Why don't sick kids stay HOME?

[BarnMomma]

I have to vent a little here because what I saw today really bothered me.

We went to the 2nd to last Music Together class today with DS (20 mo) and the second I walked in, I wanted to leave. Out of the 10 children in the class, 5 were very obviously sick. 3 had nonstop yellow opaque mucus running freely from both nostrils, and two were lethargic and red faced from having fevers. (I overhead the moms saying they had them)

Now these are nice moms who I like very much but WHY OH WHY were they all at music class with their sick children?

I understand that all children get sick but here's my other gripe...the runny noses were NOT being looked after by the moms and the children were wiping them away, getting oozy boogers all over their hands and then touching the instruments, balls, scarves, and everything else and leaving trails behind. It was just really gross.

I really don't understand this. When DS isn't feeling well we stay home not only because I want him to rest and get better but becasue I don't want to expose other kids to his illness.

[LynnS6]

Well, I confess to having brought a child somewhere with a runny nose because the runny nose was the tail end of a cold and we were all going stir crazy. But, not wiping their noses is gross. And any child with a fever stays home. Period. That's crazy bringing a feverish child to something optional.

[3pink1blue]

the opaque runny nose often accompanies the end of a cold. i would take my kids out like that. i would also bring mad tissues and hand sanitizer. no excuse for getting boogs everywhere... ewwww!

as far as fevers, I find that appalling. no child should need to go out if they are feeling unwell.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Children with fevers should definitely be home. Children with runny noses should definitely have them wiped regularly. However, not all kids with runny noses are "sick" and certainly not necessarily contagious. DS has terrible allergies. Has a near constant runny nose. Can be a variety of colors. Can lead to sinus infection, which isn't contagious. If I kept him home during those times, he would never, ever get to do anything.

[gbailey]

I think the organizers of classes like these should inform the parents to please leave their sick children at home. I can't imagine taking DD to class while she has a fever.

[snoopy5386]

I agree that is gross. I will also bring my DD out with a runny nose that is the tail end of a cold, but I am right there constantly wiping it and hand sanitizing everywhere we go. My DD had a cold 3 weeks ago and still has a cough that is pretty nasty sounding when she coughs (like 5 times a day). I'm not staying home until that is gone.

[2lilsweetfoxes]

Do the "sick kids" have siblings that also attend the class? Some parents' philosophy is 'why should Mary be "punished" and have to miss out on her activity because Billy is under the weather'? and they have no one to keep Billy. Also, sometimes, the class is more for the parent than the child (only real opportunity to socialize) or they figure that they are paying for it anyhow, so...

[mamaluvs]

I too think children (and adults) with fevers should stay home. Who has the energy to participate in music class with a fever anyway? I agree though that taking a kiddo with a runny nose is not necessarily a bad thing to do. When DD gets a cold, she frequently has a runny nose for over a week. It tends to take a lot longer for the nose to clear up than for her to feel better/stop being contagious. Not wiping noses is pretty yucky though.

At our music together class, the instructor brings wipes for all the instruments/props so parents can wipe clean anything their child has licked, sucked, drooled on, etc.

[tanyam926]

I will take my kids out if they are at the end of a cold, feeling fine but have a little snot. I always wipe their noses and they don't get boogies everywhere.

I never take them out if there is fever, diarrhea, or vomit going on. That is just unfair to my kids and to everyone else.

[amlikam]

goodness, I feel like you were talking directly to me, but I know you weren't

a few weeks ago DD got RSV & Pneumonia- we missed a class...But the day after being in the hospital a whole week I took her to MT- (prior to missing our one class there were 2 off weeks- so we had 3 weeks no MT)....

I got guff from a good friend who was there- who told me "Why are you here, I can't BELIEVE you brought her!"

I looked at it a few ways
1. I was SUPER careful to keep her away from other kids/babies
2. I washed her hands and my hands with wipes throughout
3. The Dr gave us the green light to resume our normal routine- she wasn't running a fever and she was breathing fine, and he believes play is essential to a childs recovery
4. We touched only one hard surface plastic instrument the whole time- and I brough a disenfectant wipe to clean it when I was done - the the instructor had her germ-y bin so we put it in there (DD is 8mo so I was able to use her body instead of instruments and the like)
5. While I was there listening to how my sick daughter might get others sick- I saw kids running around coughing, sneezing, drooling ect .... My thought is some parents could have kids who are really sick and not be aware of it, so why should DD miss out on her class if we are careful? Plus there is a good chance her illness came from MT.

I guess the main difference is we were careful and respectful. If she was as sick as she had been the week before- you can bet we would have stayed home.

I know in our area a lot of mom's use that as their own social time - it might be the same there, but those mom's/dad's ect probably forget that subtle nice-ity- "don't get my baby sick!!"

