Who here lost her mom?

[Mom2Princess]

Mine died last january,8 weeks ago tomorrow. Its hard.

She was only 61 years old, waaaaayyy too young to die. She was diagnosed with cancer in march last year.

The irony is this; dad was diagnosed with cancer in the summer of 07, had surgery (bowel tumor), radiation, a bag, the bag came off in november and he ehaled well. February last year the cancer was back, in his liver, so he was started on chemo. He didnt get sick, nauseated or bald from it. He tolerated it extremely well. Mom asked the specialist if maybe he could do something about her 'belly ache'. She ahd tests before, and they all came back fine. She got a scan and blood works and was diagnsoed with cancer, spread throughout her abdomen. She had chemo, got horribly sick and bald, decided to stop since it was only prolonging instead of making her better.
She was never hospitalised, she stayed home the entire time, started morphine in december, and died at home in the middle of january. Dad took care of her the entire time, which was hard on him because he's seriously ill as well.

No matter how old you are, losing a parent is always hard.

[Ifluffedthree]

I lost my mom to an overdose of pills in 1968 -- I was 4.

I lost my dad to an embolism that resulted from the radical cysectomy surgery -- that beat the cancer. He never made it home from the surgery.

I have also had an emergency total colectomy and reconstructive J Pouch - and a bag -- and then a resection of the small bowels which was minor in comparison to the first surgery. While I am not dealing with the cancer I will say that having similar surgical procedure it is a difficult recovery all by itself.

Loosing a parent, sib or partner is such a difficult process, age makes no difference different ages bring different hardships.

I am sorry for the loss of your mom - its very difficult and will be for some time. Be gentle to you during this difficult walk called grief. HUG

[CariOfOz]

I lost my mom one year ago tomorrow. She found out in October 2007 that she had lung cancer... the only symptom she had was an ache in her side, which turned out to be a tumor that had spread into her abdomen and pressed on her kidney. She was 54yrs old.. and had lost HER mother to the exact same disease when she was only 59yrs old.

It was, and still is sometimes, hard for me not to be angry because she saw her future and went back to smoking anyway (she quit for several years after my grandmother died) and then I have a lot of guilt for feeling that way

[MamaJenese]

I lost my mon 20 months ago to a quick and ugly battle with brain cancer. I have a similar story to yours OP in that my father was diagnosed with lukemia 17 years and told he had 1 year to 5 at best. His disease has never progressed it sort of stalled and has never been ill at all. All along we were waiting for my father to become ill and pass and then boom my mom was gone. Day by day I am making peace with my mothers passing, but man do I miss her.

[KJoslyn78]

I lost my mom (physically) July 2007 - but her death was due to her alcoholism, so i often feel like i lost her years before her physical death

So much more i could say... but mostly sorry that you lost your mom

also, wanted to let you know there is a tribe for motherless moms here on MDC also

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=843397

[shayinme]

I lost my own Mom 5 years ago this month, she was only 50. Its been a hard journey.

[Incubator]

I also lost my mother, on November 14 2007. She had rectal cancer, but that's not what killed her. She got an infection of a mechanical heart valve (that was placed in 2001) from her picc line. It took the hospital here three days to figure out what had happened and send her to a heart hospital in Houston. By the time it was repaired, she had had no circulation to her body for nearly three days, and after two months, we decided to shut off her machines. She was 47. Losing a mother is hard, and I'm sorry that you are going through this. I remember what it was like being where you are now, and it does get easier as time goes by. I can say for myself, you never get over it, eventually, you just learn to live with it.
I am so sorry for your loss.

[Cherie2]

my mom died in oct of 07 it was a sudden stroke, she was 63. i have a tribute blog to her in my siggy.

[Katie Bugs Mama]

My mom died April 10, 1999, after a 2.5 year battle with breast cancer. She was 49. I can't believe that it will be 10 years in a few weeks. When she was dying, I couldn't imagine living in a world without her for 10 minutes much less 10 years.

Take care of yourself. IME, the pain won't go away -- it won't even "lessen" exactly -- but it will become something that you can live with.

I find that even now the grief shapes the way that I view almost everything, and it still crops up in unexpected ways. For example, the hardest thing for me lately has been that a member of my extended family committed suicide the day after Christmas. I was shocked by the rage that I felt. I couldn't get passed the fact that he had just spent Christmas with his grandchildren. My mother never got to meet her granddaughter and would have given anything for one minute of what he threw away.

[AnalogWife]

I'm so sorry about your loss.


