Chatting in Spring! - Page 4

[LionTigerBear]

Originally Posted by Vegan Princess

I booked tickets this morning to Kauai for the middle of may. Makenna will be 3.5 months and I will be returning to work June 1st. Figured I should try and get in a vacation while I still have the time. Hopefully DH and I will still be able to relax and enjoy ourselves.

Cindy

Cindy, DH and I are going to NYC for a weekend getaway next month. I've never been so I'm very excited!!! Eliza will be two months old and of course she's coming-- so no Broadway shows for us this time! The boys will stay home with their auntie.


I just weighed Eliza this morning and at 6 weeks old she weighs over 13 pounds!!! She was 9 lbs. 1 oz. at birth. I didn't realize she had gotten SO big!

[BathrobeGoddess]

No DTD yet for us...I am way too parinoid of getting pg. I'm getting an iud on weds! Yippee!

[Nillarilla]

Ok so we got a swing which enabled us to dtd and it was great. For some reason my libido which is usually pretty nonexistent is on overdrive. Could this be breastfeeding hormones?
I chopped off all my hair today. It was so long and heavy and impossible. Often I didn't even get a chance to brush it until midday. I could tell by my hubby's face he was shocked even though I prepared him.
Cordelia slept from 8-8 with one 2am feed and that is it!!!! Gosh it was wonderful.

[heinz28]

Discomfort with DTD

8-8 with one feeding?!!!! I could only hope. Yay for you, Nillarilla!

So, when I tried to DTD, it hurt. It wasn't a lubrication problem. I'm 7 weeks PP. I had a little light spotting afterward. Could it be that the stitches aren't healed despite the nurse saying all looked good? This concerns me as I'd like our lives to return to some normalcy in this area. Did any other moms have this problem before?

[Queen of my Castle]

The first time I dtd after my first baby it was horrible. It hurt more than losing my virginity. I had no tearing at all so it wasn't stitches!
I think you just need to work into it and take it slow. I think it's pretty normal for it to be pretty uncomfortable for a long time. Lubrication helps, for sure, but it can still hurt.

On that front, we dtd too finally, and it wasn't bad at all. I enjoyed it, but we'd had a week of 'preperation' before.

[Vegan Princess]

Bad news on my end! My boss told me before I had the baby he didn't care what hours I was in the office when I came back and that I could work from home 2 days/week. I'm about to start looking for a nanny so I e-mailed him to confirm and figure out which days to work at home and he says he doesn't remember saying that. I can probably do fridays but he wants to do the 2nd day by ear each week...which doesn't work for figuring out a baby sitting schedule! I am really at a crossroads. My job is 10-12 hour days. I don't think I can do that 4 days/week...I'd only have 3-4 hours/day with my baby! I need to decide if I should try and be a stay at home mom. We would have to move to a cheaper apartment and maybe a 1 bedroom instead of 2. I have guilt about quitting a high paying job...especially one I like with a boss I respect (he really is a nice guy despite him reneging right now). Also I work in finance and 10s of thousands of jobs have been lost in my industry lately...so if I decide to go back in a year I likely won't have an easy time finding another job. But these years only happen once. Any thoughts mommas? I'm sure plenty of you are sacrificing to be at home with your little one. I am fine with that...but making the jump terrifies me! Anyone else having a change of heart now that their little one is here? I can't even bring myself to put her in her own room right now...how am I going to leave her for 12 hours/day??

Cindy

[Nillarilla]

Cindy, I don't know what I'd do in your situation. I can't imagine leaving my babe for that long that many days per week. I work 12 hr days 4 on 5 off but I don't have to go back until 1 yr. I think I might look at making the sacrifices and stay home for a year or two. Are you an accountant? Can you do something from home? Can you look for something more reasonable? You could always try it out and quit if it's not working.

[monkaha]

Cindy, that's hard! I will be going back to 12 hour shifts, but I knew that going in and have prepared myself. (a bit-I keep moving back the date when I'll start again) Will you go nuts in a smaller place? It wouldn't be worth it to stay home if you can't stand the home you're in. On the other side, you may find (like I did after the other 2 kids) that once you get to work, it isn't as bad as you thought it would be. Good luck on your decision!

[LionTigerBear]

Originally Posted by Vegan Princess

My job is 10-12 hour days. I don't think I can do that 4 days/week...I'd only have 3-4 hours/day with my baby!

