Nursing Covers--a step forward or backward?

[2lilsweetfoxes]

In your opinion, is the rampant availability of nursing covers a step forward or backward in terms of "breastfeeding in public acceptance". On one hand, the fact they are available may encourage women who otherwise might not breastfeed at all in public (either go "hide" or take bottles--whether of EBM or formula) to give it a go. On the other, some people may actually "expect" mothers to use them and if she does not, she is being indecent and immodest.

[bbrandonsmom]

I feel the same way, I think they are good and bad. I think they may encourage more women to try nip, but at the same time, like you I hope it does not make the public feel they are necessary for a mom to nip.
With ds1 I had a blanket I tried covering him up with since I was unsure, but that just didn't work really. It got in the way. I didn't nip him too much. Ds2 I nursed in a sling, so no one could see him anyhow. What a relief and difference that was nip the second time around.
I've seen a bunch of women frustrated with blankets and cover ups. Some that I see enough like at story time etc, eventually end up not using one.

[KimberlyD0]

Hard to say.

I persoanally see them as a good thing, because I had to use one. It was a great help in the first months of BF, especially while I was still using a nipple sheild. I did it for MY privacy not for anyone else. kwim?

I am blessed I live where NIP and nursing in general are the norm. Actually I got more nasty looks and comments when I FF DD#1 when I couldn't BF.

Soon as I was rid of the dreaded nipple sheild and more confident I stopped using the cover.

So I suppose in the end it depends who you as and what the perspective.

[musiclady]

For me, it would encourage me to be more likely to NIP.

[tracymom1]

I think that it is every breastfeeding woman's right to do what makes HER feel most comfortable. I wasted $30 on a cover-up and absolutely hated it and never used it - I got over my initial modesty right quick. But when I see a mom NIP with a cover, I feel just as proud of her and happy for her baby that she is providing the best nutritional and emotional support for her child as I do of women who don't use one.

I understand why they are seen as a type of set-back, but I really think some people are just shy or modest and like the privacy. No big deal either way

[frontierpsych]

Even without nursing covers, people who think it should be hidden would likely tell women they should use a blanket to cover up. I don't think it makes that much difference. It just makes covering up easier for those who want to do it for their own reasons.

[jeanine123]

I don't really have a problem with the covers themselves. I do have a problem when people start to assume that it's an acceptable gift to give to an expecting mom when it isn't on her gift registry. And, as others have stated already, when people start to think that you must use one when you're out and about, whether you want to or not. Just because some women feel more comfortable using one doesn't mean everyone feels that way. I try to point this out as much as I can, especially when I run across people recommending them as part of a BFing support basket or some such thing.

[Leta]

I think they are fine. I don't use one, but I've never felt like I needed one- I always had a tank top and another shirt, and usually a sling. I felt like covers drew more attention.

But if someone wants one, hey, whatever floats your boat.

[rjruiz_415]

Personally, I think they are ridiculous. I think they look silly and scream *i am nursing, but am covering so I do not show anything...* It makes me sad when I see women using them, and then it makes me mad when I hear women talking about how it is just such a PITA cause their 8month old will NOT keep the cover on, but of course they *have* to keep using it... I totally get that new moms might need a little encouragement and might not be comfy NIP yet, but if there were no such things as covers, and everyone who nursed did so with no cover, then there wouldn't be much of an issue. I mean, if the only nursing you had ever seen was someone just nursing the baby, no blanket or cover or anything, would you not just assume that was how you nursed? You would not see a need for a cover.

[betsyj]

I used one initially and now I don't. All I care about is that women breastfeed their children in whatever manner they feel comfortable with. Our mileage varies in some many ways I find it hard to fault anyone for choosing their own level of comfort.

[prothyraia]

Sideways. :

No- really. I think it's a bit sad if women feel like it would be unacceptable for them to nurse in public without them. But the fact that they exist at all is because more women *are* nursing, and wanting to nurse while they're out and about (rather than staying home, or using bottles).

If they let some women dodge feelings of harrassment or discomfort or whatever while the culture shifts to being more nursing-friendly, then that's fine. And I do think the culture is shifting. The more women who nurse, the more normal/ized it becomes, and the sillier it seems to try and hide what you're doing.

[FondestBianca]

as someone who has been the target of unwelcomed sexual harrassment and advance simply because I have large breasts and a not-so-large body I want no part of my breasts exposed in public.... none. Some ladies may be able to just brush this off, wage war against the offender right there on the spot, or may actually enjoy the attention (or have never had to deal with this kind of attention on any serious level) but, I, for one, do not. I cover and feel that I will always cover. Typically I just plan my outings around BFing and just leave the store or function if ds gets hungry. Yes, thats how uncomfortable I am with my breasts being even the slightest bit exposed. Heck, I don't even like wearing shirts that are scoop neck (I've totally given up bathing suits in public). I don't like cleavage showing so nipple is a total no-no for me. It has nothing to do with sparing someone the sight of my breasts and everything to do with sparing myself the terrible feeling that comes with being watched, stared at by men, or being on the recieving end of sexual comments from strangers and most severely, feelings of threat to my safety or my child's safety.

