Anyone else out there UC'd with a surprise of twins?~ultrasound???

[slingmama4]

I am 23 weeks pregnant with our 5th baby. This will be our 3rd homebirth, but 1st UC. (Although, my previous HB were very hands-off by my midwife.) We are very excited and I dream of my UC birth everyday! My question is about UCing and ultrasounds.

We have had an ultrasound to find out the gender with our four previous babies. I have wanted to wait everytime and have my four previous baby's gender been a surprise at birth, but have always been talked into by DH and family.

Well, this time around I made up my mind that I WOULD wait! The problem is I have been measuring larger since about 9wks, feeling movement flutters since 10wks, and have an intuitive feeling that I'm carrying twins since day 1. DH thinks the same, so much that he wants us to have an ultrasound to determine one or two. "So we can prepare," he says. Part of me wants to "know for sure," but the other part of me says it doesn't matter. If it's twins, then we'll find out at birth. My other issue is that I KNOW if we go get the US, my DH wil find out the sex regardless of if it's a singleton or twins. He says we would not find out if that was my wishes, but then I fear that the US tech would screw up and spoil the surprise too. I would be soooo dissappointed if that happened.

So, I guess my question is what would you do? Would you have the US to settle any anxiety about UCing twins and it may spoil the gender surprise or just wait and have confidence that I can UC twins (at the right gestational age) and put out the idea of "having to know" out of my head and go against my DH's wishes to know?

Anyone else out there UC'd with a surprise of twins?

[TzippityDoulah]

I don't know what to tell you... all you will likley get here is OTHER people's opinions... but nothing in fact. There are cons and pros to finding out. certainly it would be very nice to see that you indeed had two! then you could plan ahead a bit.... but on the other hand, since you know it's a possibility, would it be all that different anyhow? It totoally depends on you...

one option for US, is there is no need to find out the sex... and no need to do the whole thing. just go in, tell them you want to check for two babies, and thats all. no tests or anything like that. they might be surprised, but it's within your rights to ask for certainly. (you might have to explain this a few times hehe) once the tech sees one or two, hop down off the table

[slingmama4]

Thx mama! I'd love to see the baby(ies) too, but feel like I won't have the strength to stand up against evryone in the romm (tech, DH, and our four kids) to hop down off the table. That is definitly worth trying though. I have to stop fretting about this so much and just enjoy being pregnant. Whatever happens, happens. If DH continues to push, then I guess I'll go and be happy. BTW- there are multiple sets of twins in our family on both sides.

[jenmidwife2b]

If you are just wanting to see if you are having twins, can you go see your former midwife to have her palpate and listen for heart tones? That way you're not going to be tempted to find out the gender, and you'll have your answer on whether or not its twins.

[snowmom5]

Barging in here, if you honestly think there's a good chance of twins, I'd get the u/s. At a minimum, even if you would plan to UC them, I'd think it may be important to do a little reading on the subject, about the additional risks involved in a twin pregnancy. But that's just my opinion.

If you don't want to know the gender, tell the tech at the outset. I have had a zillion u/s's in the course of my five pregnancies and (knock on wood!!!) they have yet to accidentally spoil the surprise. Good luck!

[mummytobe]

we are in same boat I am preparing for 2 to be on safe side xx

[BroodyWoodsgal]

Welll....with four children already in the house, I'm assuming you have plenty of baby clothes hanging around, a sling, I know you have boobies....I'm not sure what else you need in the way of things to prepare for two, as apposed to one!! : I think your DH just wants to find out the sex of the baby(ies)!!!

I think that the ONLY way, in this situation, that you are going to be able to find out, without spoiling your awesome surprise, is by palp/heartbeat(s)....that was the old way of doing it, it works just as well now, and doesn't spoil anything. I think you know that if you go for the US, with all of those kids and your DH there begging and egging you on....you're going to end up walking out of their knowing the sex(ex) of your baby(ies)!!

So...yeah, go to your old midwife or even listen yourself...but do find out, it is important for YOUR birth preparation to find out if you will be delivering one or two babies! Also, there is a lot you can do, in terms of your diet, etc, to keep them in as long as possible! These are all things you will want to researc/consider!!

Wooohoo, good luck lady!! It really sounds like you may have two in there, huh?? Lucky duck!!! :

[alegna]

I'd sit down and really think about it and figure out what (if anything) you would do differently if it's twins and use that list to decide if it's worth it for you or not.

-Angela

[slingmama4]

Originally Posted by AverysMomma

Welll....with four children already in the house, I'm assuming you have plenty of baby clothes hanging around, a sling, I know you have boobies....I'm not sure what else you need in the way of things to prepare for two, as apposed to one!! : I think your DH just wants to find out the sex of the baby(ies)!!!

I think that the ONLY way, in this situation, that you are going to be able to find out, without spoiling your awesome surprise, is by palp/heartbeat(s)....that was the old way of doing it, it works just as well now, and doesn't spoil anything. I think you know that if you go for the US, with all of those kids and your DH there begging and egging you on....you're going to end up walking out of their knowing the sex(ex) of your baby(ies)!!

So...yeah, go to your old midwife or even listen yourself...but do find out, it is important for YOUR birth preparation to find out if you will be delivering one or two babies! Also, there is a lot you can do, in terms of your diet, etc, to keep them in as long as possible! These are all things you will want to researc/consider!!

Wooohoo, good luck lady!! It really sounds like you may have two in there, huh?? Lucky duck!!! :

I totally agree with you. He definitly has a motive to go. I love your comment in red above. I definitly have already been preparing for UCing twins, furthering there time inutero, etc... through lots and lots of reading. My DH doesn't like surprises (any surprise), so it's difficult for him to embrace not knowing/mentally preparing for twins. Thx for the honest input.

