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would you let a 3 year old play alone in a securely fenced back yard? - Page 4

post #61 of 92
3/25/09 at 5:49pm
No, I wouldn't. Not because I'd worry about kidnapping but just because I'd think there was no way to make a backyard completely safe without it being totally empty!

There are things in my yard that could hurt a little one - fertilizer, my gardening equipment, the woodpile....my kids also would not have been happy alone in the yard. They would have wanted me or a sibling there.

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post #62 of 92
3/25/09 at 5:52pm
I wish I had a yard.
post #63 of 92
3/26/09 at 8:43am
absolutely yes! i would.
but it's what you feel comfortable with that counts most!
post #64 of 92
3/26/09 at 11:41am
Yes I would. I let ds play on our deck in his sand and water table while I am inside. I can see him out a back window.
post #65 of 92
3/26/09 at 12:05pm
When we had a fenced yard I let both my older boys out to play. I could see them though from almost anywhere in the house, and I always had windows/doors open. It was hard for me to do that. I'm a worrier, so I did worry about animals jumping the fence or some random stranger coming by. It was ridiculous...lol....but thankfully I got over it.

At our current house they aren't allowed to step foot out the door without an adult. We live on a lake.
post #66 of 92
3/26/09 at 12:12pm
When the boys were younger and we had a fenced yard I let them play out there all the time on their own. I could see most of the yard from the kitchen windown and would still check on them every 5 minutes or so. They were always so proud of getting to play "on their own" and had no idea I was checking on them. We did have one instance of a boy being covered in mud by his brother...but honestly that was more funny than anything else!: Now that they are a bit older (7, 6 & 4.5) and we are in a different house with no fenced yard they are still allowed to play out there on their own (I still check on them) but they are VERY clear of the rules and know they will have to come inside if they don't follow them.
post #67 of 92
3/26/09 at 3:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robyn79 View Post
Now that they are a bit older (7, 6 & 4.5) and we are in a different house with no fenced yard they are still allowed to play out there on their own (I still check on them) but they are VERY clear of the rules and know they will have to come inside if they don't follow them.
Well, that is why I answered no. My daughters would NOT stay in the yard. They would NOT follow the rules and would run out into the street. No matter how secure and locked I would think the gate was, they'd find a way out! I must be cursed.
post #68 of 92
3/26/09 at 5:19pm
Since my dd talks non-stop, I definitely would if I could hear her playing, even if I couldn't see her. If she was quiet, I would check on her.
post #69 of 92
3/26/09 at 5:19pm
I've noticed that a lot of the "Yes, we do" answering people specify that they can see their child from window/patio doors/open doorways from inside the house. However, the OP said that she can not see a large portion of her yard from the house.
post #70 of 92
3/26/09 at 5:24pm
We do not have a fence. Last summer when he was 3 I let him play in our tiny backyard and I would keep the back door open so I could hear and look out at him every few minutes. The moment I could not hear him I would go and locate him.

Now that he is 4 he knows the "safe zone" and he can go out. We check every 10 minutes or so.
post #71 of 92
3/26/09 at 5:25pm
I do and I can't see much either. I keep the door/window open and listen actively. If it gets too quiet I peek outside. Usually they are in and out so I am aware of them. They always want to show me something.
post #72 of 92
3/26/09 at 5:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by eepster View Post
I've noticed that a lot of the "Yes, we do" answering people specify that they can see their child from window/patio doors/open doorways from inside the house. However, the OP said that she can not see a large portion of her yard from the house.
She said only a small part was visible form the kitchen/living room, not that a large portion couldn't be seen from the house at all. Anyway, I think it is hard to say exactly what you would do in a house you have never seen so people are just giving their experience.

