not intact 20 mo. old

[KittyDanger]

We circ'd our son, I guess, more out of habbit than for any other reason. DH is circ'd and I have never been with a man who wasn't so it just seemed the thing to do.


Now I am thinking it wasn't the right decision for a number of reasons, one of them being that he keep complaining his "pee pee huwts".

My mom is watching him while we work and I think she may be retracting it sometimes when the notion strikes her. I have heard two schools of thought on this. Should it be retracted or not? He still has a lot of foreskin for being circ'd and sometimes the tip goes completely into the shaft...I just leave it alone bc I just tend to have a wait and see policy on things, and bc I have heard that when he gets erections it will seperate on its own and won't be as painful.

My mom tends to worry about things and I guess she is doing it out of concern, or thinking it's going to get dirty under there...

Thoughts?

[mama2myangels07]

Originally Posted by KittyDanger

We circ'd our son, I guess, more out of habbit than for any other reason. DH is circ'd and I have never been with a man who wasn't so it just seemed the thing to do.


Now I am thinking it wasn't the right decision for a number of reasons, one of them being that he keep complaining his "pee pee huwts".

My mom is watching him while we work and I think she may be retracting it sometimes when the notion strikes her. I have heard two schools of thought on this. Should it be retracted or not? He still has a lot of foreskin for being circ'd and sometimes the tip goes completely into the shaft...I just leave it alone bc I just tend to have a wait and see policy on things, and bc I have heard that when he gets erections it will seperate on its own and won't be as painful.

My mom tends to worry about things and I guess she is doing it out of concern, or thinking it's going to get dirty under there...

Thoughts?

No it should not be retracted at all by anyone but HIM when it's comfortable for your son

[Yulia_R]

He absolutely should NOT be retracted. It can cause some serious complications such as infections, scar tissue growth and permanent nerve damage.

It sounds like his penis has been through enough already, please make a point to protect it from harm from now on.

[Dabble]

Chiming in to say leave it alone. With any luck the foreskin will stretch enough as he grows so that he will have some semblance of intactness left, as opposed to being left with a tight circ and no foreskin at all.

Tell your mother in no uncertain terms that she is not to mess with it at all. That is most definitely the reason he is complaining about it hurting.

[glongley]

OTOH, sometimes when there is a cuff of foreskin left, and it is not attached, or only partially attached back to the head of the penis, stuff can get trapped in there, and lead to inflammation. People often circumcise because they think it is easier to keep clean, but actually for loose circ, it involves MORE to do than with an intact boy, with the need to make sure its not trapping poop, lint, etc.

I'd say if it is loose, then rinsing under there regularly would be in order to keep the risk for inflammation down. But forceful retraction, or ripping adhesions back, no.

Gillian

[KittyDanger]

Thank you mamas. We will be leaving him be from now on. Poor little guy.
No more circ for this family. There's no way I would have let that happen to my daughter...

[Yulia_R]

Originally Posted by KittyDanger

Thank you mamas. We will be leaving him be from now on. Poor little guy.
No more circ for this family. There's no way I would have let that happen to my daughter...

[mama2myangels07]

Originally Posted by KittyDanger

Thank you mamas. We will be leaving him be from now on. Poor little guy.
No more circ for this family. There's no way I would have let that happen to my daughter...

H2H

[littlemizflava]

Originally Posted by KittyDanger

My mom is watching him while we work and I think she may be retracting it sometimes when the notion strikes her.

My mom tends to worry about things and I guess she is doing it out of concern, or thinking it's going to get dirty under there...

Thoughts?

If she feels that his penis is dirty tell her to plop him in the tub with just water to play that would wash out any "dirt" and dont retract it at all when washing treat like a intact boy wipe from body to tip.

[Ruthla]

I think you need to talk to your mom rather than assume she's been retracting him. This might be the case, but then again it may not be. In any case, let her know not to retract him (whether or not she's done so in the past.) Just make sure that when you speak to her, it's with an informational tone, not an accusatory one.

Remember that your son is only 20 months old and doesn't have a full vocabulary yet. He can't say "this sensation I get when I have an erection is unfamiliar and I can't decide if it feels good or not." He knows that painful stimulation is called "hurt" so he uses that word to describe any stimulation that's unfamiliar. So you can't assume that what he's feeling is truly pain just from his descriptions. If you're uncertain, take him to a medical professional to be evaluated.

[latinalonestar]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

If you're uncertain, take him to a medical professional to be evaluated.

I strongly advise against this b/c the chance that the doc will forcibly retract him is very high, especially since he is circed already. The doc may also fill your mind with the idea that he needs a corrective circ, resulting in more loss of his precious foreskin.

Just leave it alone and tell your mom that she is not to retract him for any reason.

(hugs)

[Bm31]

Originally Posted by latinalonestar

The doc may also fill your mind with the idea that he needs a corrective circ, resulting in more loss of his precious foreskin.

Yes, don't fall for this. I had a very loose circ as an infant and my parents were convinced to go along with a re-circ. That's when they REALLY messed things up. :

[eepster]

Originally Posted by KittyDanger

sometimes the tip goes completely into the shaft...

When you say this, do you mean that what's left of his foreskin covers the head, or that it is closing up around the meatus (pee hole)?

Coverage is good, but closing up isn't.

[robertandenith]

My believe is that it is going over the shaft just before the glans?

[KittyDanger]

The foreskin comes up enough to make it look like he's not circumsized. Does that make sense? His urethra is still visable.

And I always thought vaginas were the complicated organs. HA!

[latinalonestar]

Originally Posted by KittyDanger

The foreskin comes up enough to make it look like he's not circumsized. Does that make sense? His urethra is still visable.

And I always thought vaginas were the complicated organs. HA!

That is WONDERFUL news!!! He has what is called a partial circ which means the foreskin left is still able to serve some of the VERY important functions:
-Protection of the glands to retain sensitivity
-preserved gliding mechanism for use during intercourse and masturbation later in life
-preserved lubrication maintaining the mucus membrane
-less loss of nerve receptors and specialized tissue
-preserved frenulum (which is a very sensitive area for a man)

[Treece]

Originally Posted by latinalonestar

-preserved frenulum (which is a very sensitive area for a man)

Are you sure that a partial circ leaves the frenulum? I was under the impression that the circer can always choose to scrape it off......

[latinalonestar]

Originally Posted by Treece

Are you sure that a partial circ leaves the frenulum? I was under the impression that the circer can always choose to scrape it off......

The frenulum is near the very base of the foreskin so it is generally preserved with a partial circ. Every partial circ I have seen has still had the frenulum. You would have to do a pretty crazy and uneven circ to take off the frenulum and still leave most the foreskin. The frenulum connects the foreskin on the underside of the penis.

[ChristaN]

Originally Posted by latinalonestar

The frenulum is near the very base of the foreskin so it is generally preserved with a partial circ. Every partial circ I have seen has still had the frenulum. You would have to do a pretty crazy and uneven circ to take off the frenulum and still leave most the foreskin. The frenulum connects the foreskin on the underside of the penis.

Dh's circ seems "partial" in that his glans retreats inside skin when not erect. He, however, has no frenulum, just a line where it should be.

[latinalonestar]

Originally Posted by ChristaN

Dh's circ seems "partial" in that his glans retreats inside skin when not erect. He, however, has no frenulum, just a line where it should be.

That is interesting. My dh has a partial which is extremely partial b/c his foreskin still covers very well and his frenulum is totally intact.