New to hs'ing and wondering if this is going to work

[Drewsmom]

OK so I had a somewhat negative experience yesterday. We went to a hs'ing function, it was our second meeting of other hs'ers. Frankly some of the high school age kids really seemed to be way behind the 8 ball and not what I think of as a typical, bright, friendly homeschooling child. It scared me that my ds#1 might turn out that way if we keep going.

I know that hs'ing him has been immensely helpful with his self-esteem already but he fights doing ANY type of work...I mean chores, *anything* that's even mildly hard. It's something that I've been trying to figure out with an OT or therapist to figure out why he has such a low threshold for frustration and gives up so easily. I try to do very fun games with him as far as reading, spelling, & math which he does eventually but i really fear that he's going to waste away b/c I just don't have the energy to stay on top of his educational experience and motivation to figure out every "fun" way to keep him interested in learning.

[momtokea]

What do you mean when you say they were way behind the 8 ball? What specifically were they behind in?

[3momkmb]

Originally Posted by momtokea

What do you mean when you say they were way behind the 8 ball? What specifically were they behind in?

That's what I'm wondering too. It would be a lot easier to address your concerns if I had more information on what they were.

[Linda on the move]

Different kids homeschool for different reasons, and many highschool aged homeschoolers weren't homeschooled when they were younger. Parents of kids who learn outside the box or are late bloomers may pull their child out at some point. It isn't that homeschooling made them the way they are, it's that the way they aren't doesn't fit in with school.

My homeschooled child (who has always homeschooled) has mild special needs. So mild that if you met her briefly, you wouldn't notice, but if you watched her from a distance for a while you might judge her in ways that would be very inappropriate and unfair. She doesn't come across as the "typical, bright, friendly homeschooler." She just is herself, which is fine.

[lorrielink]

your worries seem pretty "normal" to me. i dont know how new you are to homeschooling or how old you kid is but if youre in your first 2 years and your kid is younger than 10 id say your spot on.

i know what you mean about trying to make everything fun. it took me a long while to hit a balance. im sorry you had a negative experiance. just dont let it cloud the whole picture. youll meet people you dont like everywhere you go.

my son just turned 10 last week and i think we only recently finally hit a stride with chores and basic stuff like that. but a lot of it had to do with my expectations needing a tweak or two, not just his actions. he will still groan now and then and i expect he will continue to at least occasionally avoid "work" or give a groan or two or even have a blow up about certain things till he meets a girl he'll listen to more than his mother *sniff*. i know my husband and i certainly had a few "conversations" about cleaning in the first few years.

if youre really new, remember this is a whole new world for you and your family and there is much time to figure it all out. if youre too stressed, your kid will pick up on it. you might consider taking a break from all your usual stuff, whatever that may be till you catch your breath.

i would suggest you share some more details about your situation or concerns or just ask for support. most homeschoolers and well, parents in general have doubts about their choices from time to time. this should be a safe place to seek information and support. their are guidlines for this forum to that purpose.
there are many threads here that have been started by worried homeschoolers, most of which have gotten support. try a search for those.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by fionnsmom

if youre really new, remember this is a whole new world for you and your family and there is much time to figure it all out. if youre too stressed, your kid will pick up on it. you might consider taking a break from all your usual stuff, whatever that may be till you catch your breath.

I think that really seems like a good idea . You could still play some games, but they could be a lot different without intent behind them. Sounds like maybe you could both use some extra healing time, especially if you never allowed for some decompression/deschooling time when you began.

As for what you may have observed, keep in mind that people do homeschool for lots of different reasons, and whoever it was that you observed today might, as Linda mentioned, have earlier been having trouble with school for any variety of reasons, or might never have been a good fit with school in the first place - but you just never know what people's personal stories are or how gifted or talented they might be in ways that aren't obvious to you at this point. I've seen lots of children grow up and find their own paths after floundering for a while, and it's pretty heartening to see how things can snap into place. Lillian

[elizawill]

hi kristen,

i know it's easier said then done, but i would try not to worry. your son just turned 8, right? only focus on "right now", otherwise you really will get overwhelmed. although i do hope we will always homeschool, that concept makes my head hurt. i can't even think about my dd homeschooling at high school age. i have to focus moment by moment & year by year.

my homeschool group is also in charlotte & it's a large group. because of that, there is diversity. although you may have met a few homeschoolers that were less than impressive in your opinion, i would'nt concern yourself with that at all. ykwim? it's hard to know what's going on with them without really knowing them. what group are you a part of? i can tell you other places to network & meet new people. anyway....have fun! no worries!! hugs to you.

[Lillian J]

I would strongly suggest not ever getting specific about any local groups anywhere. This is a public forum that's wide open to anyone to read and relate comments back to people in the community you might have to deal with, and hope to make friends within, for many years to come - no sense getting off on the wrong foot. If I'd made public comments about some of the people I came across in my local group over the years...whew... And, come to think of it, I did become and remain good friends with some of the people I could have made the strongest negative remarks about in the beginning! Situations change, people change, understandings clear up - you just never know, but you sure don't want to start out broadcasting your first impressions or later conflicts within a group. Lillian

[elizawill]

oh yes! good point lillian! kristen, i should have clearly specified to pm me! i'm happy to give you information