So I have posted on here before about my dd’s struggles with her new French Montessori school. Dw & I like the school, it seems like a lovely place, caring, creative, great efforts to foster community among the kids etc. We really like dd’s teacher who we feel is responsive to our concerns, sensitive to dd`s needs and really trying to work with us to help dd have a good experience.
But…we are now 6 weeks in and dd does NOT like the school. She still cries 3 out of 5 mornings at drop off, and if we tell her she has to go to school in the morning her whole demeanour changes from cheerful & chatty to angry. She talks about how hard it is that none of the other kids can talk to her (except for one girl who is bilingual, most of the students are unilingual francophone, or at least are not encouraged to speak English in class). She is anxious about school everyday, feels she doesn`t have any friends. Basically it is a huge source of stress in her life.
But…she does seem to like specific activities, likes the fact that she is learning French, likes that she will eventually be bilingual.
I think we underestimated how hard the language thing would be. She is a very verbal child who loves to talk, and I think taking that away from her is a bigger deal than we could have anticipated. Add to that the structure of Montessori which is a big change, and the fact that there is one teacher for 16 students (a very high ratio) and we think dd feels lost. According to the teacher, she cries at school at least 3-4 times per week as well.
I feel like we are ruining school for her. She’s not quite four and dislikes it this much?
Of course if we pull her out, we are out of options—there are no other preschools in a reasonable distance and we do not want to drive 25 min plus with the toddler. We could pull her out now & try her again in September. I am a WOHM right now, so it’s my partner who’d have to deal with filling her days with activities, and she is an intense, demanding almost 4 yo. We also have a 1 year old at home who takes lots of time & energy. And I am not the one who is home, so I don`t really feel like it’s fair to dw & dd2 to insist. But….she is clearly unhappy. What should we do…we have agreed to re-evaluate again at Easter to see how she is doing then. We may also ask for a meeting with the teacher. What are your thoughts?
But…we are now 6 weeks in and dd does NOT like the school. She still cries 3 out of 5 mornings at drop off, and if we tell her she has to go to school in the morning her whole demeanour changes from cheerful & chatty to angry. She talks about how hard it is that none of the other kids can talk to her (except for one girl who is bilingual, most of the students are unilingual francophone, or at least are not encouraged to speak English in class). She is anxious about school everyday, feels she doesn`t have any friends. Basically it is a huge source of stress in her life.
But…she does seem to like specific activities, likes the fact that she is learning French, likes that she will eventually be bilingual.
I think we underestimated how hard the language thing would be. She is a very verbal child who loves to talk, and I think taking that away from her is a bigger deal than we could have anticipated. Add to that the structure of Montessori which is a big change, and the fact that there is one teacher for 16 students (a very high ratio) and we think dd feels lost. According to the teacher, she cries at school at least 3-4 times per week as well.
I feel like we are ruining school for her. She’s not quite four and dislikes it this much?
Of course if we pull her out, we are out of options—there are no other preschools in a reasonable distance and we do not want to drive 25 min plus with the toddler. We could pull her out now & try her again in September. I am a WOHM right now, so it’s my partner who’d have to deal with filling her days with activities, and she is an intense, demanding almost 4 yo. We also have a 1 year old at home who takes lots of time & energy. And I am not the one who is home, so I don`t really feel like it’s fair to dw & dd2 to insist. But….she is clearly unhappy. What should we do…we have agreed to re-evaluate again at Easter to see how she is doing then. We may also ask for a meeting with the teacher. What are your thoughts?
I'm the parent at home. I just posted the same questions from my perspective in the general school forum. See my perspective there...
There were several days when he was frustrated//tired upon returning. There were several days when he did not want to attend, cried, etc. Usually he and my husband (who did drop-off) would go together with the understanding that he'd not stay if not enjoying himself. He always stayed. He did not make close friends while there, and I'm anxious to see how it goes this summer, as the 4 year old is a much more social child than the 3 year old. He did attend part of the week they were there in Jan of this year as well, and while he enjoyed playing, he didn't want to go every day. The kids were all friends with each other, and he was the outsider, kwim? This summer he and his sister will begin at the same time, and it is a transitional time at the school b/c of the holidays, so that should help.
