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First-time mamas - wanna chat? - Page 16

post #301 of 359
Hello. Fiddlefern said she resurrected this thread so I thought I'd check it out. I love reading all these stories!
(and oh my god/ess do I love the smilies! If I get annoying just let me know! Hehe)

My name's Renae and I'm still quite new to the forum (my super-cool prenatal yoga teacher mentioned this and since I had read Mothering and loved it, I thought I'd check it out because sometimes, I get sick of the LiveJournal communities...:LOL not to say they don't offer good things, but they usually offer drama as well and I like to avoid drama. And this pace is dedicated JUST to parenting and pregnancy and it's nice! Right...)

I'm 28 years old, my dh is 27, and this is our first little baby. As far as we can tell, he's a boy, and we're due May 19! Which makes me 36 weeks. I can't believe how close we are to this amazing thing!
I feel a little strange relaying our TTC story because I know so many people who've tried and taken much longer, and I don't want them to resent my story...but I will tell it because it was kinda unexpected. And magical.

Sometime early in July (after many months of talking about it, and when a good time would be to TTC) we decided we were ready to have a baby. So, I told my doctor, she put me on prenatals, and I went off my BC.
About a week later, my dh had a fainting spell, and I took him to the ER, and we were both very freaked out (he is absolutely fine, btw though he has to take meds now) and when I brought him home....well, one thing led to another...and we looked at each other with a look that said "is this it? Are we ready for this?"
Also, being the pagan-momma that I am, I did a sort of fertility spell/ritual at my altar the next morning, asking the universe to bring us what it felt would be right at that time. Of course, I was thinking "baby!"
The thing is, we were also attempting to buy a house at this same time, and the very next day we had to have it inspected and it was crazy so I told my darling that we HAD to wait until all this stuff was DONE! So we used contraceptives from then on.
Um, we were too late. :LOL

The next time my period was due...it wasn't there. I took a test within days of missing it, and well...
I was scared and excited and ecstatic, all at once! So was the dh.
My moral is: don't ask the Universe for things lightly! :LOL Not like I did, but well, here we are! I know we're ready...as ready as any new parents are!

I know there are other discussions going on here and I will jump in soon. I just thought y'all should get an intro first.
I am so looking forward to being a part of this community, thanks for letting me babble!

post #302 of 359
Did I silence the thread? :

Oh well.
Things that have kept me in a positive space during this pregnancy, and given me most positive vibes...
My yoga class.
Once a week, I get to be surrounded by other *beautiful* pregnant ladies, and I am amazed at what my body can still accomplish, even this far in, and it just gives me a boost for the rest of the week. The most positive thing I have ever done.
My teacher urges us on with wonderful words like "beautiful!" "awesome!" and it just makes me feel so much better about myself.

Also, my husband has been absolutely amazing in everything he has done and said during this. He supports everything I do, has been reading as much as I have (okay, maybe not as much! :LOL) and I feel exceedingly lucky to be doing this with him.

Okay, I've only had a few hour's sleep and I have to meet a friend for breakfast. Off I go. Even though I'd rather ...

post #303 of 359
Thread Starter 
my super-cool prenatal yoga teacher mentioned this
Hey wait...I think that's me!! :LOL Hi Renae!!!

Oh and this thread comes in waves...sometimes we're WAY and other times it's kind of around here. Did you find the due date clubs. That's where I tend to do most of my chatting these days.

I'm off to see my mw this morning...32 weeks...can't believe how fast things are moving.

post #304 of 359
Yay! It's IS you! Hi Erin!
I wasn't sure because I thought a forum like this would be filled with beautiful mommas who did yoga and were doulas and were just awesome. And it is! Hehe.
I did find the due date forums. It just takes me a while to navigate all of this.

Today I slept most of the day, because I didn't sleep well last night. Ugh.
My baby shower is tomorrow!! I too cannot believe how close I'm getting. It's so exciting, and scary too. Good-scary, like I'm gonna go ride my favorite roller-coaster scary. :LOL

Okay, early dinner. I didn't eat lunch because I slept through lunchtime...
post #305 of 359
Welcome Renae! Its good to have you with us!

My busy-ness in life has picked up quite a bit in the past weeks, this week in particular.

I am 21 weeks tomorrow and feeling thumping around in my belly every day, it is so cool! I saw my mw this week and everything looks great, yay!

