Helping my daughter with the loss of her twin(in utero). - Page 2

[Dena]

I just wanted to chime in - I lost a twin at 24 weeks and, while my survivor is not yet old enough (she is 18 months) to ask questions, we have been through some energy healing since her birth, and, according to the healer, she is very much aware she has a twin and that her sister died. I know this issue will come up more as she become more verbal. I am not sure yet how I will handle it.

I did, however, want to post that there are resources out there for those of us who have lost twins, either as parents or siblings:

Elimbo - support for parents of surviving multiples

Center for Loss in Multiple Birth

Parenting Surviving Multiples

Twinless twins - support for twins who have lost twin siblings

I'm sure there are more, but these are the ones I am aware of. Hope this helps.

[firstwomantomars]

Hi! I am a little bit late in this thread - I only noticed it today.

I lost my twin sister a week before our birth. Not only were we identical, we also shared our placenta and sac. The doctors only expected one baby so when my sister was still-born, my mother was devastated...and then they realized my mom was in labor again! And there I was.

My parents talked about my sister from time to time. I had many experiences (dreams, visions, feelings) of her near me and as a child I was certain I was communicating with her frequently. Then as an older child and an adult I repressed those feelings and almost drove myself crazy wondering if they were real or due to the fact that my parents had told me about her.

But then two years ago, shortly after the birth of my third child, I woke up after the weirdest dream and, totally awake and aware, relived my sister's death in the womb, and all the physical sensations before, during and after it happened. That was quite an experience!

It's taken me a while but I am coming to learn to be at peace with my "extra" feelings and perceptions which have grown stronger since that dream.

I realize that I miss her physically every single moment of my life. But the joy of being a twin and my new belief that we are never actually really apart makes my life also that much brighter!

So it's at the same time a blessing and a curse :-)

[rere]

Originally Posted by Dena

I just wanted to chime in - I lost a twin at 24 weeks and, while my survivor is not yet old enough (she is 18 months) to ask questions, we have been through some energy healing since her birth, and, according to the healer, she is very much aware she has a twin and that her sister died. I know this issue will come up more as she become more verbal. I am not sure yet how I will handle it.

I did, however, want to post that there are resources out there for those of us who have lost twins, either as parents or siblings:

Elimbo - support for parents of surviving multiples

Center for Loss in Multiple Birth

Parenting Surviving Multiples

Twinless twins - support for twins who have lost twin siblings

I'm sure there are more, but these are the ones I am aware of. Hope this helps.

Dena,

So sorry.I meant to thank you at the time of your post.I guess I got caught up in the links you provided.Anyway...thank you!

Originally Posted by firstwomantomars

Hi! I am a little bit late in this thread - I only noticed it today.

I lost my twin sister a week before our birth. Not only were we identical, we also shared our placenta and sac. The doctors only expected one baby so when my sister was still-born, my mother was devastated...and then they realized my mom was in labor again! And there I was.

My parents talked about my sister from time to time. I had many experiences (dreams, visions, feelings) of her near me and as a child I was certain I was communicating with her frequently. Then as an older child and an adult I repressed those feelings and almost drove myself crazy wondering if they were real or due to the fact that my parents had told me about her.

But then two years ago, shortly after the birth of my third child, I woke up after the weirdest dream and, totally awake and aware, relived my sister's death in the womb, and all the physical sensations before, during and after it happened. That was quite an experience!

It's taken me a while but I am coming to learn to be at peace with my "extra" feelings and perceptions which have grown stronger since that dream.

I realize that I miss her physically every single moment of my life. But the joy of being a twin and my new belief that we are never actually really apart makes my life also that much brighter!

So it's at the same time a blessing and a curse :-)

Thank you for sharing your story.It makes me think maybe there is a silver lining to my experience.Maybe since my daughter is the one that made me realize she had a twin she won't ever have to doubt her feelings about it?I hope so.

She had been talking about it quite a bit for awhile.We decided to give her twin a name and my daughter drew a picture of her.She asked me to cut out the picture and she tapped it to her wall right next to her mirror.During this time a toy of hers got broken.A little plastic seal that she didn't even really play with and when I told her I couldn't fix it and we should put it in the recycle she lost it(not common for her).She sobbed for hours.Just sobbing and saying "I just can't let go".She sobbed until she fell asleep and sobbed in her sleep and woke up and sobbed some more all while holding this broken toy.The next day she brought me the toy and said"I'm ready to let go now" and put it in the recycle.And since then she hasn't really talked about the "baby that dissolved".She still talks about her sister all the time but not the baby.

I'm trying my best to just follow her lead.I don't want to give her sorrow that she doesn't have but I also don't want to deny any sorrow that she does have.