Need advice on backup care and midwife travelling 2 hours for birth

[C-Momma]

Hi!

I'm very early...only 5 weeks, but the second my test came up positive I started to worry about this birth. I have one son, who is 2 1/2. He was born in another part of my state (Ky) where there are many resources for natural and home births. Unfortunately, I ended up with PE and his birth was highly medicated with a lot of interventions including an induction at exactly 35 weeks.

I knew I wanted something different with this pregnancy. I accept that I may have no options if I end up with a complication, but I prefer to operate under the pretense that I will have a normal, healthy pregnancy this time around.

We moved since the birth of my son. Our state is not homebirth/midwife friendly. I'm not completely clear on the legalities involved with homebirth specifically, but to my knowledge, unlicensed midwives are not "legally" allowed to attend homebirths. My particular area is barren of resources for people looking for nontraditional alternatives or those seeking an out of hospital birth.

I spent all of yesterday calling around. The closest midwife to me in this state is 2 1/2 hours away and unwilling to travel. Her only advice was "call neighboring states and consider The Farm".

I'm 6 1/2 hours away from the farm, and because of my husbands work schedule, staying there until birth isn't an option.

Two neighboring states have better laws for homebirth and midwives, but most of the practicing midwives are much too far and unwilling to practice in my state.

I finally found a lovely, CNM who left the medicinal setting for homebirths. She was very helpful and gave me phone numbers, encouragement and hope.

After speaking with a direct entry midwife who she referred I was ecstatic! She is willing to travel to me, is less than 2 hours away and very knowledgeable and encouraging! After talking with my husband, we've made the decision to make an appointment with her after next month and pursue a homebirth with her as our midwife.

However...Dh is also concerned with finding backup care. There are only a handful of OBs in my area...To my knowledge, all are very typical and endorse planned or scheduled C-Sections, inductions, etc...none are too excited about a patient birthing naturally and the hospital is NOT brestfeeding, bonding, rooming in or cosleeping friendly.

Dh wants to see an OB for "shadow" care without letting them know about our homebirth plans and stop going at a certain point in the pregnancy (he suggested we mention in the first appointment that we may have the baby elsewhere and are as of yet, undecided about where we will give birth). I am mildly uncomfortable with the thought of fighting with standard OB practices just to have a doctor stare at me and get annoyed with my reluctance to accept traditional tests and procedures. I do recognize the value in establishing a relationship...I recognize that without any prenatal care from an OB I may be treated less than kindly in the event I need backup/Emergency care.

So...I guess what I'm asking is what you would/did do in a similar circumstance. My dh is still traumatized from the last birth and really wants this compromise between shadow/backup care as insurance and having a homebirth with a midwife barring any complications.

I'm also concerned with the distance between the midwife and us...she is undoubtedly the closest, only other option for us at this point. But I have no point of reference as to how long or short my normal labor and delivery would be since my ds was induced prematurely. Dh and I discussed the prospect of him delivering in the event she isn't able to get here fast enough and he is comfortable with providing that support...

So...has anyone else had a homebirth with a midwife living close to 2 hours away?

I know this is very early to be taking this all into consideration. I've had a loss before and feel anxious about this pregnancy but also don't feel comfortable "waiting" to deal with something that is so important to me. Sorry for the length. This is really the only place I know where I can find other women who can share advice and experience with homebirths...

[jess152]

Very interesting! I could almost have written your post, word for word.

I'm also 5 weeks and planning a homebirth with m/w, and one of the things I'm determined to do differently this time around (and you could too, maybe depending on your health, PE aside) is defer all of the doctor's office testing. You can mail away for strips that will check your urine, and do that yourself. (there are lots of midwifery supply sites online where you can find what you need). You can also have your blood pressure checked at the pharmacy for free. My dr weighed me, checked my urine and blood pressure and that was it. The gestational diabetes test towards the end of my pregnancy was revolting and unneccessary for me, your case may be different. I think so many of these tests are a cash grab. He sent me for too many ultrasounds that only alarmed me, also unnecessarily. Every test is a kickback for him. I see it now!

When I requested my hospital records, the nurse actually encouraged me to book an elective c/s for my second!! I couldn't believe it. That tells me right there that I will not get the support I need from that facility. In my mind, the hospital (here) is not a backup. You could always find out what your local hospital's c/s rate is. They might surprise you, but at least you'd not be going in with blinders on.

We also have a midwife coming from away, but it's more like 3 1/2 hours...mabye a bit more. Your m/w being 2 hours away seems ideal. I can't imagine delivering a baby in under 2 hours, although there are probably a few mdc stories as such! Does this midwife have a backup of her own? I guess you'll find that out when you talk to her. Reading birthstories on here, most mamas have lots of notice of when they are going into labour.

You could also look for other m/w's on Finding your Tribe. It's still early in your search and you could still find some other options, even though you've clicked with this m/w.

Good luck! Have you joined a Due Date Club yet?