DH's Real Men Support Breastfeeding T-shirt

[mizmerricat]

My husband had casual Friday at work today and wore this shirt. He was called into his supervisor's office and told that someone had complained. They found the shirt offensive, and he would have to change the shirt or cover it up.
I know there's no real course of action to take over this, but it's just so .::: : :..... yeah, I think that covers it.

[tanyam926]

What?!! How is that offensive? Do other people where shirts w/sayings, logos, etc.? If they do and it's just the message about bf that people find offensive, come on. That is ridiculous.

[G8P4]

Wow. That's awful. I'm speechless. I don't get it.

[The4OfUs]

I was expecting to see a screenprint of naked boobs on the front of the shirt or something...but THAT shirt? That was offensive to someone? Good grief.

[jorismom]

OK, I am totally pro-breastfeeding, my daughter nursed until 3.5 and I wish that everyone nursed their babies. But, I can see how that shirt could be offensive. Anytime you say "real me do ..." you are also implying the opposite: that if you don't support it you are not a real man.

I guess it just rubs me the wrong way because I am always seeing "real men love Jesus". Considering we are an atheist family, that one always offends me.

[frontierpsych]

Originally Posted by jorismom

OK, I am totally pro-breastfeeding, my daughter nursed until 3.5 and I wish that everyone nursed their babies. But, I can see how that shirt could be offensive. Anytime you say "real me do ..." you are also implying the opposite: that if you don't support it you are not a real man.

I guess it just rubs me the wrong way because I am always seeing "real men love Jesus". Considering we are an atheist family, that one always offends me.

I guess I can see it that way. Same as the whole "Real women have curves" and "Real women don't wear a size 0" thing used to irritate me in a big way when I was a size 0.

[mizmerricat]

Originally Posted by jorismom

I guess it just rubs me the wrong way because I am always seeing "real men love Jesus". Considering we are an atheist family, that one always offends me.

I would totally agree with this....except that those type of shirts are, of course, worn all the time there without incident. It's a total double standard, but dh doesn't want to call them on it. That would just result in the end of casual Friday, not an epiphany on the nature of tolerance and coexistence.
Plus, DH is fairly certain it was a older woman who complained, not a man who felt his manhood was being impugned.

[junipermuse]

Originally Posted by jorismom

OK, I am totally pro-breastfeeding, my daughter nursed until 3.5 and I wish that everyone nursed their babies. But, I can see how that shirt could be offensive. Anytime you say "real me do ..." you are also implying the opposite: that if you don't support it you are not a real man.

I guess it just rubs me the wrong way because I am always seeing "real men love Jesus". Considering we are an atheist family, that one always offends me.

I get what you're saying, but in this case I have to say while it's offensive to say that you're not a real man if you don't believe in Jesus. It shouldn't be offensive to say you're not a real man if you don't support breastfeeding. Keep in mind that supporting breastfeeding and supporting formula feeding aren't mutually exclusive. The shirt makes no statement (explicit or implied) regarding formula feeding. Who is offended. In fact in many states breastfeeding has to be supported (through pumping rooms and break time) so wearing this shirt would basically be like wearing a shirt that supported some other issue that was already supported as law. Like wearing a shirt that says "Real Men support equal pay for equal work." Once again going back to the "Real men... Jesus" shirt, it is offensive to atheists or members of other religions and could be viewed as harrassment to those people in the work place. I suppose the "Real men... Breastfeeding" shirt is offensive to men who strongly encouraged their wives to quit breastfeeding, but I don't think that's a protected class.

[neverdoingitagain]

So, I'm looking at the shirt in question.
I'm confused...where does it say "real men support breastfeeding"? Is it on the arm? The back? Are his arms covering it? All I see is the breastfeeding symbol.

