Originally Posted by serenekitten
Thanks again, folks.
I'm afraid no amount of showing him anything (videos, websites, etc.) is going to change his mind -- he's just too stubborn.
The good news is that I'm the exact same way, and I'm holding all the cards in the situation.
For now, we're just going to sit back and relax and wait.
Then as you suggest (relax /wait...) do your best to close the situation- don't spend more time worrying about it. You know YOU ARE not going to do it, no more discussion/energy needs to be spent on it. Leave yourself free to focus more on the many other things you can do to plan for a wonderful preganancy and birth.
Perhaps at some point he'll start to see how dis-harmonious (is that a word?) circumcision feels with all the other energy being focused on creating a healthy and peaceful experience (for everyone- you, your son, even your partner).
I think I mentioned (sorry for going on/on about our situation) I spent a lot of time agonizing over the circumcison issue, including the religious aspect of it, in the end dh WAS just being stubborn-- be he just refused to discuss, and wasn't wasting his time/energy. I don't regret a second of my time spent, but I wish I could have had the resolve to just let it be and know
I would just protect my son when the time came- that I didn't need to defend my decision or build a case or know every answer/detail.
It would have been helpful to have more time to have created more of a support system for our birth, breastfeeding and babymoon time and that would have then supported the issue of intactness. More of a support system then would have been helpful because of all the uncertainty and being overwhlemed I almost caved in to let it happen because I was just to darn exhausted, tired of fighting, and hormonal. But deep down even as I said something like 'i give up, it will probably end up allright, you make the decision' to dh, I deep down knew that would destroy me as well as destroy my relationship with my husband (we had repair work to do after all that anyways).
Luckily by then dh realized that the issue WAS that serious AND that upsetting to me, and he realized he wasn't so keen on it either. We don't really discuss this much, but the times it has come up he's been actually a little supportive- which is quite a statement considering all. We had such a time trying to have a beautiful birth (and didn't get exactly the way we wanted it), I fought so hard to breastfeed, and our little one was just so amazing, and tiny and dependant on us-- all of that to him really made him quite protective- for example, he fully supported delaying any decision on circumcision till breastfeeding was going better.
It's no fun to spend a pregnancy AND post-partum period fighting a battle. If you need to fight it, you'll know it, and you will be able to.
((Hugs)) and hang in there.