Sharing Rooms - Page 2

[Heavenly]

We have 3 kids and only 3 bedrooms so we always have kids sharing. When we had our third child our DS and DD1 were in bunk beds. When DD2 was almost 2 we moved her into the bottom bunk so that DS could have his own room (he was almost 7 and wanting his own boy space). The girls will be sharing for a long time I'm sure. We are currently living in a 3 bedroom basement apartment but next year when we move we are most likely going to be renting a townhouse in a housing co-op and it also only has 3 bedrooms. I don't really think it is a problem in any way for them to share. They are 3 years apart and don't have all the same interests, but they are similar enough that it's not an issue. The only downside I can see is when one is sick they often wake the other up (with coughing or with constantly getting out of bed to go find Mommy or Daddy). Although they have actually pretty good at sleeping through each others noises. My 3 year old is currently in bed hacking up a storm and my 6 year old is sleeping like a rock. I don't know, when my mom was little she and her two sisters had to share a bed. I think the expectation that every kid needs their own room is an idea perpetrated by those who always want more, more, more. Nice, yes. Necessary, no.

[Nikki Christina]

we have 3 bedrooms & 3 kids.

the baby cosleeps & will for a few more years.

the 4 & 8 year old each have their own rooms..but they sleep in the 8 year olds room almost every night, ocassionly they sleep together in the 4 year olds room.

the 4 year old calls her room her's & Mia's (the baby) ..
I plan to get the middler to start sleeping in her room with the youngest when they are 3 & 6. im sure that arangement will work for a few more years & give us some time to save up to build on another room

[momtokea]

My dd's share a room. We have 3 bedrooms on the main floor so it's more out of practicality than anything else. We do have two more bedrooms down in the basement and I expect at least one of them to move down there in a couple of years or more as when they are older they will want more privacy. For now it works very well.

I have only one brother and I always had my own bedroom. I loved the privacy but it was lonely at times. My dd's are so close, they share everything, and they literally have a slumber party up there every night. I can hear them talking and laughing and they often read to each other and listen to books on tape together. Tonight they are working on a crocheting project together while listening to an audiobook. They share all their clothes without any problems and there is no jealousy between them. It's amazing. They have a beautiful relationship. I love it

[becoming]

I siblings sharing rooms. In fact, when we move in a year or so, I want a 2-bedroom house so all three kids can share a room from now on, but my DP doesn't like this idea. I just think it's the sweetest, most cozy thing ever for brothers and sisters to share a room. My younger two do share a room right now (they are 3.5 and 20 months).

[3boobykins]

We have three kids, and my dh works from home, so in order for each to have his/her own room, we'd need 5 bedrooms, and that's just not possible. Right now we have 3 BR, and all three kids share a room. We're moving soon, and will be looking for either a 4BR or a 3BR with a detached building for dh's office, or a small den or bonus room.

I don't think there's a simple answer to this question. It comes down to what is financially/practically possible, and what individual children prefer.

[ann_of_loxley]

Originally Posted by ChetMC

What are your thoughts on kids sharing a room? Is one room per child always the most desirable option, or do you think it can be good for kids to share a room?

I think a lot of us are lucky to have the option! In many cultures, whole families share a single room!
For us - we are not rich. I plan at least 2 children (one day it wll happen). We can either buy a big house with enough rooms for my child/potential children to each have their own room or downsize and have more money to have fun with. I think we are going to downsize personally. I don't see a problem with my children having no other option than to have to share a room. Its for sleeping really and we co-sleep anyhow and when personal space/time alone is desired - we can come up with other ways to acheive this than to be all shut up in a bedroom.

[bbbbaby]

So I have a question about sharing a room as well. A lot of the responses I see here are "it's great for them to share and play," etc. which I think may be true if my children were older. However, I have a 2 1/2 year-old son and a 7 month-old daughter. She has been in our room since she was born. She sleeps through the night almost all of the time and think it's time to move her out of our room.  But we live in a small condo, and I'm not sure where to move her. There is my son's room that is big enough or a small room (no closet) that is used as an office and houses a lot of stuff on shelves. We have to be creative with storage here as our stuff grows.  So the options are to move some shelves around and give *half* of the office to her or let her share my son's room.  

