Spacing Between Kids - Your thoughts? - Page 3

[NicaG]

Mine are 3.5 years apart. I am finding this spacing pretty easy (my friends with 2 years between children seem a lot more frazzled). My older ds likes to play with the baby, and he's independent enough to play by himself if I need to get the baby down for a nap, change a diaper, etc. Also, he was using the potty by the time dd was born, so I've only got one child in diapers. I sometimes wonder if they're too far apart to be friends later...but it's impossible to predict.

[hopefulfaith]

Mine are 15 months apart. Needless to say, exclusive BF doesn't really work. (I'm kidding.)

I didn't plan them so close, obviously, and the first two years were *really* hard, particularly because it is so hard to AP. Not impossible, but really, really, really wearing. It would have been easier, I think, if my son were a little older than 15 months when his sister was born and requiring so much attention..when he was such a HN little guy and required 24/7 closeness.

Another downside? The sleep thing. Neither of them are "good" sleepers and when one of them might STTN, the other one is up. We have had exactly five nights of both of them STTN in the past few years. Five. (Counting last night, if anyone feels like celebrating with me. )

However, they are 3.5 and not-quite 2.5 right now, and the benefits are starting to show themselves. They are becoming good playmates. I actually didn't see them for 45 minutes the other day since they were playing together in my daughter's room. I could hear them playing firefighter and putting out fires on the bed and dresser together, and they were just wonderful together. They are playing so much pretend together, and I love it. They fight, naturally, but when they play together well, they play together really well!

That is my experience, FWIW. Closer sibs, IME, is beginning to be really fun.

[rightkindofme]

Well, I can't tell you for absolute certain yet (the pg tests are in the mail) but it looks like my kids are going to be ~18 months apart. oops.

I don't know how I'll like it yet.

[bramblevine]

Mine are 11/97 (boy) 3/99 (boy) 9/05 (girl) & 10/08 (girl) and we love that spacing.

[RunnerDuck]

I think whatever you end up with, you'll find the positives and negatives in.

With my son I dreamed of 2 years apart. But when he hit 15 months I just wasn't ready to give up the bond I had with him. Found myself preg. a few months after his 2nd b-day - they would have been exactly 3 years apart, same due date. Felt, wow, 3 years is gonna be perfect! BUT I m/c. Time passed, 2 more m/c... my girls were born when he was 4y4m - longer than I thought I'd like but there's been some positives. He can help with the babies a LOT. He can even lug them around to pull them out of danger. He can bring me things or he can do a lot of things for himself if I am busy with a baby and he needs/wants something.

Still... it's a little longer than I'd like... though he has a great bond with one of the babies (and doesn't seem to like the other one as much) I do worry about whether or not they'll ever really play together. But as adults, I think they'll be close. Four years is NOTHING to an adult.

If I have one more I am hoping for a 2-3 year gap.

[Tjej]

My kids are 22 months apart. It has worked out very well, and hasn't been particularly stressful or hard - although once my DS started moving it did get more challenging... I really think, though, that the ease or trouble for a mom with spacing is all about the children's personalities and your personality. My DD is very easygoing, sensitive, and into mothering. My DS is rambunctious, outgoing, and so very very fast and busy. If HE were my first, I would think 22 months was too close. But he's not, so it isn't.

We are not planning on having another child as soon (DH isn't sure about if at all), and really I don't think DS would handle it very well at all if we did (and I wouldn't either - DS is so busy and young that it would be hard to keep up with him and a newborn).

Tjej