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First-time mamas - wanna chat? - Page 3

post #41 of 359
gonnabeamom, I had trouble with it sinking in at first. We had a miscarriage last fall so I didn't want to get too attached for a while.. but after the nausea kicked in it started becoming more real.

shannon0218, I didn't gain any size (thank goodness), but my nipples are HUGE! Not sure when that happened exactly.

We have our first appointment with the midwife with weekend. I'm excited and hoping to hear a strong heartbeat. We still have to find a back up doc, and I really really don't want to.
post #42 of 359
Thread Starter 
beautyful Sorry I missed ya before...I think we posted at the same time....Welcome!!

Adventuregirl ~ I completed my prenatal yoga certification last summer and there were few hard and fast no-no's for pregnancy. The focus was mostly on (like all yoga classes) listening to and honoring what feels right for your body.

That said...the things I've read/heard are...avoid deep abdominal twists, after the first trimester avoid belly down postures (kind of obvious...really doesn't feel too good to lie on your belly anyway), avoid warming breaths like kapalbati (skull-shining breath) and instead do cooling breaths alternate nostril breathing and avoid lying flat on the back after approximately 20 weeks (it varies for all women).

Personally...I had a vigorous vinyasa practice before I was pregnant and I intended to continue as much as I could during pregnancy but my body wisdom quickly stepped in and slowed me down.

I have not inverted other than a supported shoulder stand (though inversions are fine during pregnancy -- and I've seen 8-month pregnant women in beautiful handstands/headstands).

I also stopped doing full wheel (backbends)...which again I've seen very pregnant friends do...but it doesn't feel right for me.

I continue to do sun salutations (with only slight modifications to accomodate my growing belly).

That's about all I can think of now....but maybe others can share their thoughts too!

Hey Butterfly!!!

gonnabe ~ The reality of this baby is hitting me slowly since we found out (well sometimes it hits in a big wave and almost knocks me over). Sometimes I burst into tears driving to work...just totally overwhelmed by the idea that in a few months there will be a little person who is totally dependant on ME.

Being around other babies certainly affects me now more than ever before. I gave my friend's 5 month old a bath the other night and got him in jammies and I was so blissed out (and at the same time SO scared) realizing that I will be doing this for our baby very soon.

It sure is a lot to process. Such a miracle. Glad to have all of you to chat with.

Have a great day everyone!

~Erin
post #43 of 359
Welcome bandana and butterflyma! Congrats on your little ones (avacados or otherwise)!

butterflyma - I really trusted my instinct to get started on pulling things together. We won't be having a shower (or at least highly unlikely) and our chances of getting hand-me-downs is nil too, so we were starting everything right from scratch. I started about a month ago. My nesting urge was telling me to start then. Before that, probably about where you are now, I needed to start getting our apt ready so I did. I don't argue with nature, it tells me what I need to do and when. I don't think there is a "right" time. Do what you need to do - it'll all be right in the end. We're pretty much ready (I'm 20 weeks) for the first while anyway.


I think for a long time I was just doing to get things done without really thinking about the full implication of *having* a baby. Now that things have slowed down for us, it's starting to hit home and even more so now that my little Chip is bumpin' around in there. Even for DH, it's starting to be more real. Everynight when we get into bed we look at the middle and think ... well, in another 4.5 months, our - OUR - baby is going to be *right* there. It's exciting and scary all at the same time (until our cat comes and plunks her butt down right there as if to say "I'm the baby". good grief).
post #44 of 359
Thanks Erin! That helps, my yoga teacher is a good friend and I am not sure if I will be telling her right away, although I know she'll get it out of me eventually.
post #45 of 359
Hey everyone-
glad to see new faces and learn more about everyone else. This is a great idea. I appreciate all the knowledge I've gained from the non-first-timers on my monthly board. But, it's also nice to talk to other first-timers, since it's a little different the first time with all the unknowns.

