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what do I do?

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
My FIL is coming today from Lebanon. DD#2 is 19 months old, still nursing on demand and potty "learned"... Here's the thing: FIL and his UAV wife are coming to stay with us. While at home, I leave DD naked from the waist down so she can go potty when she needs. If I leave her in clothes, she tries to pee through them. outside of the home, she's great at telling me when she needs to go... also, she is not shy at reaching for the breast when she wants it... What do I do?

do I put her in clothes and clean up accidents all week? Do I disregard FIL and female dog wife's feelings and let her run naked? Do I hide when I have to nurse her? I'm over the top nurser with no cover, so "being discreet" is kind of not an option... we don't generally nip anymore unless she's in a mei tai, which I guess I could use while they are here...It's the potty situation I'm really concerned about... diapers are not an option.
post #2 of 8
Thread Starter 
well, I currently have a naked baby nursing in my lap and no idea what to do when her grandfather comes.....
post #3 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyJoia View Post
My FIL is coming today from Lebanon. DD#2 is 19 months old, still nursing on demand and potty "learned"... Here's the thing: FIL and his UAV wife are coming to stay with us. While at home, I leave DD naked from the waist down so she can go potty when she needs. If I leave her in clothes, she tries to pee through them. outside of the home, she's great at telling me when she needs to go... also, she is not shy at reaching for the breast when she wants it... What do I do?

do I put her in clothes and clean up accidents all week? Do I disregard FIL and female dog wife's feelings and let her run naked? Do I hide when I have to nurse her? I'm over the top nurser with no cover, so "being discreet" is kind of not an option... we don't generally nip anymore unless she's in a mei tai, which I guess I could use while they are here...It's the potty situation I'm really concerned about... diapers are not an option.
Does she have a lot of accidents when she's nakey? If no, then maybe dressing her in skirts or dresses that cover her from view, but still let her feel naked? But if she's still having accidents on the floor, then that would still mean having to clean up clothing.

If none of that would work, then you should just say you're potty training like the French do. Maybe that'll make it seem cultured (My sister's French MIL potty trained each of her grandkids by letting them run around her farm naked the summer around their 2nd birthday).

As far as nursing, I think that in your own home, it's perfectly acceptable to nurse however you normally do. You can bring him to visit my SILs house, where she and I nurse at will, if they try to say it's "not done" in Lebanon. Because it is!
post #4 of 8
Thread Starter 
thanks, I knew I could count on you!

no accidents when naked, unless you count her spreading her legs to watch to pee, on the potty an accident. when she's in clothes she has the accidents at home, and in dresses, she sits on the dresses and pees on them.

maybe we should come to your house! if we end up in your area I'll dig out your # and give you a call... at the very least, we can meet IRL!
post #5 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyJoia View Post
when she's in clothes she has the accidents at home, and in dresses, she sits on the dresses and pees on them.
My DD doesn't use the potty if we try to put underwear on her and would always pee on the back of her dresses if she was wearing one. Finally, we started dressing her in really short dresses or long shirts - preferably around hip-length. They were long enough to provide some cover but short enough to be out of the way when peeing. My favourite dresses are jumpers that are sized about 6 months to a year 'too small'.

As for nursing, I figure that it's your home and you should do what makes you comfortable. I'm assuming that you don't live in a one-room cabin. If anyone is offended then they are welcome to go to the kitchen to get themselves a snack - or perhaps a glass of milk. ( Sorry, I just couldn't resist.)
post #6 of 8
From the way you describe you FIL's wife, I have a funny feeling that what you do won't change what she says. I maybe reading too much into you post, but there are somepeople who are simply impossible too please.

There are times in life when nothing that you do will ever be right, or ever be good enough in someone elses mind; so you might just as well do what you are comfortable with.
post #7 of 8
Just out of curiosity, not knowing anything about your situation with FIL and SMIL, but have they given you a reason previously to think that these things would not be "acceptable" to them? Agree with eepster, though, that with some people, it simply doesn't matter what you do, nothing is right. (I have a few of those bad branches in my own family tree.) Good luck.

Oh, and a tip to help with Middle Eastern in-laws, particularly women--ask for cooking lessons, whether you need them or not. It helps on two fronts: 1) acknowledges their need to feel superior and 2) shows them that the food here is different and it really *isn't* your cooking skills that makes all the Lebanese recipes taste like crap.
post #8 of 8
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Turkish Kate View Post

Oh, and a tip to help with Middle Eastern in-laws, particularly women--ask for cooking lessons, whether you need them or not. It helps on two fronts: 1) acknowledges their need to feel superior and 2) shows them that the food here is different and it really *isn't* your cooking skills that makes all the Lebanese recipes taste like crap.
Oh, boy, you have no idea the amount of drama that would ensue if I did this. Shortly after meeting my SMIL, my MIL (who is very insecure) asked me all kinds of "is she better than me" questions. She asked if she was a better cook. I told my MIL that she was a better cook (my MIL). MIL told psycho cousin, psycho cousin told SMIL, SMIL starved me out when I was pregnant with DD#1. DH and I had to sneak out of the house and buy sandwiches. I didn't find out why she stopped cooking until I was about to pop with DD#1...the story goes on, but you get the gist...

It's actually mostly DH that's upset with the nudity... and he's never been comfortable with nip...
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