Sharing Rooms

[ChetMC]

What are your thoughts on kids sharing a room? Is one room per child always the most desirable option, or do you think it can be good for kids to share a room?

[TwinsTwicePlusTwo]

I think kids sharing can be a very good thing, assuming they're close in age and generally get along with each other. Both my sets of twins share. It helps them learn to share in general and, I think, creates a closer sibling relationship between them. It gives them someone to talk to as they're going to sleep and definitely helps when they're going through a stage where they're afraid of the dark or having nightmares, since they're not in the room alone.

I don't think forcing kids who don't want to share is ideal, though. My twins wanted to share.

I shared a room with my sister growing up. I really liked it until we were older (about 10 and 14), then we both really wanted our own space. Unfortunately, the house was a two bedroom, so it didn't happen.

[kirstenb]

I think it can be a good thing, but some kids do really need their own space. My two sisters shared a room for 6 years, and my middle sister really needed her own space. It got the the point where we were changing bedrooms every six months so we all got a chance to have our own room, until my parents added onto the house and put a 4th bedroom on.

I plan on my kids sharing a room, at least while they are young.

[Ks Mama]

Originally Posted by ChetMC

What are your thoughts on kids sharing a room? Is one room per child always the most desirable option, or do you think it can be good for kids to share a room?

Don't see a way that it would be more desirable to be separated from your sibling.
We only have 2 bedrooms, so our children share by default.

But... they are & always have been the best of friends. Even if we HAD the room, I wouldn't separate them.

[VSIMom]

My daughter (5) and son (4) share a room and love it! I think it's good for them at this stage. Probably won't last too much longer, but they like it right now!

[OkiMom]

I shared a bedroom with my brother until he was 12 and I was 10. We enjoyed it. When we got our own rooms we still ended up hanging out in each others rooms to do homework and listen to music.

My children will share rooms until they are older too. Maybe the entire time they are at home. I don't see the reason each child needs their own room.

[Rosehip]

My kids share. Where we are living now, they could have separate rooms. Where we are moving to, it will not be an option.

I think the option of separate rooms for each child is a luxury that much of the world does not have. Generally, I don't see why each child "needs" his or her own room. Yes, a newborn who's up all night probably belongs with mama, not the 4 yo big brother.

I used to own a rental, and I remember how one of my tenants was happy to have his own BED for the first time. They'd slept two to a bed growing up. Having his own bedROOM was like winning the lottery. The guys would use "I have my own room" as a pickup line in the pubs. He did not grow up impoverished, or in a slum. This was just life. Bigger families, smaller space, double up kids!

[mamatoablessing]

I post this column everytime I see a thread like this one MDC. It's written by a columnist named John Rosemond who is most definitely not AP and whom I hardly ever agree with. But, I really like what he has to say on this subject.

http://www.nctimes.com/articles/2007...5212_29_07.txt

It's certainly worth the read.

[LuckyTrish]

I think it depends the the child!

My sister and I were forced to share a room until I was in High School, even though there was a spare bedroom. There is only a 2 year age gap, but for us it did NOT work out at all. We fought all the time over room-related things. We are so different (she is obsessed with all things appearance-related, and all I wanted to do was fix computers), and both of us needed our own space to just be ourselves. I think that we would actually get along better today if we didn't have so much bitterness in our relationship growing up.

Really looking back on it, I think the biggest thing was not having a place of our own to retreat to (and get away from eachother) when things got tough.

Just my personal feelings! if my children want to share a room I will let them, but if they need their own space (and we have an extra room), I will let them make that decision for themselves.

[TwinsTwicePlusTwo]

Originally Posted by ToastyToes

I used to own a rental, and I remember how one of my tenants was happy to have his own BED for the first time. They'd slept two to a bed growing up.

My younger twins share a double bed by choice. We offered them their own beds, but they want to sleep curled up together. It's beyond cute.

There is only a 2 year age gap, but for us it did NOT work out at all. We fought all the time over room-related things. We are so different (she is obsessed with all things appearance-related, and all I wanted to do was fix computers), and both of us needed our own space to just be ourselves.

This is what would happen if I tried to make any of my girls share with each other. All three of them are SO different, it would never work. Cali has no trouble sharing with her brother, though. Of course, she started out sharing a uterus with him, so that probably helps, lol.