DH and I have been faced with the issue of when to prepare, like you brought up, butterflyma. Although we intend to parent quite differently than we were raised and than our friends are raising their kiddos (most of the AP style feels right to us), we're surrounded by more traditionally-minded folks as dh's profession as of June will be that of an Episcopal priest! (he graduates in May from seminary). So, the church ladies want to give us a shower and so do our seminary friends. The seminary group is a bit more open to alternatives but I still want to avoid getting too much "junk" I don't want. So, we plan to register at Target and/or Babies R Us just because there are no local stores and our families live in other states. And, I'd rather give people a vague idea of what we want than nothing at all. We'll just have to figure out what we really need and know that we'll still get lots of stuff we don't want. We'll end up buying some things ourselves, I expect. Our friends and family do mean well and we just hope to "direct" their energies a bit. We'll see how that goes :LOL

Another level to getting ready is the fact that we'll be leaving Austin shortly after the baby is born. It's hard to "nest" in a place I know we'll be vacating soon!

Erin, thanks for the yoga info. I ordered a prenatal yoga tape off Amazon and it should be here soon...I've been missing my class so I'm looking forward to starting up again more regularly now that I feel better.
post #46 of 359
PattyCakes-

Our cat is going through the same thing. She used to just sleep anywhere on the bed, but since we've decided that from now on she can only be at our feet or on the other side of dh, she has a strong desire to be right between us. Poor thing!

Dh says we really shouldn't worry about it- that the cat will have a sense that our baby IS a baby and will give it space when it comes, but I just feel better having it get used to the idea that some places are OK to sleep and some aren't.

Also, we've bought a basinett and stuck it right by the bed. I'm not sure which we'll do more- use the basinett or have the baby sleep between us- but I want options. We bought it early just to make sure that the cat learned from day one that the bassinett is NOT for kitty to be in. She got the picture and there's been no problem about it.

My mom is freaking out that the cat will be in the room at all, dh says it's no big deal, and I'm trying to take the middle ground. I've talked to other mommas who already have kids and who cosleep, and this seems to be an OK plan.

Other people's thoughts?

Also, did anyone read the Nov./Dec. Mothering article about toys? I've thought about requesting a "please, no plastic toys" message on shower invites, but don't know if that's rude/extreme, etc.

Opinions?
post #47 of 359
PattyCakes-

Our cat is going through the same thing. She used to just sleep anywhere on the bed, but since we've decided that from now on she can only be at our feet or on the other side of dh, she has a strong desire to be right between us. Poor thing!

Dh says we really shouldn't worry about it- that the cat will have a sense that our baby IS a baby and will give it space when it comes, but I just feel better having it get used to the idea that some places are OK to sleep and some aren't.

Also, we've bought a basinett and stuck it right by the bed. I'm not sure which we'll do more- use the basinett or have the baby sleep between us- but I want options. We bought it early just to make sure that the cat learned from day one that the bassinett is NOT for kitty to be in. She got the picture and there's been no problem about it.

My mom is freaking out that the cat will be in the room at all, dh says it's no big deal, and I'm trying to take the middle ground. I've talked to other mommas who already have kids and who cosleep, and this seems to be an OK plan.

Other people's thoughts?

Also, did anyone read the Nov./Dec. Mothering article about toys? I've thought about requesting a "please, no plastic toys" message on shower invites, but don't know if that's rude/extreme, etc.

Opinions?
post #48 of 359
Thread Starter 
Re: plastic toys etc.

The way I think I'm going to handle this is...I've talked extensively with my mom about the kinds of things we'd like to have in our house (wooden toys, natural fibers, anything homemade etc.) and the things we'd rather not have in our house (plastic "junk" toys, just about any toys that make noise and/or need batteries :LOL). My mom is trying to spread the word throughout the family -- not that anyone is surprised...I'm the crazy who WANTS to cloth diaper!

I also signed my mom up to receive the Rosie's Hippos catalog (Have ya seen it? All natural toys, books etc.) so she could guide people in our very large extended family as to what kinds of gifts we would prefer.

I'm planning to register at babies r us (even though I HATE going in that place : ) for some basics - car seat, baby bjorn, jog stroller.

And then I'm looking for a WAHM - natural parenting type Web site to register at online (I've found a few that offer gift registry) so hopefully I can get some help with my cloth diaper stash, snugglewools etc.

I'm not sure how I feel about "please no plastic toys" on the invite. (I know there are mamas here at MDC who have done that though!) For me...it feels too pretentious (not sure if that's the word I'm looking for).