Yeah, that's not enough time at all!!!

Originally Posted by Vegan Princess

I need to decide if I should try and be a stay at home mom. We would have to move to a cheaper apartment and maybe a 1 bedroom instead of 2.

Do it do it do it! For me, my children always come first. And you're right, this IS such a small window of time that they are this young. I stayed home with my kids even when we were quite poor, on dh's salary, so yeah, we lived in a one-bedroom apartment for a while, first when we had DS1 and then eventually with the two boys (a baby and a toddler at the time) and we really cut corners a LOT. We didn't save much of any money during that time and we shared one car until we could save up enough money for one more really old car. For the time I had no car, I took the boys walking everywhere every day which was excellent exercise. We bought the least amount of clothing possible, and often from thrift stores (except for DH's stuff, he has to look sharp for his job ). For two years we did "no present Christmases" and one year we gave everyone homemade cookies for Christmas. We lived without hardly any furniture this whole time-- no couch or living room chairs, no coffee table, no dining room table or chairs. We had one folding chair in front of the computer desk. Our mattress was on the floor.

Good times!! But it was worth it, because I have a bazillion beautiful photographs of me hanging out and having fun with my little boys, who are growing up WAY too fast, and all the time in the world to make money later.

Originally Posted by Vegan Princess

I have guilt about quitting a high paying job...especially one I like with a boss I respect (he really is a nice guy despite him reneging right now)

I understand your guilt feelings. When I first started staying home I felt like a parasite. I felt awful. I thought I had to do EVERYTHING just to earn my keep. Eventually I realized that my job description was more like that of a nanny, and I didn't need to kill myself keeping the house spotless as well. I thought about how expensive a nanny who did all the stuff I do would be, and how if I was working we wouldn't be able to afford that kind of childcare! That's when I realized this new job WAS high-paying-- just in a very different way.

Originally Posted by Vegan Princess

Also I work in finance and 10s of thousands of jobs have been lost in my industry lately...so if I decide to go back in a year I likely won't have an easy time finding another job. But these years only happen once.

Right. It is definitely a sacrifice. But you have to weigh your priorities. Time with your child is a fleeting opportunity. Someday when you are shipping Makenna off to college are you going to wish you'd made more money-- or had a little more time with her?

Originally Posted by Vegan Princess

Any thoughts mommas? I'm sure plenty of you are sacrificing to be at home with your little one. I am fine with that...but making the jump terrifies me!

Yeah, it can be scary.

Originally Posted by Vegan Princess

Anyone else having a change of heart now that their little one is here? I can't even bring myself to put her in her own room right now...how am I going to leave her for 12 hours/day??

Cindy

I know a lot of moms who have had a change of heart after the baby arrived. SIL just couldn't go back to work when her baby was three months old, so she took a year-long unpaid leave of absence. They pretty much blew through their savings and much of their retirement funds, I think. I know they talked for years about how much that set them back financially. (SIL has the much higher-paying job in their family.) But she definitely doesn't regret it!

[Everrgreen]

Cindy - That is a very tough decision. However, if it were me, I would definitely stay home. Like LTB said, years from now when you look back, will you regret staying home? I doubt it, however it's likely you would regret missing that first year (or longer). In another post of yours you mentioned staying home after number 2 comes along, so it seems this is something you want to do in the long run anyway. All you're doing is starting early. I'm sure it will be scary to take that plunge, but sooo worth it

As for me - Royce sucked his thumb yesterday, it was so cute He's been sucking his fists a bit lately (more just figuring it out), but yesterday he got his thumb in there and was sucking away (not for very long, but still). We are having some sleep issues though. He is not sleeping for longer than 2 hours at a time, and usually it's less than that. I'm very frustrated. I used to get good 3 hour stretches - what happened! And it's making me insanely jealous of those with newborns sttn or only waking once or twice. I thought things got better over time, not worse!

[justKate]

Oh Cindy that's a tough decision. No advice, but I understand what you're going through. I'm going back to work May 4th, and sometimes I can't wait, and sometimes I hate the thought of going. I really crave adult interaction about something other than babies.... But then my job's not so intense--I work regular days, have a short commute, and will be able to go to her daycare to BF at lunchtime most days. And we'll be moving in July, so I won't be working that much longer--no idea what i'll do once we're moved.

