys my coworkers and enjoys being a part of a bigger world. My IHSS client is almost 80, very wise, and fills a hole where my extended family would have been in a tribal society. She loves ds even though she warned me when she hired me that she didn't like children and that it was not okay to bring along the boy I was tutoring at the time. At this time in my life, I need to work for reasons other than money.

[beebalmmama]

I work because we need my income.
Our increased expenses are
-childcare
-gas
-auto maintenance
-taxes
But even including those we are still ahead with me working. We may spend a bit more than we did when I SAHM'd, but a lot of that this year was making up for what we couldn't buy when I SAHM'D and really needed. Plus we have paid off our credit debt, whereas when I SAHM'd we were making min payments and would never have paid it off at that rate.
I'm hoping working now will help me stay home with #2 at least for a year/year 1/2, like I did with DS1.
I'd love to work part time and could afford to financially, but haven't found a job that offered it or paid enough.

[GuildJenn]

It's very individual but I have found that for me the critical points were, besides personal growth and all that:

- I'm on the salary grid so overall my chances of earning more down the road are higher
- I get pension points and RRSP room
- I'm staying current and in touch with people

All of those things have definite financial assets down the road, and depending on how one structures things (public school, etc.), daycare costs are really not forever. On the smaller budget fronts:

- I found, like some people, that some of my spending went down - this is very personal but when I was a SAHM we were not always home and that had costs associated with it - I shopped "on sale" for things that we did not especially always need right then because I was doing it recreationally; out shopping, etc. I do spend a bit more on clothes for me but it pretty much evened out

- Food came out to slightly less than when I was SAH for the same reason - I needed more lunches out, etc., because that was my point of adult contact. I work fairly hard at meal planning, crockpot, etc.