So I'm going to try my approach and take my chances. I can think of a few people who are probably going to buy what I consider "junk" no matter what I say or do. :

~Erin
post #49 of 359
fiddlefern - we'll be doing the same thing... getting a bassinette to have options. We also purchased a snuggle time (thing that goes between the pillows on our bed with hard sides) - just until we get used to the baby in our bed.

The good thing about us purchasing things ourselves is that we can choose what we want and don't want! When my parents or dh's parents ask what to send us we ask for easy things like "cotton sleepers" etc... and that way it works easily. We're really trying to keep it simple ourselves. There's just so much crap out there! Man, BabiesRUs is overwhelming to me. I feel ill after coming out of there. There are so many things we won't KNOW for sure until baby arrives... so we have enough to get us going for the early weeks/months and then we'll be able to proceed based on the personality of the baby (and the weather).

As far as toys go, our families are pretty good. My FIL is going to make us some wooden trucks etc (for girl or boy) and many people in our family woodwork and my Mum sews as well. I'm sure they'll be no shortage of natural toys. Some plastic is inevitable these days I think.. and frankly, at this point I'm not going to be hyper-vigilant about it. It'll all balance out and if I really hate it then I'll just send it on. My MIL has a tendency to go overboard with noisy plastic toys, but we live pretty far away, so it won't be as bad for us as it is for SIL (poor woman). They usually ask what kinds of things we'd like to have as well and are pretty good about sticking within the range.
post #50 of 359
Just some quick advice for the people who want to share their bed with baby and cat, from the animal behaviorist :
Practice first with a doll where the baby will be, if the cat still wants to sleep where the doll has invaded, put some tinfoil in places on the doll. Cats hate tinfoil and won't as a rule walk across it. Tinfoil works really well for preventing them from getting into the basinette as well. Many claim their pets (especially cats) "know" they are pregnant and hover and are more friendly to preg moms, often after delivery the need to be really close to you diminishs. For me it's our 100 lb dog who has suddenly decided it would be safest for him to sleep on top of me, or if I'm on the couch, he's on the opposite side resting his big melon head on top of mine.
post #51 of 359
I've worried a bit about having our cats in bed with us when the baby comes. Whenever we've had babies come and spend the night with us they slept in or beside our bed, the cats slept in the other room. In fact our cats generally avoid children at all costs. But, I worry that with our baby the cats will get used to a little one and not be so shy...those old wives tales about cats and babies do get to me: I'll have to keep some tinfoil on hand

As for the stuff people want to give; our biggest dillemma was the crib. People in dh's family were insistent on purchasing a crib. We had to tell them over and over that we will not be using a crib. We are accepting a hand-me-down bassinett for downstairs naps. I can't imagine what his family would say/feel if I said no plastic I think I'll just have to register for non-toys and drop subtle hints over time. Another thing I'm asking for, in the hopes that one or 2 people might go in, is a couple of months of diaper service from the natural diaper service. I plan on doing my own cloth diapering, but I thought it might be nice in the first month or two to have a little bit of a respite from laundry.
post #52 of 359
Wow it is so awesome to see so many familiar ladies! Erin, Shannon, Brandi, Jaqueline, adventuregirl, I know there are others too! Hi Everyone!!!

I am in my 9th week and very anxious to get throught this first trimester. I am so nervous and feel so lousy. :Puke It is nice to see so many ladies who had previous m/c safely in their 2nd adn 3rd trimester! It gives me much hope and excitement.

I have to admit I only read the first and last pages of this thread before posting. I hope you don't mind. But I wanted to say hi and wish everyone a healthy happy pregnancy and first baby!!!

BTW, I am 28 I have been married for 3 1/2 years to my dh who is 31. We had a m/c in November of 2002 and got pregnant almost exactly a year later in November of 2003. (I think I actually ovulated about a day or two after my m/c anniversary date!) I am nervous because of the amount of bleeding I have had since the beginning and there has been a suggestion that I have lost a twin, maybe...: All the blood tests have been very promising and the nausea I just CAN'T ignore. It has gotten worse this past week. :Puke

It is so great to hear about all of your pregnancies!
post #53 of 359
Wow, I guess I really need to do my research - what's wrong with plastic toys. I'm probably the most clueless first time mama around!!