Is there anyone (maybe the intern?) that would work out a job-sharing arrangement with you? Good luck with your decision.

Gillian, I hear you on the fist-sucking. BTW Royce's eyes are beautiful.

[Vegan Princess]

NAK

Thank you for all your thoughts and advice! DH and I talked at legnth last night and while we haven't decided for sure yet, i think we are leaning towards me staying home. We looked at a cheaper 2 bedroom in the city and it was a dump! But DH thinks we can get a nice 2 bedroom for 5-700/mo less than what we pay now if we move to berkeley. we both love it there and there are lots of crunchy mammas there...we had talked about moving there anyway and getting a 2 bedroom house...so we will just have to stay in an apartment and dh will have a sucky commute (but one he did for a couple years when he lived there before).

The work share is a great idea but I'm sure they won't go for it. I got an e-mail from the intern at 6:30 last night...and my work starts at 5 am! So he's in there working his butt off for like $1k/mo while I get paid a lot and want to be in there as little as possible. I can see why my boss conveniently forgot what he told me. I just don't have the drive for that kind of job anymore! I lost is well before I got pregnant I think.

Cindy

[Mal85]

Cindy- I'm glad to hear you at least have some options. I have to say, although it calls for big life changes I'm so jealous of your opportunity to be at home with your little one. I'm still finishing up school and I will be home after I finish, but I begin in-home child care in May and won't get this alone time with Owyn anymore. I think it will be great for her as she grows to have her buddies around and maybe it will help ward off sibling rivalry when we have another baby...? Who knows...

We had our 1 month WBV today. Owyn is 10 lbs. 1 oz! She is in the 80th percentile on her weight gain! She still seems so little to me, I can believe how big she's getting already. We have to go get her bilirubin (sp?) checked again. She is just over 5 weeks and is still looking a little yellow... it's only in her face and eyes now, but they'd like to see where her numbers are and determine if it needs to be treated any further.

As for me, I have my 6 week check up next week and DH is anxious to see if I'll want to DTD after that... I just don't quite feel ready yet. I'm not sore anymore and haven't had any bleeding since about 3 weeks out (I've spotted on and off but that has been gone for a few days now). But I tore pretty badly and am really nervous about it hurting...

On a happy note, my child care is really starting to fill up! I met the newborn I'll be keeping. She is 4 weeks older than Owyn and absolutely adorable! I can't wait to see them grow together. My SIL is going back to work, so I'm going to be keeping her son who will be 1 y/o when he starts coming full time. She also gave my number to a woman with a 3 y/o little boy. She called me today, but we were at the dr. so I still need to call her back. I also ran into a girl that I went to high school with and she is looking for a place for her 1 y/o son, so I gave her my number and hopefully I'll hear from her. I was getting worried I wouldn't fill up, but word is definitely getting around and quite a few providers are quitting right now, so parents are in need!

[justKate]

Mal85, I wish you lived near me! I know a lot of people that have had babies in the last year, and I keep dropping hints, but no one seems interested in taking on my LO! Although I wouldn't want to watch any other babies either, if I had the opportunity to be home.

[Vegan Princess]

Mal: Wow, I don't know how you'll manage with so many little ones. I have my hands full with just my own!

I think we made a decision...I'm going to stay home! DH came home from work tonight and said he'd decided I should. I'm a bit freaked out about it and a bit sad about not going back but so excited to spend every day with Makenna and do activities with her once she's a bit bigger and not to have to sit chained to my desk on sunny days anymore...I can be outside at the park playing! Hooray! I also decided to try and see what kind of flexible contract wrok I can find through an agency that specializes in professional working moms...I just doubt they have much to offer up right now.

Makenna is currently in her bed awake. I tried putting her down sleepy but awake for the first time. My mom keeps telling me she needs to learn to put herself to sleep. Not sure if 10 weeks is too young for this? Thankfully I just bought a portable video monitor....I'm not sure this is working. I think she's been in there at least 15 minutes and she's still awake. Not crying though. We'll see.

Cindy

[BathrobeGoddess]

I got an IUD today! Yippee! It will hopefully take me up until I am 49 years old and then I won't have to worry anyway! No more suprises for me! One unplanned was enough of a shock thank you! Love him to death but we are done. done. done.