[BarnMomma]

I can't speak for other classes but our MT class is most certainly NOT for moms to socialize. The kids really all get into it which is why it was almost impossible to avoid boooger-tainted toys with everyone eagerly grabbing and playing and also why I feel the moms should have been more proactive about the runny noses. And sadly, no one really adheres to the dirty bin or ever uses the wipes (which is a gripe for a different day) so I can't really feel confident that the items in play are clean. Granted, I'm a germophobe but I totally let my hair down for MT. We just wash out hands after and I keep an eye on Ds for hands-in-mouth but today was just too much for me to feel comfortable with.

[arb]

a must-read

This article in the New York Times addresses our collective dilemma head-on:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/10/he...klas.html?_r=1

[Ks Mama]

If my kiddos are well enough to get up & want to get dressed & go out, I'm not going to stay cooped up inside to protect them from germaphobes. If they are truly ill - like vomiting or lethargic with fever, then of course we stay in. But generally sick with colds, staying inside isn't healthy for anyone with a cold (and runny noses are just colds y/k - its not like the plague)... fresh air & sunshine & sticking to your routine as much as possible - focusing on feeling better & normal again is what's going to make you well. Dwelling on your illness will not. Staying in, fretting about not being 100%, and waiting for a childs' nose to completely stop running, or cough to completely vanish... no one would get anything done, no one would get to work, or school, or do the things they like to do the majority of the winter. That doesn't cut it for me. When I have a cold, I drink more, rest more, but I don't stop doing the things I like to do, and I teach my children the same. A runny nose isn't a show stopper.



You know, you always have the option of leaving if you're uncomfortable somewhere, also washing your own & your kids' hands. But honestly, you're going to be exposed to germs ANYTIME you leave your house - not just when you see a kid in close proximity with a runny nose.

[phathui5]

Snot doesn't bother me. Most kids get goopy all winter and we don't bother trying to avoid it.

Fevers we stay home for.

[AllisonR]

Both my DS and DD have snotty, runny noses as a permanent profession, from the age of about 9 months to 3-3.5 years. After that, it is only a part time job. Doesn't mean they are sick. Means their immune system is growing, sort of like the rest of them, and it isn't in perfect sync yet. If I had to keep them in every time yellow rivers were connecting their nostrils to their lips, they would NEVER be able to leave the house.

Additionally, DD had permanent crusty, goopy eye from 6 months to 2 years. It was NOT pink eye, or some wildly contagious eye infection, it was small tear ducts that clog and she has grown out of it.

Fever, lethargic, bad cough.... that's a different animal entirely.

[NYCVeg]

Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom

Children with fevers should definitely be home. Children with runny noses should definitely have them wiped regularly. However, not all kids with runny noses are "sick" and certainly not necessarily contagious. DS has terrible allergies. Has a near constant runny nose. Can be a variety of colors. Can lead to sinus infection, which isn't contagious. If I kept him home during those times, he would never, ever get to do anything.

Dd is like this too. She has severe allergies (food and seasonal) and she often has a non-stop runny nose or a constant cough (related to the seasonal allergies). I get lots of dirty looks when she's coughing, but she's obviously not contagious.

I think there's no question about staying home with a fever. I also don't take dd to class-type activities if she has an opaque runny nose (but I would take her supermarket shopping, for a walk, etc. if she's feeling up to it--if a kid is a little sick but feeling okay, chances are that they're not going to stay cooped up all day willingly).

[philomom]

I used to run a new mom's support group. You would not believe the folks who would bring a sick baby out just so they could socialize. Honestly, sometimes the other new mom's would just about riot and I'd have to step in and say something. Sick kids stay home. Period.

[gcgirl]

Originally Posted by arb

This article in the New York Times addresses our collective dilemma head-on:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/10/he...klas.html?_r=1

Yep, the article is right on. It should be noted, though, that handwashing doesn't prevent the flu, which is transmitted mainly through airborne droplets. Actually, there's not a whole lot you CAN do about the flu. I guess I'm just musing OT now, sorry.

[runes]

Originally Posted by gbailey

I think the organizers of classes like these should inform the parents to please leave their sick children at home. I can't imagine taking DD to class while she has a fever.

Sometimes the organizers of a class are part of the problem. Classes like MT are not inexpensive, and often they have restrictive policies on make-up sessions if you miss a class due to illness. If they gave some more leeway to take an extra class on a subsequent week when the child is well, it might facilitate parents to keep their child home when they are sick.

[Mirzam]

Frankly it doesn't worry me one bit if my children hang out with kids with snotty noses, or even kids with fevers (but if they don't feel well, for the child's sake they should be home snuggled under a blanket) because I don't assume my kids are going to get sick because of it. And if they do, its not the end of the world.