I'm right there with some of you on the cats issue. DH and I are big cat freaks and have six of them! Only one never sleeps on the bed but the rest take turns and sometimes even pile up at the same time ..... all using various parts of my body as a pillow! DH and I do plan to have a crib though we'll be using a bassinet in our room at the beginning but it's going to take a lot of planning and training for our kitties to get that the bassinet, crib, and baby are off limits! They are very spoiled and stubborn fur-babies.

I will be entering my second trimester soon and jsut can't wait. I have to say though that I'm still waiting on the exhaustion to subside and for that "glow" to kick in.
post #54 of 359
Hi again everyone!

On the cat notes, we have one cat who loves to sleep on the bed with us, but he's been very very good about not trying to lie down on my belly in the past few months, which is very good since even wearing pants has been uncomfortable for me. He's a unique being, and we have spoiled him beyond belief. He's also very photogenic (a black-and-white tuxedo cat), unlike our little black cat, who is always just a little too talkative or a little too bouncy or has too many claws out or something.

I'm not really worried about them with the baby. I am curious how they will act at the birth, though, since we are planning a homebirth. The little black one will probably hide in some far corner, but our wizened tuxedo cat will probably sit high upon a bookshelf or something simply watching the whole event unfold. In between snack breaks, of course. This is what we like to think anyway.

We're still trying to figure out the logistics of having baby in bed with us. My partner fears that he moves too much, so putting baby in between us would be our last choice. My mom and sister spotted a moses basket when doing some shopping and asked me if I would like one for the first few months before baby can roll over and such. (They know we are planning on co-sleeping.) We thought about it and decided it would be a nice option instead of always having to wedge the baby in for a nap and such and instead of always having to carry him or her.

I just remembered a funny comment from Bill's mom when we were back visiting in early November: she asked if we were going to turn our guest bedroom into the baby's room, and he answered not right away, since we are planning on co-sleeping. She said, "I think you're just getting a little too earthy for me..." and smiled. It was very humorous.

warmly,
claudia
post #55 of 359
It is really funny what some people consider "earthy" or weird, and what they think is normal. I have a good friend (guy) with two little daughters, who is the best, most amazing dad ever. When the girls were infants, he didn't let anyone else hold them, always carried them around, champion diaper-changer, work-from-home dad, etc., etc. BUT, he is the biggest freak about breastfeeding past the age of 2. For some reason, he thinks that is the grossest, most disgusting thing in the world. One of our mutual friends did breastfeed her son 'til about 3 years or so, and the guy friend just can't get over it. ?! I can't wait to see what he'll think of some of my childrearing practices! :

On the two most recent topics, cats and toys, I am more worried about toys than cats . My cat is a strange one, will probably run in fear of the new babe for the first six months. He freaks at the slightest noise or movement, so I don't think he'll be too fond of the crying, slobbering, flailing bean for a while.

About toys: we are moving into a tiny, one-bedroom house in a month, and I don't want many toys at all, plastic or no! Or a crib, playpen, baby bath, giant singing swing, etc., etc. My poor relatives will just have to wait, or buy us groceries or savings bonds or something.

Sarah
post #56 of 359
Thread Starter 
I recently did a flop-flop on the crib issue. :

At first I did NOT want one at all (despite the fact that friends offered hand-me-downs and my mom offered to buy a new one).

Then I talked to a couple of co-sleeping friends and they both use cribs (as side-cars next to their bed). They have found it to be the best of both worlds....plenty of opportunity for snuggling, easy bf-ing etc. and lots of space for adults who like to stretch out.

We have a queen size bed...I'm 5'7" and DH is 6'3" so we're a little concerned about the squish factor if we try to fit everyone in one bed. And then I do worry about safety too...our bed is pretty high off the ground and we're in the process of installing wood floors.

My parents have my crib (that was also used by my sister and all five of my cousins) in their garage. We're going to dig it out and see what kind of condition it is in (and check the width of the bar spacing etc.). I would to use that as a side-car....I personally prefer used baby items to new...as the used items are already infused with lots of good baby energy!

