Older kids at MW appts?

[ShwarmaQueen]

I met w/ a prospective MW today, and she mentioned bringing DD to the appointments if I needed/wanted to. I've never done it because my OB practice won't allow any kids under the age of 12, so...I'm just wondering what it would be like. DD would sit for short periods and entertain herself, but sometimes could be very talkative and distracting.

Did you take your older kids with you to the MW appointments? Feedback?

[Veritaserum]

My kids usually ended up coming with me since it's a pain to find a sitter for every appointment. My mw has baskets of books and toys in the room where the appointments are held, which tells me a lot of other women bring their kids, too.

[*Erin*]

my mw has a whole room filled with kid stuff most of my visits with her were in my home, so dd was here for those also.

[Limabean1975]

I bring my 3-year-old to most appointments! My midwives office have toys in the appointment rooms, crayons and a stack of paper in the waiting room. He interrupts conversation alot, but we deal. The midwife gets him to push the buttons on the doppler, "help" with the blood pressure cuff, etc. The only time I had a problem was when she left the room to let me get my pants off and lie down to get a swab done - right after I got my pants off, but had not lain down and put a sheet over me yet, he decided he would open the door, which opens on to the waiting room...fortunately she was right there and intercepted.

[wbg]

Yup...they came and they loved it! The appointments were at her house and at mine! Sometimes I would call her after an appointment for a follow up because they had been a little distracting, but for the most part it was great and they still ask after her!

[Overthemoon]

My dc are present at all the check ups. But they are all in my home. When I had a regular Ob I would take them there also and they go to all ultrasounds as well. I feel that the pregnancy is a family affair and I like them to be included in all they can be.

edited to add: my dc sit quietly and listen to the midwife talk, and listen to the baby's heartbeat. At the Ob and for ultrasounds they would do the same.

[Full Heart]

In most of my pg the appts have been at home. So they are there anyway. But the times I have gone to appts like this pg all the kids and dh go. My mw has some kid stuff there for them (being a mom of many herself).

My hardest part is that I want to talk about personal stuff and the kids are there so I have to send them away (into another room or outside). Like I want to discuss the state of my mucous with my kids present. It was fine when I had less kids but now that I have more I feel more like a show than anything. Everyone sits around and watches me. Of course I am one of those that doesn't want the kids around during labor either. I'd say if you are comfortable with the kids being there its ok to take them. I know my kids entertain themselves quite well but I know they are super excited. I get zero time for myself so it would be nice to have those 30 min every mos/week to talk about my plans for the birth without being interrupted or watched. When they were younger though it wasn't a problem.

[dogmom327]

DS is only 2 but he comes to all my appointments. Thankfully the personal stuff goes over his head.

[Peony]

I didn't do prenatals this pg but my children have always come with me. DD1 was 3 last pg and came to every one. This time I did several interviews with different MWs and brought my 6 and 2y each time. All the MW's that I have seen, 5 and counting, have always had toys for kids and I bring my own bag with toys and snacks for long things like interviews. Yes, the children talk at times, or the toddler melts down, but I handle it and then we move on. And usually the MW involves the children in the appointment, they help take BP or listen to baby, etc....

[devon]

I've probably brought my kids (4 yo and 2yo) to about half the appointments. More later on in the pregnancy. I did bring them to the interviews too because I wanted to see how the midwife was with them there (both were fine). Our midwife has a 2yo and has lots of fun toys and the boys LOVE going to appointments - they get upset if I go without them. Yes, it can be distracting at times, but she and I are used to it.

It was important for me that they feel really comfortable with her and she with them, since we are planning on having them at the birth. They really like her a lot and talk about her, and she has talked with them about the baby as well.

Would I have taken them to my OB appointments? With my last pregnancy, I think I brought my then 2yo to one appointment (it was a family practice dr, not an OB). Much more difficult to have a 2yo trapped in a little room, and the dr didn't really interact much with him then. He was a lot more nervous too since it was a 'dr's office where now it is just my midwives house so not scary.

[scrapadoozer]

DD (5 years old) has come to every single appointment. She's always been very welcome and loves the whole experience.

[library lady]

I just had my 4th kid and all 3 of the older kids came to the appointment. They would play with puzzles. A lot of times MW would find ways of getting them involved since the older kids were going to be there at the birth.

[deymm]

My 5yo comes along each time. My MW has baskets of toys in every room.

I make him turn around when I have to get undressed or have an exam.

[MelKnee]

My ds came to all my appointments. He was 4 at the time. My MW had some toys in the exam room, but ds would more often want to help. He held the tape when MW measured fundal height. He listened to the heat beat with the fetoscope. He watched my belly grow and we showed him pictures of what the baby looked like at various stages. I think it was a great way to prepare him for the baby.

[treehugginmama]

I always bring mine. I usually try to leave them with my MIL for paps and such but this past time I had to bring them. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

[Talula Fairie]

I have. My midwife has a whole play area complete with a wooden fort thing that has a ladder so they can climb up into it. My kids LOVE going, although if I can I do try to go alone so I can have some "me time."

[ShwarmaQueen]

Originally Posted by Full Heart

Like I want to discuss the state of my mucous with my kids present.

Good point. I can totally see DD announcing to her DCP something like this.

[donutmolly]

I brought DD1 to every MW appt. for DD2 -- she was 2-2.5 at the time. She played, was ocasionally distracting (but not a big deal) and was semi-interested in what was going on. She's now almost 4 and wants to come to the appts. with me, but I don't always take her because things don't "go over her head" anymore. However, she told my MW that she wants to catch the baby... she's much more involved this time.

I leave my 15 mo with DH, because there's no way for me to finish a conversation or have my belly measured with such a little monkey there.

[HappyMommaBear]

I think it's a good thing. One of the beautiful things about a midwife's care vs. an OB is that you form more of a personal relationship. Bringing your children allows her some more insight into your family dynamic, as well as allowing the children to be a bit more involved in the birth process.
Our MW comes to our house for prenatals, and about half of the time she is there is usually spent in talking about this and that, before we get down to the actual prenatal part. I think that is important, because it helps all of us to be more comfortable when she is here attending the birth.

[Raene]

I take my 5 y.o. b/c we don't have a babysitter at present. She is a talker for sure, never stops, and it is hard sometimes. Especially b/c she wants it to be about her, so she talks about how she is pregnant too and she needs acupuncture (my mw does acup.) and a check-up too. It's really hard. If I had more support or if DH didn't feel a need to go to each and every appt, then I would choose not to bring her. I don't think she learns much and she just makes it hard for us to talk to the mw.