Yay - dd told me "I'm frustrated".....

[JeanetteL]

I know it is such a little thing - but we've been working so hard with labeling emotions and working with dd (two years old) to help her express how she is feeling without yelling/screaming/throwing - this feels like a major accomplishment.

Bella was in the kitchen last night, and was getting upset over something (I can't even remember what - I think the Grinch stole my brain) and I was in the next room waiting it out for a minute to see how she would do. After a few minutes of whining/yelling, I heard her take a breath and walk to the stairs. She looked down and me and said "Mommy, I"m feeling frustrated".

I was so excited and proud! I've been noticing increasing evidence of empathy and emotional understanding, and she's been labeling MY emotions for the past few weeks - but this is the first time that she's actually stopped herself from getting wound up - and come to me to tell me how she is feeling.

Of course, later on that evening she got mad at her snow globe and threw it onto the tile floor (SMASH). Oh well, Rome was not built in a day! Since I brought that up however, I'd love any suggestions on how to teach her alternatives when she is feeling frustrated, so that she does not break things/hurt people by throwing.

Jeanette

[Piglet68]

First of all:

Way to go, mama!!!!!!!

As for the question, could you maybe just talk more about it during calm times and role-play? Pretend something has happened to upset you or her and then go over different scenarios for dealing with it?

You're right, Rome wasn't built in a day. I'll bet most 2 year olds can't even SAY "frustrated" let alone understand it. Seriously, girl, I am in awe of you and VERY motivated to keeping doing what I've been doing (identifying and labelling different emotions).

[JeanetteL]

Piglet,
I think we're just a mutual admiration society - since I'm always so impressed by your wisdom and dedication. Gush, gush.

I knew I could count on you to rejoice with me - it really is such a small thing, and such a huge milestone all at the same time.

I finally got "Kids, Parents and Power Struggles" (Mary Sheedy Kurchinka) from the library today - and although I'm not too far into it - I already had an "aha moment" when she talked about setting standards for ourselves as well as for our children. I'm going to do some deep thinking about that over the next few days.

I agree, roll playing is probably the way to go - but it is so much harder to figure out how to set it up with a two year old than it would be with an older child......

Keep it up Piglet, I can't believe how all of a sudden she seems so aware of how people are feeling - right down to telling me that the Grinch needed a hug, and giving me her teddy when I said I was sick. You are just a bit behind me age wise - so I bet you see the fruit of your labour very, very soon!

Jeanette

[ja mama]

Isn't it so validating to hear that from her? Moms don't have a boss saying "atta girl" when we do something right (for long enough...), so it's awesome when you get that halleluiah (sp?) chorus feeling. Just wait until she says it around your friends or family. Then she'll just melt them all into amazed puddles of astonishment.

[Liz]

My nephew said, "FRUS--TRAT--TING!!!!" at 18 months when he couldn't do a zipper up. We all cracked up and it became one of those classic family stories. I can't see the word without thinking of him so I had to share the story.

Labelling emotions has backfired on me. My son vehemently denies most emotions, for example, "I AM NOT ANGRY!!!!"

Congratulations, you're doing a great job!

[JeanetteL]

Another breakthrough - just a minute ago she was getting a little wound up, and I was anticipating a cranky time. Before I even decided what route to take, I heard her saying "Mommy, I need a quiet time"!

WooHoo!

Jeanette

[monkeysmommy]

WOW!! I am impressed! My almost 21 month old had the HUGEST meltdown yesterday because she could not figure out how to get her shoes on by herself. She was absolutely hysterical for about 30 minutes! She was screaming in such a way that she sounded possessed, and she almost threw up! And she wouldn't let me or dh help her-- it was truly awful. I kept thinking she would get the bad feelings out and then calm down, but she didn't so the only thing I could think of was to take her outside to get some fresh air, and I told her the shoes were going night-night and she would see them again tomorrow and she could try again then.

I would *love* to hear more details about how you got your daughter to say that!