[ramama]

Originally Posted by junipermuse

I get what you're saying, but in this case I have to say while it's offensive to say that you're not a real man if you don't believe in Jesus. It shouldn't be offensive to say you're not a real man if you don't support breastfeeding. Keep in mind that supporting breastfeeding and supporting formula feeding aren't mutually exclusive. The shirt makes no statement (explicit or implied) regarding formula feeding. Who is offended. In fact in many states breastfeeding has to be supported (through pumping rooms and break time) so wearing this shirt would basically be like wearing a shirt that supported some other issue that was already supported as law. Like wearing a shirt that says "Real Men support equal pay for equal work." Once again going back to the "Real men... Jesus" shirt, it is offensive to atheists or members of other religions and could be viewed as harrassment to those people in the work place. I suppose the "Real men... Breastfeeding" shirt is offensive to men who strongly encouraged their wives to quit breastfeeding, but I don't think that's a protected class.

Exactly this! EXACTLY! I tried to think of something to add, but can't. This just says it all.

[LilacMama]

OP,
I see that you are from Georgia. Are there a lot of folks there who find breastfeeding to be indecent? I just wonder if that's a cultural thing. It seems extremely bizarre to me.

[serenekitten]

Originally Posted by neverdoingitagain

So, I'm looking at the shirt in question.
I'm confused...where does it say "real men support breastfeeding"? Is it on the arm? The back? Are his arms covering it? All I see is the breastfeeding symbol.

It's on the back, according to the description.

I find nothing offensive about the shirt. Then again, I'm posting here.

[neverdoingitagain]

Originally Posted by serenekitten

It's on the back, according to the description.

I find nothing offensive about the shirt. Then again, I'm posting here.

Ah...OK, reread the description and saw that too.
My take is this. Its possible someone saw the t-shirt and read "Real men support breastfeeding" and thought there was a "nudgenudgewinkwink" involved. Which would be offensive to me. They possibly took the message sexually, rather than as a sign of lactivism. Which is unfortunate, but very understandable.
Unless your dh is very open about his own lactivism at work, people are more likely to intepret a young guy being a sexist pig about breastfeeding.

[mizmerricat]

I think GA is less tolerant than other areas. I'm not sure I can speculate as to why it's worse here than other parts of the country. I've lived in the south all my life, but never thought of not breastfeeding.

Originally Posted by neverdoingitagain

My take is this. Its possible someone saw the t-shirt and read "Real men support breastfeeding" and thought there was a "nudgenudgewinkwink" involved. Which would be offensive to me. They possibly took the message sexually, rather than as a sign of lactivism. Which is unfortunate, but very understandable.
Unless your dh is very open about his own lactivism at work, people are more likely to intepret a young guy being a sexist pig about breastfeeding.

I thought of the "nudgenudgewinkwink" possibility, although I think it's quite a stretch.
And DH has been very open about lactivism at work. He's super supportive.

[yogafeet]

Originally Posted by serenekitten

It's on the back, according to the description.

I find nothing offensive about the shirt. Then again, I'm posting here.

:

[calebsmommy25]

Kudos to your hubby for wearing that shirt!!! I don't understand why it is so offensive. It is a shame someone had a problem with your husband supporting something as natural and beautiful as breastfeeding, above that, supporting you and other mama's like you.

[onlygirls]

I don't think it is appropriate for causal Friday. Casual Friday generally means that there is still a dress code.

[ani'smommy]

That is completely unbelieveable!

I assume the complaint was about the message, not that iwas a casual t-shirt, right? I mean, were other people wearing t-shirts with slogans or sports teams?

[NoliMum]

Well there's not much to do about it, and I can see how it could be misconstrued as a boobie joke, especially by someone from an older generation, when men supporting anything feminine was taboo, unless they were supporting for sexual reasons, eg, breastfeeding for a peek at the boob.

Anyway, next Friday have him wear a shirt like this: http://images3.cafepress.com/product...olor-White.jpg

[limabean]

What I want to know is, who are these people who go complain to a boss because they don't like what a coworker is wearing? I'm trying to picture the kinds of things that would drive me to go complain to my boss in the hopes that he would put a stop to it, and what someone else is wearing just ... wouldn't make the list.