I was 12 when my mother died, she was 40, cancer (melanoma.) It's huge and sometimes I think my friends don't understand the difference it makes to your life (just hearing Prince Wm tell kids that you "never get to say Mummy again.." made my chin quiver...after 24 years!) One thing I will say is that I'm a little relieved that it's done and over, that I don't have to live through my adulthood knowing that my mother will die.

[Cherie2]

I miss my mom, and I miss my aunt (who was also like a best friend) she died 9 months after my mom ... I miss them

[karlin]

I lost my mom 6.5 years ago to a heart attack (heavy smoker). She was only 63. You're not alone.

[cristeen]

The pain never goes away. But one day there will be a time when you can remember the good times without tears. And there will come a day when it is not the all-consuming thought at the front of your mind from the time you wake up until the time you sleep. Allow yourself time to grieve. Be kind to yourself.

I lost my mom 20 years ago, and it still hurts.

[Theoretica]

My mom died when I was 12 from cancer. She was 43. 44 the next day, because it was her birthday. And Halloween.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't look at my own kids and miss her so terribly. I can't fathom what it was like for her to know she was going to die and leave me. That thought alone just kills me sometimes. The ache doesn't go away. Supposedly it gets better. But it's been a long time. And while it doesn't rip my soul apart anymore, it's just more of a dull gnawing at the insides of my memories.

The hardest for me is wondering if I'll die before MY kids are grown. I can't stand the thought of them going through what I did. Or missing their life the way she had to miss mine.

Ok well now I'm crying so I'm gonna go....ugh....

[angie7]

to you all

[Cherie2]

Originally Posted by Theoretica

My mom died when I was 12 from cancer. She was 43. 44 the next day, because it was her birthday. And Halloween.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't look at my own kids and miss her so terribly. I can't fathom what it was like for her to know she was going to die and leave me. That thought alone just kills me sometimes. The ache doesn't go away. Supposedly it gets better. But it's been a long time. And while it doesn't rip my soul apart anymore, it's just more of a dull gnawing at the insides of my memories.

The hardest for me is wondering if I'll die before MY kids are grown. I can't stand the thought of them going through what I did. Or missing their life the way she had to miss mine.

Ok well now I'm crying so I'm gonna go....ugh....

My mother's mother died when my mother was 13 years old. She never did recover from that. I think she did everything she could to prepare us for her death and even though we never wanted to hear about it when she was alive i think it really helped a lot. and when she did die she also seemed to be there to comfort us. it was so much less painful than i imagined it would be and i think she did that. she lived with so much pain from her mothers loss i think she did not want that for us.

[katzee]

Tomorrow's my Mom's birthday. She passed away in October. She would have been 77. I miss her every day.

My daughter is 2.5. I was 2 when my Nana passed away and I really have no memory of her other than pictures I've seen. So sad that mine probably won't remember her Nana either.

My Dad passed away in 2006. He had been sick for a couple years. Mom's passing was a shock to everyone. She just had a bad cough that wouldn't go away, finally went in the hospital when her breathing got worse. They never did figure out what exactly caused her death.

Your Mom is like your best pal - so hard not to have her around anymore.

[lerlerler]

Feb 18, 1996. She was 60, I was 30.
Long drawn out death from mesothelioma.

But, her last days were awesome (blessed are the hospice workers).

Even still, it was EIGHT YEARS until I had a dream in which my Mom was healthy. (she was a redhead in her healthy years, then a baldie due to chemo, then a greyhead as her hair grew back)

She never met my children, or knew I married my love. ALthough she knew my DH and loved him.

I love her.

I miss her

We move on.... more saddened, not quite whole, but still capable of joy.

And while neither of my children look at all like her, the hairline on the back of my son's neck brings tears to my eyes. it's hers

[tug]

my mom died in 1997 at 73, also cancer. as many of you have expressed, i miss her every day, especially now that i have kids. the pain gets less sharp, but it always aches (sorry, i guess that's not very comforting)

and i also thought that my kids looked nothing like her, but then yesterday, i looked at a photo of my son, and he looked exactly like my mom in the photo. not even just that his eyes and his nose and his mouth were the same, but the way he was standing and the way he was holding his hand were all exactly like her. it threw me for such a loop, and my sister saw it immediately in the photo too. and for just a half of a second, it was like looking at my mom.

[notwonamesalike]

My mom died 5 years ago. 6 weeks after a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. She was 52.

My Dad died 13 years ago. 8 years after a diagnosis of colon cancer. He was 47.

I was 18 and 26 respectively when I lost both my parents.

I miss them every day.