So I have a question, have all of you thought about having visitors after your birth, people helping, staying with you, etc? I am wondering what others' plans are as I consider what I would like to request of my family (in terms of help and/or space). I have gotten a lot of good advice from experienced mamas, but am curious what the first timers have to say too.

Hope everyone is doing great!
post #306 of 359
Regarding help at and after the birth, my sister is flying in from Boston at the end of May and we are all hoping she will be here for the birth. She is staying for three weeks and I'm sure will be a great help even though she is younger than me and this will be the first birth she will ever witness and the first really really new baby she will be around. She's much more domestic than my partner or I and will inevitably be baking or cleaning or something. She also lived with us two summers ago and worked locally, so she knows the area reasonably well and will give us our space if we need it or if we ask her to.

Then my mom flies is a few days before my sister leaves and is staying for two and a half weeks until the end of June and my dad will fly in for the last 5 days. Also my best friend doesn't start working at her new nursing position until late June or early July, so I'm sure she will come hang out and help out, too. And my doula friends will inevitably bring by a meal or just come visit for short bursts. I'm glad for all the help, and I am not a "proud" person and can ask for what we truly need. I'm trying to get the house mostly organized now so anyone can find things easily.

post #307 of 359
I'm 35 weeks. ALL our family lives out of town. We have no one here. My Mum is comign in 2.5 weeks - hopefully to give us some time before the birth to just hang out and play (I haven't seen my Mum my whole pregnancy and I'm so excited to see her). She's going to stay about a month. She has every intention of helping me heal - doing the cooking/cleaning/fielding calls etc. My Dad is coming just before my due date - hopefully he'll be here for the birth. He's planning on staying just over a week.

My ILs are coming at the end of June for 2 weeks. This scares me a bit - but I hope that they understand when I say I need help I mean I need help. (and if babe comes on time, we'll be hitting the 3 wk growth spurt - so that could be interesting). I"m really counting on DH to help "manage" them a bit. So we'll see.

I'm not sure how all this will work - but I have no problems just going to bed and sayign "fend for yourself" if I need to. I'm certainly NOT going to try to be a hostess/martyr.

I've been really trying to make sure I've got quick meals in the freezer etc, house organized the whole bit - just to make it easier for everyone.
post #308 of 359
I am expecting a few visitors right after my son is born.
My blood relatives and I are not close at all. I wrote my father in NV to let him know I was having a baby, and he wrote me back with the perfunctory "boy or girl? when are you due?" and then when I wrote him back with that info he never. wrote. back. That was in November or so. I'm over it. He and my younger brother also didn't go to my wedding.
That said, I have an incredible bunch of "chosen family" in California, folks I went to high school with, who have been with me through it all.
One of them is coming at the end of May, just, as she says, "to WORK"! I love her so much for that. A friend I haven't seen in years is coming for a visit in June, to met the baby and help as much as she's able.
My MIL will be around at some point, not sure when, and that makes me a little nervous because she can be a bit, hrm, overbearing...but she means well.
My best friend just had a breast redux (I'm at her place right now taking care of her post-surgery!) but as soon as she's healed more, she's coming to help too.
Basically, I have a lot of friends who are able/willing to come and help, (one couple who had their daughter last July are lending us their baby swing and giving us a bottle sterilizer to sterilize our breast pump and few bottles with!) and we're accepting all that we need.
I have a great chosen family.
post #309 of 359
HI ladies! Long time no chat! :LOL

As far as my visitors/helpers...My mom, dad and little sister are coming about a week before my due date. My mom will stay until a week or two after I have the baby, at least. And depending on when I actually have the baby my dad and sister may or may not still be around. I think they can only stay for a week or two.
My mil lives very close, but honestly, I would prefer to not see her much before or after the baby comes. She really is overbearing and just plain nasty sometimes. I am sure I would be told all the things I am doing wrong and I think if she just stays away for the most part we will remain on good terms.

We do have some clients that have offered to help. Clean house, watch the baby so I can shower, nap, etc., but for the most part when my mom leaves I will likely be on my own. If I get too overwhelmed I have a couple of friends I could call but most of my close friends live far away.

Oh and I am 25 1/2 weeks now! Feeling the baby move alot, it is so cool. I still can't believe I am pregnant and going to have a baby soon! I actually have been getting worried about the health of the baby, no reason really, just stressing out after hearing about some stillbirths and medical issues with newborns. I guess everyone thinks about those things from time to time, right? I think that since I had a m/c last pregnancy I don't have that invincible feeling that I used to have...

