Originally Posted by because why not?
I just think it's so over the top that people are talking about SAW and... pornography? Seriously? The OP referenced a MADE FOR TELEVISION movie that came out in 1990, for goodness' sake.
But of course everyone's idea of what is/isn't graphic and disturbing is different. I get that. And, I understand the discomfort and fear with technology. It's something every family needs to grow into.
But giving the kid almost no time alone is wrong. It's just wrong.
I suppose what riled me up last night was the tone I got from the OP, who actually came across as smug, to me. As a PP said, intent means a LOT, and I may be projecting, but I read a somewhat self-satisfied tone. It's one that I grew up with. My parents were domineering, and when anyone complained or begged for some freedom, we were mocked. The bit about the husband enjoying the "strictest parent in the world" title was hard to swallow, because it's so dismissive of the son's feelings (which are quite real, and quite powerful, at the age of 13). As the conversation unfolded, it seemed to me that the OP was really just seeking validation, not conversation. I know some PP's have felt that the responses were harsh, but if you ask me the kid deserves the validation, here.
I think there is a big difference between monitoring internet use and what type of movies your dcs watch and not giving your dcs any time alone.
Our dcs have pulled out the everyone else does this argument because we won't let them watch rated R movies, and they have tried to convince us we're the strictest parents ever.
I don't believe we are, and I think the argument is designed to be manipulative. I'm not falling for it, nor do I think the OP is.
And if a made for television movie gives your 9 year old nightmares, then it was not appropriate for them to watch, was it? That's why we parent.
My biggest objection to It
was that it was a colossal piece of cr@p, and the book had the usual Stephen King dose of gratuitous sex which was totally unnecessary to the story (yawn.) Maybe it's just me, but I can practically predict on what page it will happen in a Stephen King book.
Since sometimes a person might want to read the book after watching the movie, I might not want to open that door. YMMV
I don't fear technology, either, but when my dsd has already internet stalked someone, I think monitoring her internet usage is warranted. When at 11 she is wanting to correspond with college aged men, there is no way in he!! I'm not going to double check to make sure they aren't trying to make arrangements to meet her somewhere. I'd be stupid not to.
We're taking them parasailing soon, and I'm sure there are other parents who think that's a terrible thing to go do. We know another couple who takes their children cliffdiving, which I don't think we would do. But that's their
choice, not ours.
We're not anti-fun, but like anyone else, we choose what we feel is appropriate for our pre-teens. As I stated earlier, when they're 15 I'm sure the rules will be different than they are right now. I had super-controlling parents myself, so I'm trying to find a balance between that and being oblivious, and I'm not particularly happy that we have
to monitor the internet so closely, but I can't see any way out of it at this point.