Let me say this: when I was pregnant, we planned on the two of them sharing, but after having lived with both of them I have some concerns. My concerns about them sharing are 1) Waking each other up. If on occasion she would wake to nurse at night, she would wake him up. Or during nap time, he plays and talks for an hour before falling asleep. She would never be able to nap in there.  2) My son can climb out of his crib. This worries me that we would go over and bother her or even attempt to climb in her crib which is not safe especially b/c he likes to hit her unfortunately.

So this should probably be a decision we could make ourselves, but whenever I sit and think about it, I just don't like the options here.  Any help would be appreciated.

[Cyllya]

I do think it's a bummer when kids have to share a room. It's one thing when they're little, but once they become teenagers, they might want a peaceful place to masturbate, ya know?! Plus if your kid is an introvert, not having their own space will make them seriously stressed out. Personally, I can hardly share a room with my DP, but at least he's my romantic partner instead of my sibling.

Of course, if you don't have the extra room, you don't have the extra room. Just don't be surprised that your kids take suspiciously long showers.

[Storm Bride]

I think whether it's a net upside or a net downside of life depends on the kids in question. My three youngest all share a room. The oldest has his own. When he moves out in a couple of years, my son will get his room, so the two girls get the other one. It's not ideal, as dd1 is the one that would most like to have her own space, but it is what it is. We have three bedrooms, and there are six people living here. We can't give everybody their own room, so nobody gets their own room.

I know it sometimes sucks for dd1. But, in other ways, she loves it. I do think they're all learning a lot about coexisting with others, looking after their own things (eg. do not leave your favourite toy where your toddler sister can get at it), making compromises, etc. But, it would probably be more restful around here if dd1 had her own room. Right now, at least, ds2 and dd2 would hate it. They like the company.

I shared a room with my sister until we moved when I was eight. I love it. She loved it, too - and came into my room to sleep for the first few days in the new house.

[Justmee]

Technically we could split the kids now that we moved (we have 5 bedrooms, although 2 are quite tiny), but they are all 4 in one room. Originally one of the twins (8G) and ds (4) were supposed to share, while the two other girls (8 & 6.5) shared. This was based on personality and needs of the kids, not on ages obviously. In the end, all 4 wanted to share so they are all together.

I do feel it is important for each child to have his / her own space. I specifically do not use pull out or trundle beds, so they each have access to their bed at all times, and they also each have their own drawer where they can put whatever they like.

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by bbbbaby 

Let me say this: when I was pregnant, we planned on the two of them sharing, but after having lived with both of them I have some concerns. My concerns about them sharing are 1) Waking each other up. If on occasion she would wake to nurse at night, she would wake him up. Or during nap time, he plays and talks for an hour before falling asleep. She would never be able to nap in there.  2) My son can climb out of his crib. This worries me that we would go over and bother her or even attempt to climb in her crib which is not safe especially b/c he likes to hit her unfortunately.

This would be my biggest concern. I wouldn't want to leave them unsupervised for long periods. Until he can be trusted, I would make some other sleeping arrangement. If you are all still comfortable with her in your room, why not maintain that arrangement for a little longer? 7 months isn't that unusual for co-sleeping. 

[Polliwog]

My DS is 7 1/2 and my DD just turned 5. They share a room since we have a two bedroom house. Even when we move, if we have three bedrooms, I'd likely have the kids share and use one for a playroom.

[onlyzombiecat]

I grew up mostly sharing a room and sometimes even a bed with my sister who is 3 years older than me. We shared a closet, dresser, and desk.

When we were younger it was kind of reassuring to have her nearby but we would also keep each other awake at times or fight over the space.

It was most difficult when she was a teenager and we had absolutely no where else in the house to go for privacy. She was unfairly angry and resentful toward me. Having our own room was not an option.

I think the experience taught me to share my space. When I went to college it was pretty easy having a roommate.

I was always much happier having my own room though and I would not make older children share a room if space wasn't an issue. If they had to share I'd try to ensure they each had a private space of their own somewhere.

Some people just need their own sleeping space more than others though. My dd would be unhappy sharing a room with anyone because she is so sensitive to noise. She has to have the radio on at night to drown out any sounds. She has always had sleep issues that would make sharing a room difficult. If another child came along neither one would be sleeping if they had to share that space.

Edited by onlyzombiecat - 2/21/12 at 11:43am

[allthesekids]

I have two girls that are fourteen months apart and they absolutely cannot share. Their fighting makes the whole family miserable. However, I have two little kids, 4 and 11 months that share currently and it works for now.