Anyway, enought of the icky stuff. Has there been any recent graduates into motherhood?

post #310 of 359
Are DH and I totally crazy? We've requested a little time to ourselves before visitors come. We just want a little quiet time to adjust on our own before having visitors. Part of this is because when my mom visits (about 2 weeks after the due date), she'll be bringing my very boisterous 6 1/2 year-old brother. He's already showing some signs of jealousy of the baby (even though he already has a neice and nephew) and has told me he really wants to spend some time alone with me and without the baby. My mom has offered to take the baby out to accomodate this, but I just don't know how I feel about being separated from him/her so shortly after the birth. Any ideas?

As far as other visitors, I'm sure our local friends will be dropping by here and there to offer help and company and whatnot. DH's family, my dad, and our best friends all live about 5 or 6 hours from here. FIL doesn't travel, so he won't be visiting. MIL can't leave her geriatric cats, so she won't be visiting. My dad and stepmom will probably come for a quick weekend, unless my dad takes a job he is considering in CO. Our bestest friends in the world just had a baby of their own on Saturday, so they won't be visiting. So, for the most part, we're on our own, and no one will even get to meet the baby until we go to them for a wedding in July. Of course, DH's job may be moving us there anyway, a few weeks after the birth, so we may see people sooner than we think.

Sorry this turned into such a rant. Hope everyone is feeling well. I'm curious about Cheryl's question too- any graduates? I know a few of us are getting close!
post #311 of 359
Whoa! This is my first time on since the big change and I feel like a newbie to posting all over again!

Welcome to the MDC community Renae (yeah, I'm a little late) I bet you are beyond excited, with your due date so close. Congrats on the magickal conception of your little one.

Hmmm, visitors....I have a very wonderful friend is also a wonderful post-partum doula. She is driving in to town to help us with our new baby and possibly (dates permitting) to be at the labor. I feel very fortunate that she'll be coming! But as far as visitors who just want to drop in, I'm really hoping that there aren't too many at once &/or for too long periods of time. I think we'll need our rest. Also, I get really "hostessy" when people come over and can't let go of little messes that I could over look if it were just dh & me at home. I don't want to be worrying about that stuff when the baby is first born.

kittymama, if you don't feel comfortable leaving your baby right off the bat (and who could blame you?) perhaps you could tell your little brother that a certain naptime will be his special time for a project in the kitchen/backyard, etc...

Cheryl- ITKWYM, especially after ttcing for so long sometimes it seems "unreal" that the baby of my dreams is the movement inside of me and will soon be in my arms....

Brightest Blessings to all of you Beautiful Mamas!
post #312 of 359
Thread Starter 
Hello there mamas!

I haven't posted here in a long time. Life is a little crazy in my house right now. Actually I'm not at my house - I'm staying at my parents while the last of our floors is being finished. It's been SUCH a big pain in the neck to move EVERYTHING out of our house room by room but it will be SO worth it. No more nasty old carpets in the bedrooms and our living room (family room/dining room...the room we are always in) is being redone right now. Our old scratched up pine floor is looking beautiful!!

This is all part of my plan to do a massive purging/cleaning of our house (we're major clutter bugs) before the baby arrives.

Oh...I've also been doing lots of baby !! SO fun to wash all the tiny little dipes and onesies. Like all of you still feeling like I can't BELIEVE this is really happening (and ummm...it's happening SOON).

As for visitors...not sure how I'm going to deal with that one yet. My ENTIRE extended family lives within 40 minutes of our house. They are GREAT and my mom says everyone will be super helpful (cooking, laundry etc.) but right now I feel like I'm going to want at least a couple of days just me, DH and the baby. But I'm afraid my family will be really hurt if I try to keep them away.

