Problem with daycare center

[asta164]

My son is two years old and has been attending a daycare since he was 7 months old. Recently the staff at the daycare has been complaining about my son's behavior. Specifically, they say he is saying "bad words", gets "out of control" in the late afternoon, runs out of the room and down the hall and "doesn't listen." They have said that he is absolutely fine until about 4:15 and they are now starting to pressure me and his Grandma (who picks him up a couple times of week) to "try to come and get him earlier." I am a working single mom and I have to work. My mom also works. I am paying a full time daycare rate, which includes 6:30 am to 6:30 pm. I usually drop him off at 8:30 am and pick him up at 5:30 pm. I spoke with my child's morning teacher and she said she has had no problems with him other than the usual two year old stuff. I really think that the problem is the daytime teacher leaves around 4:15 and a lot younger, less experienced staff comes in. I said as much to the director and she disagreed, insisting it was my son's fault (and mine). She asked my mom what is going on in my life (i.e., is the child's dad involved, do I have a boyfriend, etc) and stated, "I don't know what goes on at home." My mom told her that nothing goes on at home, that I'm a good mom. I don't like what she is implying. Problem is, the daycare center is convenient and I do really like the educational/social progress my son has made since starting there in November. The center is in a spacious, clean and brand new building and my son has not gotten hurt there, unlike at his last daycare center. When the problems started, I started calling the center each day to see how he is doing but I think that just gave the director and her assistant the opportunity to complain about my son. Isn't dealing with kids' behavior their jobs? His morning teacher said the behavior she has seen him exhibit is typical two year old stuff, nothing worse. I am honestly getting sick and tired of hearing the complaints and nothing but negative feedback every day. Any suggestions? Thanks.

[AuntG]

Wow. Yes, it does sound typical and it does sound like the afternoon person maybe just decided she doesn't like your kid, for whatever reason. And yes, they should be equipped and willing to deal with this behavior. But, hmmm, I wonder, do they give them afternoon snacks?
Is it possible he is getting a not-so-great type of snack?

Regardless, it's out of line asking about your home life!

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I would ask that when the daytime teacher leaves, that she takes your son to the three year old classroom for the last hour.

If he is having no trouble at all until the afternoon teachers get there, then it's the teachers more than him. I have taught in daycare centers, and I have seen my morning class turn into absolute chaos as soon as the shift teachers come in. It's the lack of control, lack of having a clue how to work with kids, and probably that the teachers just aren't enjoying their job. They want to come in, sit on the floor and play with the cute kids.. not have to chase one or two down the hall.

If it's just a matter of that last hour, I'd ask them to find a way handle this without making it hard on you and him.

I have a home daycare now, and I have many kids who melt down at 4:00 p.m. They can be perfectly fine, then somebody throws a switch and they are just DONE for the day. They've been watching the other kids go home for an hour, and they have waited long enough.

It's a long day for a little kid, and a daily meltdown is pretty normal.

But, I still kinda think it's mostly the teacher change that sets him off.

[asta164]

Thanks for the reply. I can see how it might seem like the afternoon teachers don't like my son but when I pick him up, they seem genuinely fond of him. They aren't the ones that are doing the complaining, it's the director and her assistant. What's happening is the afternoon teachers can't handle him so they bring him to the office and then he's the director's problem. I really think it's an issue of experience and training for the afternoon teachers but the director does not agree. I am about to tell her, this is the business you are in, you are supposed to be professionals and it's your job to figure out how to handle this. I pay a lot of money for you to care for my son and I am tired of your whining and complaining! Of course, if I say that, I will probably have to find another daycare!! It's just very frustrating.