Ok I am just going to use this thread to get this all off my chest and so I can look back and remind myself why why why I have to take these meds- sorry if this is chaotic.
Ok So my house is a disaster- I got laundry going and started the first load of dishes- I would guess there are 3 loads of dishes I have the rest all in the sink tho- except these mugs on the desk.
I found out this morning that my son has an honors program at the school we should go to so I have to go to that than clean a house( thats what I do for a living- a very meager living right now) anyhow- I am really trying to pull it together so I don't ruin my new relationship cause its great and he is great.... he has been out of town and I know that is a trigger and i should have planned better about it. He is texting now and I did tell him I quit taking my medicine.
GAWD- what If I freak out on him- I almost think I should tell him to stay away this week.... but damn it I missed him so much and that seems irrational too.
Ok... I am going to just go fold some laundry and pick up stuff off floor in living room....
I have tears streaming down my face I am so so so stupid. I am mentally ill and that medicine make s me normal- I would rather have to go to the gym and be normal.
OK....Thanks for letting me vent- this is what the inside of my craziness looks like... oh and anyone else say I wish I was normal than the therapist says no one is normal and want to slap them across the face? I hate that line- it totally minimizes what we go thru.