Luckily we are all very close so I will feel comfortable asking people to leave or telling them that they can stay and cook/clean or whatever but that the baby and I are going to SLEEP!

post #313 of 359
I am glad to be getting the help we're getting when the baby comes, but yes, we want a while to just be us, to adjust to being a family, to enjoy bonding with our son, by ourselves. Various friends aren't visiting until the end of the month/next month, but it's my MIL I'm worried about. She has emailed my husband and told him to expect visits EVERY WEEKEND!!
I told him he HAD to politely decline this, tell her that we need some time alone to adjust, and then they can come visit, and it will NOT be weekly!
It's hard, because I also don't want to hurt feelings but I NEED "private time"! I'm very into my solitude and though I know how much that will change when I have the baby (it's already changing) it's starting to really freak me out.
I know the in-laws will come to the hospital but I want to find some way to tell them that after they have visited, they cannot just come stay at our house (they live 2 hours away though!!). We want to get our baby home, spend some time with JUST him, and then welcome people LATER.
I'm kinda having some anxiety about this right now, so that's why I'm ranting. Thanks for listening.
post #314 of 359
First time posting in this thread, but I'm glad that I stumbled onto this topic! Hi Everyone! I'm Laura, and 32 weeks! DH and I are trying to figure out where we stand on both sets of our folks visiting after our little person arrives. Everyone would be coming from out-of-town, so I'm not talking about 2 hour visits, either!

Right now we are fairly confident that everyone is coming with the best of intentions to us out with managing a household of three, but I worry that it's going to be hard to have a crowd around 24/7 for how many days at a time? And what if I struggle abandoning the *hostess* role and totally overextend myself? Despite this, I do appreciate my MIL's offer to come and make sure that I'm eating well if my own mom can't get the time off of work …

I think that my folks were a little disappointed when I mentioned that I won't be calling them the minute I start labour so that they can hit the highway to get here, but it's important to me that I have the private labour and delivery that I feel more comfortable with. Maybe when I have my own first grandchild on the way I'll understand why they're so obsessed :LOL

My sister has booked her summer holidays for three weeks after my EDD to be our unofficial post-partum doula for a week, and it's her visit and help that I'm really looking forward to. Depending when the little person actually arrives, she may be the first visitor, too.
post #315 of 359
Thread Starter 
Laura ~ So sorry for the delayed hello!

I'm 37 1/2 weeks and starting to get VERY excited about meeting my little one! I had my shower last week so I've been washing and folding all the cute little clothes and dipes. Everything is so sweet!

We did our pregnancy photos last week! Here's a link to them (I'm using my felicite registry to post pictures, because it's the only way I know how to at this point)...

Belly Photos

Anyone else doing photos???

post #316 of 359
it says it can't be displayed because session may have timed out. You registered felicity! How did that all go! I was looking at that. Were folks cool with doing it that way? That's exciting! I figure with an October date, I'd register at the end of the summer? When did you?

I plan to do photos. I forgot when you should do them. It said in the thread around here.

Glad to see this thread resurrected.
post #317 of 359
Thread Starter 
I think it should be okay now.
post #318 of 359
Thread Starter 
Oh and the Felicite registry went "ok"....not too many people used it. Darn.

But the people who did bought me some beautiful things that I really wanted (especially the wooden high chair so excited about that).

I also registered at Babies R Us and as it came close to my shower and it was apparent that most people were not using the felicite registry...I gave up on my undyed, organic towels and put some regular ol' towels on my Babies R Us registry, which were purchased almost immediately.

I did my registry in February (I'm due mid June) but really I don't think anyone looked at it until the invitations for my shower went out in April.
post #319 of 359
its good! Nice to put a face (and belly) with a name! Sorry felicite didn't go so hot. What area are you in? I'm in Raleigh-Durham, which is pretty techie and I figured that if noone else dh's coworkers would shop it. So, everything got there ok? How did you coordinate delivery? Sooooo...I guess you've just given up on all the stuff you registered for? I'd want the organic, undyeds too....

I guess you can just exchange at BRU or get credit not money to buy off your registry?

There's not a bru in Durham but a TRU...wonder where they shop? Department stores? Or if I'll have to do Target, they got a new one.
post #320 of 359
I forgot to post here! I had my baby May 22. Baby girl - Allyson Margaret Nicole. 7 lbs 3 onz. Hosp birth (planned birth center - but there was meconium in the water). Water broke last Friday at 1 pm, had the baby by 1 am Saturday. Great labour - no drugs. Incredibly empowering!!! Very little intervention (small epi). I'm feeling great. We're completely, completely in love with her. She nurses like a champ (sometimes like a baracuda - YIKES). Hopefully I'll get to post my birth story soon.

Thinkin' of all of you still waiting to have your babes! Good birth/preggo vibes to all of you!
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