I mentioned I can see my daughter if she is on the patio which is as far as she can go until we get a fence. However, once the yard is fenced and she has free reign of the yard, it will be much more difficult if not impossible to see her in certain parts of the yard particularly from any given window. But I'm comfortable with that. The child talks, yells, screams, and sings non stop when she is outside, so I know I could always hear her.
post #73 of 92
3/26/09 at 5:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by eepster View Post
I've noticed that a lot of the "Yes, we do" answering people specify that they can see their child from window/patio doors/open doorways from inside the house. However, the OP said that she can not see a large portion of her yard from the house.
I can't see my back yard at all from the livingroom.
post #74 of 92
3/26/09 at 7:14pm
only if I could see at all times, and if my back were turned - I'd need to be able to hear voices... call me a nervous nellie...
post #75 of 92
3/26/09 at 7:56pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by riverscout View Post
She said only a small part was visible form the kitchen/living room, not that a large portion couldn't be seen from the house at all. Anyway, I think it is hard to say exactly what you would do in a house you have never seen so people are just giving their experience.
I'm the OP. The only windows I can see the backyard from are in the kitchen, and I can't see much from them. I can go out on the back deck (which is off the kitchen) and see most of the yard. I don't know how much I'll be able to hear in the back yard even with a window open (it's still winter here) since the house is on a daylight basement and so the kitchen is basically on the second story...plus the neighbors' kids behind us jump on their trampoline all day when they're not in school and they are VERY loud.
post #76 of 92
3/26/09 at 8:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by caedmyn View Post
I'm the OP. The only windows I can see the backyard from are in the kitchen, and I can't see much from them. I can go out on the back deck (which is off the kitchen) and see most of the yard. I don't know how much I'll be able to hear in the back yard even with a window open (it's still winter here) since the house is on a daylight basement and so the kitchen is basically on the second story...plus the neighbors' kids behind us jump on their trampoline all day when they're not in school and they are VERY loud.
I was just daydreaming about my soon-to-be-fence and thought of something that might work for you. My daughter is almost the exact same age as yours and she has been really good about staying on the patio at her sand table. She has never wandered off and it's not like I had to be harsh about or anything but just asked her to stay there.

I know all kids are different, so this might not work for your daughter, but maybe you could just let her play in a certain designated part of the yard and set up some kind of visual boundary she would know not to go past like row of pavers or a couple of flower pots...maybe some of that yellow caution tape . You could put her toys in that area so she wouldn't feel the need to wander.

Just a thought. If you aren't comfortable, by all means listen to that. I'm not trying to pressure you. But my son is almost the same age as yours too, so I know it can be tough sometimes to get everyones needs met and giving the bigger kid a little freedom outside while you nurse the baby or do the dishes or whatever can be really nice.
post #77 of 92
3/26/09 at 9:12pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by riverscout View Post
I was just daydreaming about my soon-to-be-fence and thought of something that might work for you. My daughter is almost the exact same age as yours and she has been really good about staying on the patio at her sand table. She has never wandered off and it's not like I had to be harsh about or anything but just asked her to stay there.

I know all kids are different, so this might not work for your daughter, but maybe you could just let her play in a certain designated part of the yard and set up some kind of visual boundary she would know not to go past like row of pavers or a couple of flower pots...maybe some of that yellow caution tape . You could put her toys in that area so she wouldn't feel the need to wander.
Yeah that's a good idea. She loves to play on the front deck but it's a second story deck & I don't really feel comfortable letting her run around on it without direct supervision. Maybe I'll see if she'll stay on the area around the back deck which has wood chips (supposed to be a rose garden but I think the roses all died). I can't see that from the kitchen window but would just have to go out on the deck and look down to see her. I'll have to try that...thanks for the idea!
Just a thought. If you aren't comfortable, by all means listen to that. I'm not trying to pressure you. But my son is almost the same age as yours too, so I know it can be tough sometimes to get everyones needs met and giving the bigger kid a little freedom outside while you nurse the baby or do the dishes or whatever can be really nice.
post #78 of 92
3/27/09 at 12:58am
In my yard, no. But it's not fenced in and totally different. In a different yard, yes
post #79 of 92
3/27/09 at 9:15am
At age 3 I would only do it if you could see most of the yard from your window, which it sounds like you can't.

When ds was 3 we had a small fenced backyard and a big window in the kitchen, I could see and hear everything. It was so nice to be able to let him run around and play while I cooked dinner, etc.

Now that he's 6, he's allowed to go outside byhimself and play with friends. He knows the limits on where he is supposed to go. It wont be long before you can relax a little, but at 3, I'd keep the kiddo within sight/earshot.
post #80 of 92
3/27/09 at 9:22am
Yes, I would let a 3yo play outside alone in the yard described by the OP. I would try to cluster most of the toys in the area that can been seen from the house, keep windows open, and check frequently.
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Parenting › Ages and Stages › The Childhood Years › would you let a 3 year old play alone in a securely fenced back yard?