First-time mamas - wanna chat? - Page 14

[JenInMpls]

From what I have heard etiquette-wise it is really improper to say what you want as a wedding gift beyond saying "no gifts, please" or "x and y are registered at Target" in a shower invitation... repeatedly I have heard that, with baby showers, you should either register or allow a note to be put in shower invitations saying "contact [pregnant mama's name] if you are looking for gift ideas".

In my letter to the families at school letting them know that I'm pregnant and will be taking at least a year off, I put it this way: "If you were looking to clean out your baby stuff or know anyone who is, here are some things we are looking for..." that way I'm not outright asking for gifts but rather for hand-me-downs and people seem more inclined to give or loan them. I've had so many offers of cloth diapers, it's unreal!!

Jen

[Smithie]

Ooooh! Moses baskets!

thanks for the babybungalow link!

[fiddlefern]

Well,

I'm reporting in post- BabiesRus.

I let "grandpa" talk me in to a lot of things I wasn't originally wanting. It's kinda hard because he has always been very emotionally loving, but he also puts a lot of meaning into being the "provider." So I just kinda let him have fun, trying to direct him a little about things I REALLY didn't want.

For instance: we were orginally planning on just a Britax Roundabout convertable carseat. Well, the BRU guy told us that the Britax is really too big for infants. He showed us several other carseats that will really work for both (they were actually cheaper.) But once I had let myself be swayed away from the Britax, it was all that much easier to end up with an infant seat in the shopping cart. Sigh.

I really do happen to like the seat that we got, and Grandpa even hinted that he'll get the Britax when baby is older. That's really generous, though for me it's not just about money- it's about living simply and caring for the earth by not amassing stuff that one day will end up in land fills.

Grandpa also talked me into an infant stroller, and I was not planning on owning one at all. At least it is a VERY compact one that folds up small, that fits the baby bucket in it.

The story goes on like that. I feel bad for whining, though. It's pretty nice to have a dad who wants so much to be involved with this baby, and who thinks nothing of forking out the bucks. I'm trying to remember to be thankful. After shopping he took us out to a very nice restaurant. You certainly can't accuse him of being a stingy man- very giving. (note to self- be thankful, be thankful, be thankful).

I guess the thing to remember is that now I have some really nice stuff, and when my baby is done with it, I can pass it on to someone else.

May the rest of you survive any BRU experiences you go through.

Peace,
Beth

[elsanne]

Hi there pregnant goddesses--

I'm responding to someone's post (laziness prohibits me from scrolling back to see who it was) about people's comments...specifically about finding out the sex via ultrasound...I haven't had one and don't know the sex, and absolutely no offense to anyone who has, because I was soooorely tempted about 5 mos. along when I was offered a FREE u/s but then it fell through.

But here's my standard response to "Don't you want to know??" (Um, of course I do--duh): "I hope to have many years of knowing what sex this child is, and I guess I can wait a few more months".

Here's what I LOVE about not knowing: the old wives' tales and funky witchy things people do or tell me about: the pendulums, the Drano test, the Chinese chart thingy, the way I'm carrying it. I love hearing guesses and bets about what it will be. I love the anticipation of not knowing until I see his or her little face at birth. I don't mind the yellows, reds, purples, greens, oranges, blues of non-gender specific clothing. I don't plan to decorate a nursery for baby, so I don't need to know whether to choose this or that design or color. It'll sleep with us, in bed, and be changed wherever I can, etccccc

Tummy rubs to everyone.

[butterflyma]

Heyall! It's been such a long time since I've had time to visit and post; I read back a few pages. It looks like everyone is doing well- yay!

On u/s; a personal update: The last time I posted about u/s, dh and I had just had a 20 week u/s where we had found out we we are having a baby boy. A big baby boy. We were excited to see our growing baby and hear his little heartbeat, and we got to get a videotape of the whole thing so I can pop it in anytime. Well, the following week my midwive's office called and left a message saying due to the largeness of my baby (in particular his head) they wanted me to have another u/s with a perinatal specialist Boy was Ishocked, the u/s tech at our first u/s had said that everything about him looked perfect and now they wanted me to see a specialist! I called the mw office back but the oncall mw had left for the day, I spoke with a nurse who told me not to be alarmed (she could tell I was) and she would schedule me for the u/s ASAP, to lessen my worry time. I had to spend a whole weekend waiting, trying not to think there was anything wrong- but why would they send me to a specialist if there was no concern?
When I went to the specialist he confirmed that my baby is very big- but due to the fact that we were undergoing i/f treatment when we conceived we KNOW that the dating is right. He still pushed my duedate back by 2 days just to make the size look a little more "average". The specialist actually said "I don't know why they sent you here, their u/s said exactly the same as mine." When I went for my next mw visit they didn't even mention the whole ordeal! When I brought it up she just said "well, sometimes our u/s can miss something that a more high def u/s can pick up" The whole experience left me feeling a little shaken, although extremely relieved in the end.

