cooking with kids

[kacymoose]

I don't know why my kids continue to want to help me cook. As hard as I try to relax while making stuff with them, I still get uptight when they are helping. I always end up snapping at them, then I hate myself. I always seem to ruin the time for us. Today we were making muffins, and my daughter asked me for the 10th time is she could lick the beater. I said "no" in a mean voice It wasn't time yet, I had already told her several times that she could once we got everything mixed, and if someone would have accidently turned the beaters on - she could have been hurt. Of course I hurt her feelings and diminished the experience for everyone.

Something about 3 kids trying to talk to me while I am trying to coach them to follow the recipe brings out the worst in me. My kids are 7 & 5, and I thought it would get easier as they got older in regards to cooking. It is still tough, especially when we are trying out a new recipe. Things go much smoother, with the stuff we have made a lot, like pizza.

I always come away from the experience feeling like the worse mom ever.

Does anyone else feel this way about cooking with their kids? What do you do to make things easier or to help yourself relax about it?

[woodchick]

DD1 is not yet 3, she loves to cook with me, but we're not quite caught up with your kids.

Here's my thought for making things less hectic. Can you rewrite the recipes that you use? Include everything in the original recipe, but add the things that your kids are asking about or that you are anxious over. So 'wash your hands' would be at the beginning and 'lick the beaters' would be near the end of the recipe. That way every activity has a set place in the timeline and everyone knows when it is coming.

I hope that helps!

[leximom]

oh yeah! Well my dd is not even 4 yet, but she loves to help me cook and bake. When she does help me it's a planned thing and I have all the ingredients out and sometimes even measured out already. I have to remind myself that it's not all about the outcome of the product but of the experience she had doing it and to try to relax.

[Bell]

I know... it's not easy to have them around when we are in a hurry! I have only 1 and I'm not that patient....

[beanma]

It's always better if they help me cook things that aren't part of a meal and I'm not rushed. Making some cookies in the afternoon or something is much easier than trying to deal with them helping me make supper.

[4Marmalade]

We have similar experiences here. My two older ones are 6 and almost 4. The fighting over who gets to measure, dump, stir, etc... drives me a little :. Sorry I don't have any advice. Like the pp's have said...relaxing and doing it when you have lots of time seem to help here.

[Girlprof]

I only have one child old enough to help so it's hard to compare. But, I know I am always better at having adult helpers whereas DH will get antsy or just not let anyone help. He misses out on a lot because DS is fun to cook with.

How do we make it fun? Don't worry about the end product. I give a fair amount of leeway on possible cooking errors. But NO leeway on safety errors. So, for beater licking that was just gross - I'd let it slide. Beater licking that was dangerous would get chastised once and if repeated, then no more access to the beater.

So, if she was asking 10 times in a row to lick beaters that weren't lickable, I'd just say no 10 times in a row. I might say something like "Do you think the answer has changed yet?" But anything non-harmful gets lots of lots of patience. If DS were to actually grab something he wasn't supposed to have, then I'd come down hard on him.

Good luck! It's wonderful that your kids want to cook!

[CarrieMF]

I have a very hard time cooking or baking with my kids. It is faster & easier for me to do it myself. My kitched is my domain & I don't like people being in my kitchen.

I take alot of deep breaths & mental reminders that it's only a short time. If I"m making something that is more than 1 batch they help with the first & then they get to eat when it's the 2nd+. If is something like sugar cookies I make them & they can ice them. If they're home I"ll let them use the cookie cutters but that takes alot of deep breaths too.

[meemee]

i choose a time when we have lots of time and it doesnt matter when dinner is.

and then i look at it as if I am assisting my dd in cooking, rather than thinking that she is helping me.

boy its small but just to think that way - take that attitude, That helps a LOT!!!!

i also plan it out first with her. this is how we are going to do it. so she knows what comes next. so for instance you telling your dd after we are done doesnt really make it clear. after we have put the dough inside the oven, then you can lick the beater would help.

if it helps you can draw the steps for visual aid on a white board so everyone knows what's happening next.

though even then not all problems are solved.

good luck!!! right now its a pain, but in a few years you will welcome the break from the kitchen.

[newbymom05]

I haven't read all the replies yet, but my 4 y/o likes to "help", and honestly, there is no way to make it a pleasurable experience for me, unless the act of cooking IS the pleasurable experience, ie we won't play Candyland, we'll make cookies.

I usually cook 3 meals a day, 7 days a week, plus all the other tasks that keep a family clean and clothed. I would rather not have a 30 minute experience take 60, y/k? Not to mention the potential hazards and increased mess like the OP mentioned. So I avoid the mean-mommy guilt by keeping my LOs out of the kitchen unless I'm mentally prepared to deal with it.

Cooking and housekeeping are my excuses for not being tv-free.

[jrpbrown1]

Originally Posted by beanma

It's always better if they help me cook things that aren't part of a meal and I'm not rushed. Making some cookies in the afternoon or something is much easier than trying to deal with them helping me make supper.

That's my experience too. If my DD wants to help with dinner, she can set the table or something. When we bake I try to have everything measured out and ready to go to streamline things. She also has a kiddy apron and chef hat so that makes it lots of fun and ceremonial of sorts.

