It was a shame that it all went down the way it did. It kind started with there being two separate groups...the adoptive parents in the adoption forum, and the other parts of the triad in personal growth and other forums. It was strangely separate.
From what I remember, we tried to get everyone together to discuss the adoption smilies, and when we all got together there was A LOT of fighting. It was pretty intense. Adoptive parents felt like they weren't being heard, just sterotyped, and adoptees felt they were also being stereotyped, and people were constantly getting offended and doing a lot of name-calling, adoption/adoptee/adoptive parent-bashing.
Very sad.
I had hoped that we'd just keep at it and work through the mesiness on a way to some sort of new equilbrium, but the problem was that a lot of people who'd been in the adoption forum for a while felt as if it wasn't a safe place to talk about their adoptive parenting issues honestly anymore...which I could see. On all sides, people were feeling so defensive that either they didn't talk at all or they jumped all over others. So...it became the adoptive PARENTING forum.
Personally, I like seeing threads from adult adoptees and first parents. I feel like those threads, and the comments from those moms and individuals, are some of the most insightful things I read related to adoption. It bugs me that all the threads are moved. Everytime I see it I feel really bad...something about it isn't right. I don't like feeling as if I benefit from their/your insight, but whenever they/you have a question for the forum, it gets moved.
From what I remember, we tried to get everyone together to discuss the adoption smilies, and when we all got together there was A LOT of fighting. It was pretty intense. Adoptive parents felt like they weren't being heard, just sterotyped, and adoptees felt they were also being stereotyped, and people were constantly getting offended and doing a lot of name-calling, adoption/adoptee/adoptive parent-bashing.
Very sad.I had hoped that we'd just keep at it and work through the mesiness on a way to some sort of new equilbrium, but the problem was that a lot of people who'd been in the adoption forum for a while felt as if it wasn't a safe place to talk about their adoptive parenting issues honestly anymore...which I could see. On all sides, people were feeling so defensive that either they didn't talk at all or they jumped all over others. So...it became the adoptive PARENTING forum.
Personally, I like seeing threads from adult adoptees and first parents. I feel like those threads, and the comments from those moms and individuals, are some of the most insightful things I read related to adoption. It bugs me that all the threads are moved. Everytime I see it I feel really bad...something about it isn't right. I don't like feeling as if I benefit from their/your insight, but whenever they/you have a question for the forum, it gets moved.
