I've been worrying about this for a while. DS2 is really, really challenging to parent. He hits a lot, breaks things, makes messes at an extraordinary rate, etc. He makes it hard to work with dd on homelearning projects, because he'll grab things from us and throw them around (eg. dd loves a "sight word" Bingo game, but ds2 won't let us play - whether we invite him to join or not, he ends up throwing the chips and cards around and dd just gets frustrated). He spills things at least a couple of times a day, and some of them are hugely messy, such as the orange juice that he put oatmeal into, then threw across the dining room (I was in the kitchen, dishing up my own oatmeal), which is carpeted.
More and more, I feel as though I spend all my time dealing with crises created by ds2. At least half the time, I have to do at least one extra load of laundry, because he's either peed on the floor (requiring towels to clean up) or dumped something on bed linens (eg. the A5-35 he got on my comforter a few days ago, while I was in the bathroom). He gets food out of the pantry and spills it. Then, there's the constant picking of fights with his sister, hitting people out of the blue, etc. He has no patience. If he asks for something, and I say "just a second" (maybe I'm washing dishes or just finishing up an online bank transaction - stuff like that), he immediately starts repeating, "you forgot my X" over and over again.
Anyway...that's enough about the various behavioural issues we're dealing with. The real point is that I'm so frustrated. His behaviour is making it really difficult to accomplish anything around here. I'm resorting to DVDs more often than I'd like, just so that I can get a sink of dishes washed, without fear of what's going on in another room. I'm often not attempting anything with dd, because I'm so fed up with the constant interruptions and chaos. DD is also very sensitive and very volatile, so ds2 grabbing her Bingo chips, or dropping her crayons is likely to result in a massive meltdown, and it takes quite a while to get everything settled back down.
Does anyone have any suggestions for keeping my head screwed on straight? It's becoming all too easy to blame ds2 for every little difficulty that arises around here. He is at the root of a lot of them, but I don't want to get into a family dynamic where everything is ds2's fault. I've seen that happen in a close relative's family, and I know how destructive it is to the whole family, but especially to the poor child who takes the blame for everything. I don't want to do that to my sweet little boy.
More and more, I feel as though I spend all my time dealing with crises created by ds2. At least half the time, I have to do at least one extra load of laundry, because he's either peed on the floor (requiring towels to clean up) or dumped something on bed linens (eg. the A5-35 he got on my comforter a few days ago, while I was in the bathroom). He gets food out of the pantry and spills it. Then, there's the constant picking of fights with his sister, hitting people out of the blue, etc. He has no patience. If he asks for something, and I say "just a second" (maybe I'm washing dishes or just finishing up an online bank transaction - stuff like that), he immediately starts repeating, "you forgot my X" over and over again.
Anyway...that's enough about the various behavioural issues we're dealing with. The real point is that I'm so frustrated. His behaviour is making it really difficult to accomplish anything around here. I'm resorting to DVDs more often than I'd like, just so that I can get a sink of dishes washed, without fear of what's going on in another room. I'm often not attempting anything with dd, because I'm so fed up with the constant interruptions and chaos. DD is also very sensitive and very volatile, so ds2 grabbing her Bingo chips, or dropping her crayons is likely to result in a massive meltdown, and it takes quite a while to get everything settled back down.
Does anyone have any suggestions for keeping my head screwed on straight? It's becoming all too easy to blame ds2 for every little difficulty that arises around here. He is at the root of a lot of them, but I don't want to get into a family dynamic where everything is ds2's fault. I've seen that happen in a close relative's family, and I know how destructive it is to the whole family, but especially to the poor child who takes the blame for everything. I don't want to do that to my sweet little boy.
My oldest is 9 and requires so much more patience and just general parenting than the younger two (one is a busy toddler!). There are days that I find myself resenting her for the mood/havoc she brings to the entire family. She has been in counseling for 5 months and we are have very small breakthroughs, but honestly, I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. I feel like the younger two kids get so little time with me and are constantly having conflicts with dd1.
It's tough.
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