Staying home is wonderful and I'm sure there will be something for you to do at some point. I am lucky enough to teach online so I am home as it is...

[AKislandgirl]

Cindy: It sounds like you made a great decision! Yeah! I quit my job just two weeks before Fiona was born. I'm so glad that I am home with her and not going back to work. Yes, we have to make a lot of sacrifices financially but I really feel it is worth it. I'm going to look into trying to take care of one more child this fall for a little more money. I only have room for one more car seat and I want to be able to go to various activities and not be tied to the house. We'll see how that goes. I think that you will be really happy with this decision!

We just returned from Anchorage where I had dental surgery. Everything went really well! I'm recovering nicely and don't have much pain. Fiona did great on the plane and while I was having the surgery done. I was nervous about both. She was either sleeping or nursing on the one hour flight. She was a tiny bit fussy for DH but not too bad. I'm so glad that its over! Along with her first flight she had her first elevator ride, first hotel stay, first traffic, and heard Daddy yell at bad drivers for the first time! LOL Life in the big city is not for us! She also was able to get her thumb in her mouth and keep it there for the first time. I agree that its one of the cutest thing ever. We have video of her stretched out on the hotel bed sucking away and so happy to be out of the dang car seat!

[Everrgreen]

AKislandgirl - Hope you are recovering well from your surgery. That is quite the trip you had to make for it!

Royce had a good night last night! : He sort of dozed off and on in the evening in my arms while I watched tv. Then it took him a while to get him to go to sleep, but we were sleeping by 11pm and he didn't wake up again until about 3am - 4 hours!! Then he slept a couple of hours before starting his usual early morning grunting. He doesn't seem to be awake and doesn't want to nurse, he's just squirmy and grunty.

DH was telling me that 2 nights ago he woke up in the middle of the night, and I was asleep, but Royce was awake and staring at him. DH said to him "why are you awake?" and he started squirming and smiling, so then DH said "go back to sleep" and closed his eyes for a minute, then when he opened them Royce was sleeping again. I just picture him doing this in the night, waking up and just lying there staring at us. What a weird little boy I have! He really is so funny.

*vent warning*
I am having some issues with dh and I want to know if I'm being unreasonable or not. Sometimes I feel like I do *everything* for Royce - I feed him, do all the diapers, bathe him, get him dressed, etc. Basically all dh does is take him when he's awake and in a good mood. If he get's fussy at all dh will say "looks like you need mommy". I'm getting sick of this. I mean, yes, Royce will usually nurse and be okay, but often I'm sure dh could do something as well and sometimes his 'fussiness' is just that he's bored with what dh is doing and starts letting out these little screams. DH does work most days, but I still feel he should help out and give me a rest once he gets home. And more than just the 20 minutes or so before Royce is bored or fussy.
How involved is your partner? What should I expect from him knowing he's been working all day?

[monkaha]

Gillian, I feel your pain with DH. Hopefully, it'll get better. I found that with my other two kids, DH started to get more helpful around 6-9mos. I think he's intimidated by the little bitty baby. If your DH hasn't been around babies much before, that may be his issue. It sure is frustrating though, isn't it.

Anthony is already in medium dipes! Getting ready to post and sell the small stuff (I think). I can't decide if I should hang on to the stuff he's outgrown, in case we have another, or sell it to buy the next size up and trust that the universe will provide what we need then, like it has this time. I'm such a pack rat that I'm leaning towards keeping it, but I'm trying to declutter and save money, so selling seems better that way. I'm so indecisive! What are y'all doing with your outgrown stuff? (I should mention that DH rolls his eyes every time I mention that we might have more kids-I think he's done. Though he did that after the last one too, and came around at the 4yr mark....)

[AKislandgirl]

I'm definitely keeping everything. Fiona is our first though and we know that we want more babies so our situation is a bit different. I can't believe your ds is already moving into medium diapers! I just ordered smalls since Fiona is outgrowing the NB's!

I put Fiona down on the bed this morning so I could get dressed and throw a load of laundry in. I could here her sucking her thumb (very loud smacking!) and when I finished getting ready went into our room to get her. She was asleep! I can't believe that she put herself to sleep. This is a fist! She falls asleep in the car or the vibrating bouncy chair but not just lying down in our bed. Cool!