[amis2girls]

I have one kid in the kitchen at a time until they're old enough to be more helpful than messy.

[cherimoya]

3 kids & cooking would be tough! I only have one old enough to help and he LOVES cooking/baking with me. When we have had friends over in the past I've found letting the kids make salad is the best. We eat salad at nearly every meal. A couple of the kids can rip up the lettuce and throw it in the big bowl. An older kid can cut up cucumber, tomato, peppers etc. One kid can scoop out avocado. The little kids can sprinkle pine nuts or walnuts and dried berries on top. Throw some vinegar, oil, p&s on it and then let each kid take a turn mixing it all up with 2 big spoons. It's always fun.....and this is all going on while I'm making the other parts of the meal.

As for baking or making something more complicated with 3 kids the only way that I would do it is if I had it all planned out first....make sure every kid has something to do.

[mweb]

two things I do

1) premeasure and do the "mise en place" thing you see on cooking shows - have everything ready to be dumped in the bowl, or at the very least have the eggs already broken and in something to pour out of.

2) (This is probably a little wrong, certainly wasteful!) I give fake jobs - have ds mix flour and salt in a separate bowl then dump it when he's distracted.

Oh, as for the licking thing - I give ds something else to eat, usually chocolate chips doled out one by one when we're making cookies for example.

[savvybabygrace]

Yes, I occaisonally get uptight when cooking with my girls. Here's what I've done to make it easier:
*When possible I give them their own mix (like if I'm making muffins) and allow them to mix in their own bowls. They sometimes insist on making exactly what I'm making, won't settle for flour and water. So if it's cheap, I buy extra packets of mix. If there are no raw eggs in there they can taste away!
*I reserve a few of the simple steps for them. They now know that they can't help mama with every single step but there are special parts that only they can do.
*When they'll settle for it, bowls with flour, water, sprinkles, whatever's in abundance in the kitchen will do. I don't care if they make a mess, it's cleanable!

[425lisamarie]

A couple things that may be helpful....I have almost 3 and 5 year olds who always love helping. I have a HUGE kitchen with a very large peninsula with a raised bar behind and lots of working space so it may make things easier but you can organize with whatever space you have.

iF it's a plaanned thing, like you know you are going to make muffins. DOn't announce it until you have everyone out and situated, possibly pre measuring depending on the ages, or at least measuring anything too messy. My 3 year old sits on one end of the counter, DS on the other side on a step stool, and in between them is my huge (12 x 18) butcher block that usualy stays on that counter. For muffins it's pretty simple because you have dry stuff, wet stuff, mix together. I have this epicurean cutting board that is lousy to cut on, but it's light and easy to clean up. If i'm having them measure out flour say, I'll put the flour bucket and the measruing cup on that board, then give them a large spoon and tell them to scoop to fill up the cup. Then we level it off over the flour board, dump the flour in the main bowl, and brush all the flour that spilt over on the board back in to the bucket. I bought some nice HUGE mixing bowls by martha stewart at Macy's , big bowls are a good idea with kids mixing!

If it's help with cooking, They do things like mix in a bowl, pat out a pizza crust, arrange a salad, push the feed tube and turn on the food processor, etc.

Set yourself up though. Have large mixing bowls, enough whisks/wooden spoons, and an easy to clean off board. And remind yourself to not freak out when the stuff spills all over LOL. I know it's bad but sometimes if I just want to get the brownies/cookies/cake made, I"ll let them snack on the chocolate chips as distraction while more "watching" then helping :

Oh about the licking beater thing. I've explained the danger of that while it's still attached...my rule is you get the small china teaspoon (this makes it nice that they get to use the fancy silver) and you get one scoop.

[Freefromitall]

Would it help to have it be a one-at-a-time thing? I don't know what your schedule is like, but maybe you could do something like, "Okay, Monday is A's turn to be kitchen helper, B gets to be helper on Wednesdays and Fridays are C's turn to be my kitchen helper."

So that way it's a regular thing, each kid gets to help, but you're not ready to pull your hair over it (as much)

[karemore]

I agree that you should try one child at a time.

And do it when you aren't rushed for time.

(And I can't help but remind everyone that licking the spoon/beaters is dangerous if you are cooking with eggs....the tiniest bit from a contaminated egg can make a person extremely ill.)

[heatherdeg]

I've only skimmed, but I was thinking the one-at-a-time thing, too.

My 5yo could seriously cook his own scrambled eggs for breakfast. It started with breaking the eggs into the bowl. When he mastered that, he learned how to whisk them. When he mastered that, he got to pour them into the oil in the frying pan. When he got that down, he got to stir them in the pan. (realize that one of us is standing RIGHT THERE for all of this )

Maybe you could only have them help for a single step--or a few steps that are spaced out pretty well and then you do the rest? This combined with one-at-a-time might help...?

[OakBerry]

I never enjoyed having a toddler messing around in my food, I'll admit.
We just did other things together. I always gave him flour, or dried rice and beans and a muffin pan and a mixing bowl, with a few utensils. He was happy with that.
Usually at dinner I was too tired and impatient, and when I baked (not often) it was for a family event or a bake sale. So I didn't want little fingers in the batter.

Now that he's 6, he enjoys helping with simple stuff, like baking cookies, and making sandwiches.