Hey Cheryl!! Great to see you! Sending lots of vibes your way!!!

Snowbaby ~ My issue with plastic toys is that they tend to be poorly made, break easy and therefore end up taking up precious space in the landfill. I also worry about the plastic chemicals themselves...I don't like the thought of my baby chomping on a big hunk of plastic. Oh and...from what I've seen the plastic toys seem to nearly always require batteries and make all kinds of annoying noises (designed to make my baby smarter...right. : ). I'm trying really hard not to be too extreme about what I will and won't "allow" in my house. But I do get really sad when I see babies surrounded by blinking, beeping "gadgets" designed to entertain them -- when I believe that all babies really want/need is to be held and snuggled and talked to and sung to....

Okay I'll stop now!

~Erin


PS ~ I miss my cats!
post #57 of 359
TurboClaudia - your tuxedo cat sounds exactly like my cat (and we have an all black one too). She's very photogenic - in fact, she gets insulted if you treat her like a cat. She's VERY nosy - but doesn't usually like children very much - so maybe I'll be lucky and she'll behave. The other cat will be fine. I'm not worried about her at all.

My one cat though (the queen bee) loves to snuggle in under my arm and either put her head on my chest or my belly. She has been much more snuggly since I've been pregnant. If I was birthing at home, I have no doubt that she'd be right in the middle of it all.

The tinfoil is a good idea. Maybe we'll try that.

We do NOT have room for a crib right now, so we're not even discussing it. We'll have the bassinette and perhaps a cradle and that will be more than enough for now - when and if we need them. We may want a crib farther down the road, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

naturegirl - welcome and congratulations!
post #58 of 359
*waves* Hi everyone! I'm not exactly new to the board, but haven't posted in a very long time. Where to start...I'm 31, dh is 25 and after a year and a half of trying we're finally expecting. (I'm still trying to get my head around this. Maybe it will be easier to grasp after I see the doctor next Thursday.)

I have to admit, I'm just a wee bit overwhelmed and a little freaked out. Even after three positive home tests and a positive blood test, I still find it hard to believe. Nothing seems any different. I've been a bit queasy, but that happens to me a lot normally. Though I have discovered a real aversion to dairy products and sweets.

Oh, and speaking of cats, we've got 5. I'm not sure how they'll react to a baby, since they've only had a child around twice, I think, and only for very short times.

Lazuli
post #59 of 359
OOooo... great conversations, ladies!

Naturegirl, its great to see you too, I'm so glad your little one is hanging in there, you have been in my thoughts.

So, as for cats, we have one, who goes through phases of needing to sleep in the bed. He is pretty good if I move him around and is very aware of new creatures in the house. We got baby chicks last spring and we were sure he'd try to eat them, but with proper intorduction, he got it that they were a part of the family and respects that. So not that chickens really compare to a baby, but I think he is pretty tuned in and therefore I am not really worried about his adjustment.

We also have a very small house which I think will come in handy when the gift showering begins. We plan to co-sleep, but want a sidecar crib that can be used for naps and travel. DH is nervous about the logistics of cosleeping, but I am insistent, so the sidecar is a good compromise with other purposes. I want to have as many functions as possible so there is much less stuff in the house.

I plan to add "please, no plastic" to our shower invites. I do not like the chemicals that can leech out to the baby or the excessive pollution it takes to make them. People can think what they want, but I really don't want any plastic if at all possible. Most of my family and friends think I'm pretty weird already, so they shouldn't be all that surprised. I'm thinking that this may also cause people to be more creative in their gift giving, which is always fun.

About registering, I saw a thread a while back where a MDC mama found a registry online that allows you to add items from multiple online stores. Let me check... yes it is Organic Bebe, see this link, it has Registry Consolidation, pretty cool.
http://www.organicbebe.com/gift_registry.asp
post #60 of 359
Thread Starter 
Adventuregirl ~ Thanks for the link! I also went back and bumped the old thread about gift registries to see if anyone else has anything to add!

T I didn't know you have chickens! We do too! We also raise Shetland sheep...which is one of the reasons I really want Snugglewools for our babe (they are shorn wool connected to a natural backing...as opposed to lambskin. )

Hi Lazuli!! Welcome!

~Erin
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