I EBF and ds has never even seen a bottle and I find it insane that BF supporters think I'm doing a disservice to society by keeping my BFing expereince out of the public eye (I have no problem talking about BF however. I just won't be giving any visuals). Honestly, how DARE anyone judge someone for covering. I didn't even know this nasty form of discrimination even existed in the BF community until just yesterday when I came across a couple threads in this forum. I knew people wrongfully judged others for not covering but had no idea people were equally unfairly judged for covering. It's insensitive, uninformed, and quite frankly makes me a little sick and definatly dissappointed in people.

[PiePie]

Originally Posted by 2lilsweetfoxes

On the other, some people may actually "expect" mothers to use them and if she does not, she is being indecent and immodest.

I have experienced this and I think they are a big step backward. I totally resent when mamas use them, and I try not to shop at stores that sell them.

[limabean]

There's actually already a long thread about this subject a few posts down. Here's the link:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1054890

[momo7]

I reallly don't understand this issue....if someone wants to cover up what's the big deal? Many women just want to be modest for their own persoanl satisfaction...because it makes them feel better. I have very many friends who cover up because they just want to. sometimes I do....sometimes I don't....no big deal.

So why is it some women find it offensive that some other women want to cover up? It's like they think they are being attacked or looked down on because they don't want to cover up.

Honestly....isn't the point that mothers nurse at all? It really bugs me : that there are women who think covering up is a bad thing...like it's a direct affront to them other women are trying to be descreet for thier own personal satisfaction. It's their decision to cover up just as it is the decision of another woman to not cover up.

[junipermuse]

Originally Posted by momo7

So why is it some women find it offensive that some other women want to cover up? It's like they think they are being attacked or looked down on because they don't want to cover up.

It's not LIKE we are being looked down on or being attacked because we don't want to cover up, in many cases we ARE being attacked or looked down on. I have actually been verbally attacked on several occasions for not covering while nursing and so have many other mothers I know. And I'm sure there have been many other people who have or do look down me for not covering while I nurse my child. Not necessarily by women using the covers, but the use of covers is related to the attacks and judgement.

Now I'm not saying that women shouldn't cover if that's how they feel most comfortable. The most important thing is that a baby is being breastfed, no doubt. But it is important to keep in mind that actions speak louder than words and that women who cover are sending non-verbal messages to the rest of society. I know most people will say that are not nursing to make a statement, but the truth is, it makes one regardless of your intention. And nursing with a cover makes the statement that nursing must be hidden. It makes the statement that the appropriate way to nurse (you know modestly and discreetly) is under a cover and that women who choose not to or being brazen and disrespectful. It sends the message that covering is a reasonable expectation of all mothers who choose to breastfeed. I don't think these messages are helpful or beneficial to the overall cause of breastfeeding.

That being said, I don't think hooter hiders are a step forward or a step back. I think they are a sign of the times. An indication of our society struggling with ambivalent feelings regarding breastfeeding's place in the lives of mothers, children, families and the community. For some they are a godsend, allowing them to feed their child on the go, when otherwise they wouldn't. For others they are tool of oppression.

I have my own mixed experience with hooter hiders. I was given one as a gift before my dd was born, but it was by a friend who had breastfed her dd for 18 months and who hadn't used one herself, but I think she thought it was a THING she could give me to support nursing, as opposed to the bottles and pacifiers people often give expectant mothers. I wasn't offended although I knew I'd never use it. I ended up giving it to a mother I knew who was breastfeeding, but was not comfortable enough to do so in public. She was going on a plane ride and I hoped she'd use it to nurse her ds instead of feeling like she had to give him a bottle. I always nursed my dd openly in front of her, so I was sure she wouldn't see it as a suggestion to use one rather than nurse openly. And I think that is really where the issue is. If some mother's seem to be judgemental or take offense at mothers who use nursing covers it is because they are afraid of being judged either by or against the women who use them. I try to be open minded and positive about their use (isn't it wonderful she's nursing), but I can't help wonder why a mom feels its necessary, or if she thinks I'm doing something wrong by nursing without one. And I certainly feel angry when nursing covers are held up by other members of society as the gold standard for nursing in public.

[2lilsweetfoxes]

Originally Posted by momo7

So why is it some women find it offensive that some other women want to cover up? It's like they think they are being attacked or looked down on because they don't want to cover up.

