frustrated, seems like i just don't fit.

[sarahwpen]

how to deal with going to church when most of what is taught there, i do not believe?

My husband wants to go, my daughter wants to go, i really need some kind of social contact with other adults, but so far i am not seeing anything that i really would consider beneficial. My son usually does not want to go, and I HATE making him go if he doesn't want to. My parents did that and it only caused a lot of resentment.

my beliefs don't really fit into any particular organized religion. Cherokee traditional beliefs seem to fit best so far, but I really object to a lot of basic christian, islamic, Buddhist, and other "religious" doctrines. My husband was raised pretty much absent of religious influence, except for his dad (not living with them) who was a church of god christian. dh seems to believe most of what i believe, but he doesn't have the same objections that i do.

I guess my biggest concern is that I want my kids to be able to choose what they believe for themselves, and not to push them into anything just because one or both of US believes it. dh doesn't really seem to see my veiwpoint here because our backgrounds are so different. I don't really think that either of us are being REALLY pushy, but the question of where to go, and who will go is the biggest thing i guess. Any suggestions?

[Llyra]

Do you have a Unitarian-Universalist congregation near you? Most of the people in our UU church are coming from a perspective that sounds exactly like yours. Now, every congregation is different, and some are more open than others, but in general the UU is a great place for folks who aren't sure what they believe, or even IF they believe, but they really want the support of a community of "seekers," while they're working on figuring it out.

[Llyra]

http://www.uua.org/visitors/6798.shtml

This is the website for the UU Association's basic principles.

[Adele_Mommy]

I second Llyra's UU recommendation. There is an on-going UU thread on this forum you are welcome to check out: March Unitarian Universalist Thread

[Bluegoat]

It would be good if you could find a church that believes something similar to what you do. As far as pushing your children, as long as they know that they are responsible for their own beliefs, I don't see how it is being pushy to teach them according to yours. Kids ask parents questions all the time that delve into our spiritual beliefs - what happens after people die, why can't I lie.cheat, where did everything come from. It seems silly to me that we would not try to answer those questions according to what we think is true. Kids will begin to realize as they get older that not everyone believes the same thing and will start to come to their own conclusions.

[DahliaRW]

If your dh wants to go, why not let him take whatever children WANT to go and you can stay home with whoever doesn't. Or you can go elsewhere that fits your beliefs. Then your children can choose where to go.

Personally, I teach my kids what we believe in and why, but I do expect them, as they get older and develop more reasoning and critical thinking, to questions and wonder and study and decide what they believe for themselves and why they believe it. I don't think a person can have true faith if they don't understand how they got there and why they have it. Churches that don't allow studying of religious texts and questioning of their meaning scare me!

[Tuesday]

[QUOTE=DahliaRW;13410026]If your dh wants to go, why not let him take whatever children WANT to go and you can stay home with whoever doesn't. Or you can go elsewhere that fits your beliefs. Then your children can choose where to go.

QUOTE]

This is what I was thinking.

I've been feeling somewhat the same way. DH works Sundays and doesn't attend nor does he have interest. For me - my issue is - I am just not a big group person and I don't like going the same place every weekend. Simple as that, I have discovered. So, I can find a great church that sort of represents what I believe (but not completely - no never completely) and then I tired of that place. Or I want to alternative or just not worship with people at all.

Not sure if you're like me but I'm discovering this fact about myself and realizing one of the reasons I can't find a church that fits me is I just don't like doing church every weekend. I"m also having issues with the lack of female essence in much of the worship I see.