Phew, sorry that was a long story- but I think it changed my perspective on the "harmlessness" of u/s....

On BabiesRUs; Dh and I registered there, it was extremely overwhelming. But, he came home on the Fri before Valentines and wanted to spend valentines day looking into what we needed for our new valentine and of course everyone told him BRU is 'the place to go'. Even amidst the junk there were quite a few things that were of good quality, such as the Britax Wizard, medela breast pumps, lullabye cds, baby bjorn carrier, etc.... We did have to be careful not to listen to every thing that comes reccomended by BRU to purchase. I also registered online at organic bebe, I really hope that some of my generous friends/family members who are looking to give a gift will look into that site.

I often get shower invitations with little "inserts" that say the parents to be are registered at ------. Once a hostess inserted a note in each invitation that said "S... would love gifts of comfortable cotton clothing, wooden toys, certificates for diaper service, yada yada, for her new little boy."

Phew- :LOL I think that's enough for now! I hope that all of you beautiful pregnant mamas are doing fabulous!

[dharmama]

Brandi ~ Sounds like a stressful few days. Glad everyting is ok.

I felt my baby having hicups for the first time this weekend. SO COOL!

I'm into every-other-week appointments now and we're touring the hospital next week...can't believe how close it's getting.

As far as registering...I did the same as Brandi (I think I followed her suggestion actually). Babies R Us for carseats, strollers, Baby Bjorn and a few other things. Oranic Bebe (felicite.com) for the stuff I really want! Luckily my family is very supportive and excited to buy wooden toys and cloth diapers etc.

Oh and I think it's pretty normal for the baby shower invite to say where you are registered. I've received plenty with that info...usually on a sheet of paper tucked into the card. Often the directions are on the same sheet.

I just ordered more Kissaluvs O's from Kelly's Closet (free shipping ). I have been bidding on some on e-bay for a while but they keep selling for far more than they should. : Very frustrating. I want to have plenty to take with us to the hospital. We're hoping to only stay the minimum (6 hours after birth) but just in case we have to stay longer I want to have plenty of cute cloth dipes!

Okay...back to work for me...glad everyone is doing well!

~Erin

[blessed2bamommie]

Erin, you registered with Organic Bebe *thru felicite?

minimum stay? I am interested in that. Is that your hosp policy 6 hrs?

Brandi : Praise God all is well, Even though u were put on a rollercoaster!

[dharmama]

Yup...I registered through felicite. (Just realized I forgot the "g" in organic in my last post. Oops.)

At my hospital if you have a non-medicated birth, with no complications, then you can check-out 6 hours after birth. Since I would rather be having a homebirth...laboring at home as long as possible and leaving as soon as we can feels like a good compromise.

My MW told me that the hospital likes the babies to stay for 24 hours, but obviously I'm not going anywhere without my baby, so she said we'll just have to sign an "against medical advice" form...which she says looks scary but is no big deal.

~Erin

[blessed2bamommie]

Seems like I heard that at the open house;but, also mentioned was release to ped's care....is that an option for you?

[kittymama]

Hi First-time mamas,
I've been doing more lurking that posting lately, and I'm glad to hear everyone's progressing nicely. I had to weigh in on the Babies R Us thing too.

My dad, like fiddlefern's, is also ubersupportive and soo excited. This will be his third grandchild, but I am his baby and live a lot closer to him than my sister does, so I think he's extra thrilled this time. Anyway, he is so excited that he is hosting our shower with my new stepmom and ex-stepsister. They live in LA, about 5 hours from us, but that's where most of our close friends and family are, so it works out nicely. Anyway, he's been super high pressure on the registering thing too, so we finally broke down and did it at the Babies R Us. I was resistant to doing so, partly because their nearest store is an hour away from here, but it really turned out to be ok. They had tons of stuff that we need/want, and it was cool to be able to compare things like high chairs and strollers and car seats (oh my!) in person. I was amazed that they even had the Snuggle Nest CoSleeper (for in the bed), cloth diapering supples, and lots of breastfeeding/ pumping stuff. DH and I probably spent 2 hours in that place, and as much as I hate to admit it, it was fun, and I think we picked out some very useful stuff. I hate it when I have good experiences at megastores- don't even get me started on Borders!

So is anybody stressing about how their pets are going to react to the new arrival? My family had a cat before I was born, and he became completely neurotic after I showed up. He licked his stomach raw for the next twelve years and started peeing outside his box. My cats, especially the 8-year-old litter mates, are sort of fragile as it is, and I really don't want this to be any harder for them than it has to be. They've always been the babies and recieved tons of attention/affection from us, so I know it's going to be rough. We already kicked them out of the bedroom at night, so they wouldn't blame that development on the baby, but I worry about the poor little guys. Anyone else going through this?

[naturegirl]

Erin, I hear you on the diapers selling for more than they should be on ebay. Many sell for more than you can buy them new (when you add in the shipping!)

