Didn't think this would happen - I'm ready before he is

[dantesmama]

DS1 is 3.5 and I've always loved nursing him. I was sure that when he eventually weaned, I'd have a hard time dealing with it. And I've just realized that I'm ready to be DONE. He's not. He's down to nursing for just a few minutes before bed, but honestly that's all I can do. He usually asks to nurse one or two other times during the day, but I've been telling him "Not now, we'll have nee-nees when we go to bed." And then he tells me he wants to go to bed NOW. I don't know why I feel this way, but I've even been thinking of weaning him. (I've also been tandem nursing for 19 months now.) The thought of nursing him for another year or 2, or whenever he decides he's ready, just makes me groan. Especially since I know DS2 still has years of nursing ahead of him.

Will this pass? I don't *want* to wean him against his will. Convince me to stick with this!

[Lovenest]

I am sure you are just overwhelmed at the thought of nursing 2 children for years, with nursing 2 I can imagine that could happen.
I would think more about today and not tomorrow, or month or years down the track. He will be weaned before you know and nursing will be the past. You will miss these days when he asked to nurse or you got to cuddle with him and nurse him.

Hugs to you mama.

[nameisrio]

I feel this way too sometimes - mine is 2 yr. 4 mos. I've found it's usually just my own mood or perspective that needs to change b/c my daughter obviously still has a need for the nursing (we are usually just at bedtime, and upon waking if I'm home with her). When I started getting really stir-crazy last summer, I started keeping good books by the rocking chair and now I enjoy my reading time while she nurses. I probably won't get to sit back and enjoy books like this soon enough! Also when I consider the alternative (how WILL I put her to sleep?) I figure we are better off sticking with it for now.

A nice story to share (and maybe inspire?)...the other night we were at our LLL meeting and all the babies except my daughter were nursing there. She walked up to a new baby and said "That baby's having milky. That makes her feel better." Awww...

[SereneBabe]

Since you're posting here, and you asked us to encourage you, I'll point out your feelings may pass.

That said, if they don't, I could imagine a scenario like this (I can imagine it because it's what happened to me): your child senses you don't want to nurse anymore and starts to get insecure and wants to nurse even more.

What I've done in the past is have a "yes na-na" day. I say yes (with fanfare, usually, dancing over excitedly or, whatever) to nursing at any time. This seemed to make her relax and stop needing it all the time.

What you're feeling, though, is important to listen to. When our children are older (my daughter was 5.5 when she stopped -- and it was more me than she who was motivated, but it was ultimately mutual), there are more spaces for wiggle room. Child led weaning does not mean (to me) Mother gives up all rights. It means we follow their needs.

Does your son have a favorite other way of getting comfort? We really didn't have any other ways for her to be comforted. Hugs always led to her wanting to nurse (any closeness did). She never had a particular "lovey" or anything...

Anyway, it doesn't sound like you will "force him against his will," but it does sound like it's a time where you'll want to be sure there are other ways to help him comfort himself. :-)

Good luck!

[dantesmama]

Thanks for the encouragement, everyone! I'm hoping this will pass. He doesn't really have any other sources of comfort; he likes to cuddle, but being that close to my breasts inevitably leads to asking to nurse, of course. And I really don't like to nurse him during the day because then my 19mo gets jealous, and I can't, can't, can't nurse them simultaneously anymore.

For now I'll stick with nursing him as much as I can handle, and I'll keep reminding myself that he WILL wean eventually. He's pretty big for his age, which I'm sure contributes to my feelings about this . . . I sometimes forget he's still little.