To me, I could care less if anyone uses them. Some are actually kinda cute, although I prefer my sling anyways--since I'm probably having to chase my other kids around, I'll have my hands free. What irks me is when people get upset when moms do not use them.

[FondestBianca]

Originally Posted by junipermuse

It's not LIKE we are being looked down on or being attacked because we don't want to cover up, in many cases we ARE being attacked or looked down on. I have actually been verbally attacked on several occasions for not covering while nursing and so have many other mothers I know. And I'm sure there have been many other people who have or do look down me for not covering while I nurse my child. Not necessarily by women using the covers, but the use of covers is related to the attacks and judgement.

Now I'm not saying that women shouldn't cover if that's how they feel most comfortable. The most important thing is that a baby is being breastfed, no doubt. But it is important to keep in mind that actions speak louder than words and that women who cover are sending non-verbal messages to the rest of society

so what you (and others with your view) are saying is that you hate that you have been unjustly judged for the way in which you choose to BF. sooo, in turn, in some backwards way you judge others unjustly for the way in which they BF. That make no sense.

it sounds like the very verbal message you are sending to society is that there is only one right way to do it and anything short of that is doing a disservice. I do hope you realize just how hypocritical that is.

I also hope people who have a problem with others who cover realize there very well could be a very serious reason that they do cover. Things aren't always surface deep. I suggest you find out why on an indivual basis certain people cover rather than assuming. Or just let it go and stay out the the private business of others.

Being naked in comfortable tempatures is natural too... but I don't suppose you'd feel comfortable walking around the mall naked would you (especially if a majority of the population is clothed)?

[PaulaJoAnne]

Originally Posted by FondestBianca

so what you (and others with your view) are saying is that you hate that you have been unjustly judged for the way in which you choose to BF. sooo, in turn, in some backwards way you judge others unjustly for the way in which they BF. That make no sense.

it sounds like the very verbal message you are sending to society is that there is only one right way to do it and anything short of that is doing a disservice. I do hope you realize just how hypocritical that is.

I also hope people who have a problem with others who cover realize there very well could be a very serious reason that they do cover. Things aren't always surface deep. I suggest you find out why on an indivual basis certain people cover rather than assuming. Or just let it go and stay out the the private business of others.

Being naked in comfortable tempatures is natural too... but I don't suppose you'd feel comfortable walking around the mall naked would you (especially if a majority of the population is clothed)?

:
My breasts are for the enjoyment of my husband, and when I have a child, for the childs nourishment.
I do not and will not display them to the world, regardless of the situation.
Those that feel differently are welcome to practice breastfeeding however they choose, but please do not condemn the modest choices of others.
signed,
a conservative Christian

[Britishmum]

Originally Posted by FondestBianca

so what you (and others with your view) are saying is that you hate that you have been unjustly judged for the way in which you choose to BF. sooo, in turn, in some backwards way you judge others unjustly for the way in which they BF. That make no sense.

it sounds like the very verbal message you are sending to society is that there is only one right way to do it and anything short of that is doing a disservice. I do hope you realize just how hypocritical that is.

I also hope people who have a problem with others who cover realize there very well could be a very serious reason that they do cover. Things aren't always surface deep. I suggest you find out why on an indivual basis certain people cover rather than assuming. Or just let it go and stay out the the private business of others.

Being naked in comfortable tempatures is natural too... but I don't suppose you'd feel comfortable walking around the mall naked would you (especially if a majority of the population is clothed)?

I think that Junipermuse made an extremely thoughtful post, and that it was clear that she was not judging anyone for using a cover. I cannot see how someone who says "I'm not saying that women shouldn't cover if that's how they feel most comfortable. The most important thing is that a baby is being breastfed, no doubt" can be accused of being hypocritical or judgmental. That makes zero sense to me.

The problem is that if we just take turns being offended we never have a rational discussion.

I thought that the observation that HHs are not so much a step forward or backward, but a sign of our times was astute.

Junipermuse, I thought your post was thought-provoking and very rational. I don't understand how it was in anyway offensive or hypoctrical.

I do think that those of us who want to discuss this as being a wider issue than 'stay out of one another's business' are going to be on a hiding to nothing. I believe that knee-jerk 'support other mamas' and 'it's up to me what I do with my body' responses are missing the chance to actually consider the culture that we are working within as lactivists. And this forum is 'Lactivism', after all. I assumed that those on this forum would want to discuss aspects of lactivism from that perspective - ie discussing the issues without taking offense if other people have different perspectives, and not diminishing the issue down to 'let other people do what they want to do, whatever rocks your boat, using a cover or not is no biggie'.

IMO this is a big issue, and one that it is worth us thinking about, beyond the superficial. These discussions have certainly made me think, and I just wish that we could have them without people seeing things so simplistically, or as a personal affront to those who do or don't use a cover.