Cheryl

[blessed2bamommie]

yeah...not always a deal. I try to check fair market value first. The s said I did good with my Sugarplumbabies. I think it depends on how sought after it is. TP is the best bet first...

[Steve's Sweety]

Kinda new here, but wanted to pipe in about this -

So is anybody stressing about how their pets are going to react to the new arrival?

Yes!!!!!! We are expecting our first human baby the middle of June and it has been one of my big concerns since before we even started TTC. As a matter of fact, my husband was ready to TTC about a year before I was...I kept dragging my feet thinking how unfair it was going to be to the dogs.

We constantly get comments about how "You just wait...the dogs will become nothing more than a PITA once you have kids" and I am so tired of it. If I feel that way, I am going to have so much guilt I don't know if I'll be able to stand it.
I know things will have to change and the dogs will get put on the back burner...I'm not expecting for everything to go perfectly smoothly (again one of the reason I dragged my feel on TTC) but our dogs sleep in our bed with us and we plan to continue allowing them to and having baby in a co-sleeper attached to the bed. Oh the flack we've gotten for that one!
It's just frustrating to someone who is a dog person, not just a person with dogs. I mean, when you have another child, you don't give any of the other ones away!

Am I being overly sensitive about this, or do others feel the same way?

Oh, and hi to everyone! I'm Titia, 28 from MI - what a way to intro myself to a board. :LOL

[Steve's Sweety]

PS: I've also been after the sz 0 kissaluvs so hopefully it wasn't me driving up those prices - I'm a deal shopper for the most part!

[dharmama]

Hi Titia~ Welcome!

I'm expecting my first in June too (my EDD is June 15)!

I've been getting some comments about how I'm going to regret having all my animals once the baby is here. (We have one dog, two sheep and a bunch of chickens.)

Personally I don't buy it. Our pets are part of our family and they will continue to be an important part of our expanded family.

We're actually planning to add to our menagerie - hoping to breed our sheep! That should really put the naysayers over the top!

Anyway...welcome (and come visit the June mamas board too if you'd like)!

~Erin


PS ~ I got my Kissaluvs in the mail the other day. They are just too darn cute!!

[dharmama]

Me again...

Just saw this on the TP. I'm all set but thought of you all.

Kissaluvs O's



One thing I'd ask (just out of curiosity) is why she's selling them as she's expecting this summer.

[Steve's Sweety]

Erin - Oh, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one!

I think I may have popped in either here or June mamas once before, but I will venture over there again.

Thanks for the welcome and for the heads up on the dipes.

[Smithie]

Dogs are people, too! :-)

...but our dogs sleep in our bed with us and we plan to continue allowing them to and having baby in a co-sleeper attached to the bed. Oh the flack we've gotten for that one!

I feel your pain. Everybody seems to just DELIGHT in telling us how the dogs will completely slip off our radar once James in born, yet I don't think they'll be saying similar things about James when #2 is in the works. Nor will they be suggesting that we forbid James to come upstairs or go in the nursery. Gevalt.

We did decide to rehome a foster dog (found her as a stray) that we probably would have kept if I hadn't been pregnant, but our two officially adopted dogs are members of the family. Duh. If I didn't want a 10-15 year unbreakable commitment, I would never have gotten a puppy. If I didn't want a lifelong unbreakable commitment, I wouldn't be having a baby. I don't know why this is so hard for people to comprehend.

[gonnabeamom]

Hi Gals,

I'm back! I was pregnant in December, and m/c in January. I'm pregnant again, and still at the keeping my fingers crossed stage, since I've had some spotting this time around.

I hadn't planned on u/s-was pretty vehement about not wanting routine ultrasound or doppler-which completely out the window when my blood test results were weird. So I said okay to 2 u/s and now I have weird u/s results-the baby has a heart beat but is was small for my O date which I'm reasonably sure of because I used a fertility monitor, and otherwise I got a positive test about 3 days post conception!

I've scheduled and u/s for 2 more weeks, but I feel so pregnant that I'm having a hard time thinking about this as anything but a sure thing. DH was supposedly 2 months overdue, and so I think I'm just gonna assume I got a slow grower on my hands. I didn't think I'd be ready to post here until someone told me everything was okay, but right now I really don't care.

So that's me.

On the ettiquette question about showers and registering-the Emily post Answer is that someone else is supposed to throw the shower for you, and then people are supposed to call that person to find out where you are registered/what you would like.

Mind you lots of folks do it differently.

I've already got a carrier, a sling, two hats, two kinds of booties, a sweater in progress, and about 10 onsies ( I got one yesterday for $1.30) so there may be nothing left for anyone to get me by the time I have a shower.

Thanks for letting me crash the party.

[blessed2bamommie]

Gonnabe!!!!! I've been following you since you got a . I pray that the Lord cover your baby as He has mine and that we *all have healthy babies. Congratulations! Sounds like all is well that h/h heart is beating away!