[mamarootoo]

i agree that it depends on the kiddos involved.

i shared a room with my brother till i was about 5.5 and he was 3.5. that was when we moved and got our own rooms. he would still come to my room most nights till he was about 4.

it was great for us when we were transitioning from sleeping with our parents (which happened when i was around 4) and to help ease the stress of moving

we plan on having our kids transition from the family bed to a sibling bed, then to separate beds in the same room.

if it will work out that way remains to be seen

[Tjej]

I intentionally have my kids sharing a room (right now they are 3 and 1). They like it, and I plan to continue it for many years. I think that it would have been good for me to share a room with a sibling growing up - and my DH too. I had some experience in that in college, but I think that a lot of what sharing space is could be been learned more easily when I was younger. I think it fosters a certain "togetherness."

Tjej

[ewe+lamb]

My kids share a room because we have a two bed apartment, I think that if we did have a 3 bed that they'd still share a room and we'd have a quiet room for play and homework. My sister's boys all start off in their own rooms but during the night they all end up with the eldest and finish off the night together, during last summer my kids and those three slept together in a big double bed (although there are 5 bedrooms) it was really cute.

[cappuccinosmom]

I think the concept of everybody having their own room is rather new and not necessarily the best for everybody.

I shared a room with siblings growing up. My kids are sharing rooms. If I had tons of money and a massive house, I'd still probably have them share rooms. I think it is good for them to learn to share space, work together to keep it up, etc. And honestly, my little ones wouldn't want to be in their own rooms at this point anyway.

I can understand that teens might need more privacy. When I was growing up, my parents helped me make my own space within the shared room. We either used a freestanding closet or a bookshelf to add an extra "wall" and give me some privacy.

[ProtoLawyer]

My kids probably won't share rooms, just due to age difference and the blended family dynamic. Plus our bedrooms are tiny city rooms.

My SD is 6 and will probably be 8 or 9 before she gets a sibling on our side. I think it would be more trouble than it's worth to have a 9-year-old share a room with an infant, especially when the 9-year-old's had her own room since birth, may see the new baby as an invader, and may also have trouble with the idea that the new baby stays with us all the time but she goes back and forth. The baby, too, might have trouble with having an inconsistent roommate.

That said, she did volunteer to cosleep with a sibling once the sibling became old enough to sleep in a bed.

(I speak in terms of having only one biological/adoptive child with my partner because that's the plan right now; this may all change if I end up with twins or with close-in-age siblings. We'll have a four-bedroom house so we've got options.)

[pinksprklybarefoot]

The kids in our house share a room and probably will for the next few years. DSD is 6 and DS1 is 2. I think that the age gap between them is still small enough where they are okay with it (and they share toys). When DS2 arrives, he'll be in the same room once he is done sleeping with DH and I. I think that it has helped them bond. Sharing a room is not a new concept to DSD, so that probably helps. She shares a room with her 12 yo and 20 yo sisters at her mom's.

Eventually, when DSD is approaching her teen years, we'll probably have to rethink things, but hopefully by that point I'll be out of school and we will be in the position to get a bigger place.

[Katzchen]

We live in a two bedroom house, so our two sons have been sharing a room since the youngest night weaned. When we bought the house we thought that our kids sharing a room would be no problem since both my husband and I shared a room with siblings growing up. However, now I wish that we had bought a three bedroom house to have the option of splitting them up, as room sharing has turned out to be a nightmare for my family.

Both of the boys are very light sleepers and they seem to take turns keeping each other up all night. Neither has slept though the night or even for a good chunk of the night since they moved in together. The result is that my entire family is completely sleep deprived and my husband and are seriously considering sleeping on the living room floor so that the boys can each have their own room to sleep in. We've tried it a few times and when they boys are in different rooms they sleep for a 10-12 hour stretch without a single peep! So unfortunately room sharing doen't work for everyone

[Teensy]

I have my boys sharing a bedroom now, but we did deliberately purchase a house big enough to allow each child to have their own rooms if desired. Right now the boys have one room just for sleeping and reading (two beds and two bookcases are all it contains) and the other room is their playroom with all their toys in it. It works well enough for now, but if they decide they each want their own rooms, then we'll rearrange things.

[Tigerchild]

I don't see it as "good" or "bad", just reality.

It's great if someone has a choice, but my kids really don't, because we don't have the rooms for everyone to have their own rooms. I'm sure there are many things they like and don't like about it.

But it's really not something that I spend time on justifying or knocking down.

[karemore]

Absolutely depends on the kids. I know a family where the girls had their own rooms, but ended up sleeping in one room and made a play room out of the other.

Another family had to convert a porch into a bedroom because the two boys were at each others throats sharing a room.

I hated sharing a room with my sister, and to this day have issues with sharing space.

I can't see forcing kids to room together "for their own good" if there are spare rooms.