[Equuskia]

I would go just to make sure they were ok and in seperate sacs. Congrats on your pregnancy and I hope everything goes smoothly, however many come out!

[TzippityDoulah]

any chance fo you scheduling a US when your husband is at work and your kids are with a sitter or something? would he be hurt/upset if you did that?

[rjruiz_415]

Yeah, If i thought I was having twins, I would def have an U/S to check that they were in separate sacks. Either way... I am having an ultrasound and told DH that if he wanted to come, he better not make any comments about finding out the sex. He is not coming-lol

[caro113]

I haven't read the responses, but here is my idea. Could you go to your old mw for just one appt and have her check? She obviously knows what she is feeling when she presses down on your stomach so she would know if she feels two heads. I dunno, but that would be my suggestion. Hope it works out for you!

[mellowyellowmama]

Originally Posted by AverysMomma

Welll....with four children already in the house, I'm assuming you have plenty of baby clothes hanging around, a sling, I know you have boobies....I'm not sure what else you need in the way of things to prepare for two, as apposed to one!! : I think your DH just wants to find out the sex of the baby(ies)!!!

[slingmama4]

Originally Posted by HennyPenny

any chance fo you scheduling a US when your husband is at work and your kids are with a sitter or something? would he be hurt/upset if you did that?

My husband and I are always honest with each other and he would definitly be upset about not including him. Plus, I'd feel wrong trying to keep the whole thing a secret.

Originally Posted by caro113

I haven't read the responses, but here is my idea. Could you go to your old mw for just one appt and have her check? She obviously knows what she is feeling when she presses down on your stomach so she would know if she feels two heads. I dunno, but that would be my suggestion. Hope it works out for you!

We have talked about this option;however, since this is my 5th I feel pretty comfident of what I feel and use a fetalscope to listen to FHT. The problem is... I very strongly believe that I have an anterior placenta with this pregnancy (due to palpating my tummy and most of all I always feel kicks very low, always on the right, and in the far back (I know sounds strange), but NEVER on the left. This is completely different than my other pregnancies. The anterior placenta makes it difficult to get a good palpation of one or two babies (Always definitly feel a baby on the right very clearly.) and due to the previous babies my abdomonal thickness (and a tilted uterus?) makes it nearly impossible to hear good FHT until 6m+ (which I'm almost there.) We (my midwife and I) delt with the difficultly of finding steady and good FHT with my prior two pregnancies (homebirths). So, I don't believe going to see her would really help. Plus, we live in NC now and she is in GA.

Originally Posted by rjruiz_415

Yeah, If i thought I was having twins, I would def have an U/S to check that they were in separate sacks. Either way... I am having an ultrasound and told DH that if he wanted to come, he better not make any comments about finding out the sex. He is not coming-lol

DH and I talked last night and finaly I decided to stop focusing on feeling like something was going to be ruined and just enjoy seeing the bab(ies). We decided to go get a free u/s at the Institute of Medical Ultrasound this Wednesday. They take a very intricate look at the baby and all of its' parts, but they do not offer the sex. Although, I'm sure I'll know by looking ( I do have three boys and they definitly looked different than my dd). I'm hoping that baby will be shy and the surprise will remain, but at least we'll have peace about the possibility of twins. I'd also like to see if I'm right about the anterior placenta, too. My husband and sons are very excited now that I've given in.:

[mellowyellowmama]

Originally Posted by slingmama4

DH and I talked last night and finaly I decided to stop focusing on feeling like something was going to be ruined and just enjoy seeing the bab(ies). We decided to go get a free u/s at the Institute of Medical Ultrasound this Wednesday. They take a very intricate look at the baby and all of its' parts, but they do not offer the sex. Although, I'm sure I'll know by looking ( I do have three boys and they definitly looked different than my dd). I'm hoping that baby will be shy and the surprise will remain, but at least we'll have peace about the possibility of twins. I'd also like to see if I'm right about the anterior placenta, too. My husband and sons are very excited now that I've given in.:

I'm glad you are doing what's right for you and your family! Update us when you know!

[christyc]

Originally Posted by Equuskia

I would go just to make sure they were ok and in seperate sacs. Congrats on your pregnancy and I hope everything goes smoothly, however many come out!

That's what I would do. I've done a boatload of research on twins. I DO NOT believe that twins are high risk just because they're twins, and seriously considered UC-ing my own twins when I was pregnant with them. However, most twin moms (and ALL midwives and doctors I've ever known or read from) agree that finding out chorionicity can be important. It's not a matter of how many baby clothes you have around-- it's whether or not the babies share a sac or placenta, which can influence the course of the pregnancy and birth. I know my midwife with my twins had plenty of surprise twin homebirths (many were one placenta, one was even a shared sac!!), so it can be done and is done. But most twin moms I know (naturally-oriented, naturally-birthing ones, even) find out chorionicity.

From your recent update, it looks like you'll know something soon! I hope it is what you want! :

[BroodyWoodsgal]

Ooooo, Wednesday, that's tomorrow!!! I can't WAIT to see what you find out!!! I'm crossing my fingers that your intuition is DEAD ON!!!!

:

[slingmama4]

Thx mamas! We're planning on going tmw around 2p. I'll update tmw afternoon. Crazy, I'm acually scared I'm wrong and everyone will think I'm just silly and don't know my body. Oh well, just want a healthy baby!

[mellowyellowmama]

Originally Posted by slingmama4

Thx mamas! We're planning on going tmw around 2p. I'll update tmw afternoon. Crazy, I'm acually scared I'm wrong and everyone will think I'm just silly and don't know my body. Oh well, just want a healthy baby!

You are not the first mom to think she might be carrying twins to discover there's one baby! Don't be hard on yourself. No one here will think that of you! Can't wait to find out!!!